The most uncomfortable celeb nanny confessions ever

For happy Hollywood couples, the arrival of an attractive nanny can spell certain doom — and future uncomfortable celeb nanny confessions. Just ask Jude Law, whose infamous sexual liaison with his children's nanny rocked the tabloids in 2005, leading to one of the most awkward public apologies in recent memory — particularly since Law happened to be engaged to actress Sienna Miller at the time.

From Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale to Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman, plenty of former celebrity couples have allegedly suffered through their own private NannyGates. Aiming to unpack why these scandals occur so frequently, publications like The New York Times have published loads of lofty trend pieces over the years. Talking to Entertainment Tonight in 2016, nanny-to-the-stars Leah Frand revealed, "I've gotten every offer you can think of." Philippa Christian, author of Nanny Confidential, claimed there are lots of Hollywood nannies out there that "had a baby with a celebrity father who the media [doesn't] know about."

Well, there's also plenty of naughty nanny drama that we do know about. Let's take a look at some of these bizarre love triangles from a variety of perspectives, including confessions from philandering actors, their jilted lovers, and a small militia of scheming nannies. Together, perhaps we can figure out why good help is so hard to find these days.

Mick Jagger's alleged risky behavior

A married man sleeping with the nanny is certainly engaging in bad behavior … so what does it say about sleeping with the nanny when your wife is just a few feet away? Speaking to the Daily Mirror in 2002, nanny Claire Houseman alleged she had quite the rocking romp with Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger. The first time she met the shaggy "Start Me Up" songsmith, Jagger allegedly introduced himself in supreme rockstar style, emerging from a hotel shower thoroughly naked and dripping wet. ("I didn't know which hand to shake!" Houseman saucily shared. Though Jagger wasn't teeming with "rippling muscles," the chatty nanny — a "village girl from Kirkby Overblow in Yorkshire" — was instantly hooked on his "aura." 

Two days later, Jagger and Houseman allegedly sealed the deal in the hotel suite's tiny kitchen. Her admittedly fanciful recollection reads like the purplest prose imaginable: "He hitched me up on to the breakfast bar and he pulled down my jogger bottoms. We kissed passionately, my head was swimming." Then Jagger allegedly began "making love" to Houseman. To top it off, this alleged afternoon delight reportedly took place with Jagger's then-wife Jerry Hall just "30 feet away in the bedroom with baby Gabriel." 

Though she claimed to have no regrets about the tryst, Houseman admitted, "I still feel bad about Jerry." We feel bad for whoever had to wipe down the breakfast bar.

​Gwen Stefani 'went through a real period of anger'

How to cope when your husband allegedly beds down the nanny? We recommend going the Gwen Stefani route and writing a whole album in the aftermath of the fiasco. Better yet, slap that record with a title like This Is What the Truth Feels Like. According to Us Weekly, Stefani's ex Gavin Rossdale had a secret affair with nanny Mindy Mann for many years, and Stefani reportedly ended their 13-year marriage shortly after he fessed up.

According to Vanity Fair, Stefani wrote the song "Used To Love You" shortly after learning of the alleged three-year affair and filing for divorce. In 2016, Stefani confessed going "through a real period of anger," but she "felt like this song was almost like a forgiveness song." Well, lyrics like "Nobody taught you how to love" and "You can keep all the memories" don't sound particularly forgiving to us, but catharsis is certainly a step in the right direction.

At the very least, writing the album proved to Stefani that she could still make music. "I was so scared and insecure and thought it was over for me," she admitted, revealing that she wasn't sure she could still court the muse while dealing with the dissolution of her marriage. "I think the hardest thing I did was to get out of bed and go to the studio," she said. 

​Jennifer Garner had to tell the kids what 'scandal' meant

Having to tell your kids about the birds and the bees will always be awkward … but telling them about the birds, the bees, and the nanny that tore your marriage asunder? Far worse. Shortly after divorcing actor Ben Affleck after ten years of marriage, actress Jennifer Garner confessed to Vanity Fair in 2016 that she had to have a desperately uncomfortable convo with her kids.

Following allegations that Affleck had been sleeping with family nanny Christine Ouzounian, Garner said it had been a "year of wine" that was only somewhat calmed by watching TV and losing herself in Tina Fey and and Amy Poehler comedies. In reference to the scandal — which tabloids decreed "NannyGate," to the surprise of nobody — Garner told Vanity Fair that she and Affleck "had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny." In fact, the alleged affair with Ouzounian allegedly didn't have anything to do with their divorce. Still, Garner acknowledged it was extraordinarily "bad judgment" on Affleck's part, saying, "It's not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives." 

As the tabloids went into overdrive, Garner revealed she had to do some major damage control with her three kids, who had many questions for mom. "I have had to have conversations about the meaning of 'scandal,'" she confessed. That must have been an intensely uncomfortable lesson.

​Jon Gosselin's nanny Stephanie Santoro fessed up

The complicated life of reality star Jon Gosselin got even more complicated in 2009, when a woman named Stephanie Santoro opened up to the tabloids about her alleged affair with the former Jon & Kate Plus 8 star. Though Gosselin swore he'd been unremittingly faithful to then-girlfriend Hailey Glassman, Santoro — former babysitter to Gosselin's children — begged to differ. Santoro's story had it all: back rubs, hot tubs, and one terrible pickup line.

Gosselin and Santoro allegedly met years before this micro-scandal at "a twins convention." One evening, he reportedly invited Santoro to his place in Wernersville, Pa., so they could "hang out in the hot tub and talk more about everything." The night allegedly became a sultry stew of mutual back massages, a first kiss, and Gosselin zapping Santoro with this line: "Whatever you do, don't fall in love with me, because it's going to be impossible for me not to fall in love with you."

Are you fresh from your Silkwood shower? Well, there's more bad news: Santoro's mother, Marci, entered the picture, telling Radar Online that Gosselin didn't see Hailey Glassman as "the person he wanted to spend his life with." He allegedly felt like he couldn't end things because Glassman had a hand in too much "stuff, like the clothing line." 

Glassman and Gosselin eventually broke up, but they were allegedly seen having lunch together in 2016. Those back rubs must really be something.

The Lowes, two nannies, and the fruitless pursuit of truth

In April 2008, actor Rob Lowe wrote a Huffington Post piece claiming that a "former employee" was blackmailing him and his wife, Sheryl. The employee allegedly wanted $1.5 million and warned that, if the couple didn't pay, she would "accuse [them] both of a vicious laundry list of false terribles." The Lowes preemptively sued former nanny Jessica Gibson, who herself filed legal papers alleging that Rob had "placed his hand inside Gibson's pants in order to touch her crotch" and "grabbed Gibson's buttocks without consent." Accusing the couple of sexual harassment, Gibson alleged they'd both treated her in a manner that was "offensive, insulting, unwelcome, mean, perverted, crude and lascivious."

Then in May 2008, another former employee named Laura Boyce offered her own uncomfortable celeb nanny confession when she shed tears at a press conference, confessing that she quit working for the couple because she "could no longer put up with Mrs. Lowe's conduct towards [her]." As People reported, Boyce filed her own lawsuit, claiming Sheryl would repeatedly strut around the house naked and allegedly made racist remarks about Boyce's boyfriend. In court documents, the distraught nanny claimed Sheryl created a "sexually offensive and hostile work environment" and regularly used the N-word in reference to her boyfriend. Cringe-inducing accusations, but was any of it true?

We'll never know. Both cases were unceremoniously dismissed in 2009, with lawyers refusing to divulge whether any settlements had been reached (via People).

Eva Amurri Martino and the mystery of the sexting nanny

Actress, blogger, and Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri Martino confessed she had her own run-in with a nanny in 2016. Martino shared the sleazy story on her blog Happily Eva After, recounting the whole ordeal in vivid detail and calling it a "traumatic and bizarre experience and extremely inconvenient."

In a blog post titled "Nannygate 2.0," Eva verbosely recounts returning home from a trip to New York City and calling her husband, former soccer player and TV host Kyle Martino. "Don't panic," he told her, "but I had to fire the nanny this morning." Kyle had apparently received a text from the nanny that appeared to have been sent in error. It read, "Girl, did I mention to you how hot and sex (sic) my Boss is … too bad he seems not to like thick Latin women…" 

Kyle fired her (and recorded the whole awkward exchange with his iPhone Voice Notes app in case things got super-sketchy). "She sent it the only morning she had that his wife was out of town," Eva fumed on her blog, revealing that the skirmish made her feel all the emotions: anger, betrayal, and pride "in [her] husband for being so loyal." Eva tied up her tale of sexual deception in a taut bow, claiming the "bizarre Nanny experience brought [them] even closer." In fact, it was decided the whole family would tag along with Kyle for his next business trip.

​Jude Law and the art of the awkward public statement

In 2005, The Talented Mr. Ripley actor Jude Law had a very public confession to make. While engaged to actress Sienna Miller, Law had a sexual dalliance with the then-26-year-old nanny to his children, Daisy Wright (or Daisy Knight, depending on which tabloid you're reading). The affair took place in New Orleans while Law was shooting a remake of All The King's Men with Sean Penn, Sir Anthony Hopkins, and Kate Winslet. 

After the dalliance, Wright went ahead and sold her sexy diary to the tabloids. According to the Telegraph, Wright's recount of the fling including some extraordinarily unappetizing details, including Law's children finding her in "daddy's room, tucked up in his arms." As the scandal unfolded, Law took it upon himself to issue a public statement that acknowledged his momentary lapse of monogamy: "I just want to say I am deeply ashamed and upset that I've hurt Sienna and the people most close to us." His message included other public apology touchstones like "there is no defense for my actions" and "I ask that you respect our privacy at this most difficult time." 

Meanwhile, Miller steered clear of the boilerplate formalities. As she emerged from the scandal in 2006, she cheekily advised single women to "just stay single" and to "stick together with your girlies." 

​Ethan Hawke: 'Sexual fidelity' isn't everything

"People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity." So said actor Ethan Hawke in 2013, confessing to Mr. Porter that he didn't feel the need to subscribe to outmoded, old-fashioned relationship rules. "Our species is not monogamous," he emphasized, adding that "sexual fidelity can't be the whole thing you hang your relationship on."

It's unclear whether ex-wife Uma Thurman was filled in on Hawke's perspective prior to marrying him. According to the New York Daily News, the couple's six-year marriage exploded in 2004 after Hawke allegedly cheated with the nanny, Ryan Shawhughes. In 2008, Hawke subsequently married Shawhughes, assuring The Guardian the following year that his "marriage [to Thurman] disintegrated due to many pressures, none of which were remotely connected to Ryan."

But do you believe him? When Thurman appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2005 shortly after their divorce, Winfrey mentioned reading there was "some betrayal of some kind," and she asked Thurman it was true (via People). (For the sake of thoroughness, we should mention there were also rumors that Hawke's alleged fling with model Jen Perzow was a factor in their divorce.) "There was some stuff like that at the end," Thurman admitted, adding, "We were having a difficult time, and you know how the axe comes down and how people behave and how people express their unhappiness."

Thurman confessed that after the divorce, her "self-esteem was pretty mangled." 

​Stephen Belafonte, the nanny, and some serious allegations

During their gritty divorce proceedings in 2017, English singer and reality star Mel B accused her former husband Stephen Belafonte of getting their German nanny Lorraine Gilles pregnant. Mel B (full name Melanie Janine Brown) claimed Belafonte "forced" Gilles to get an abortion and paid her $300,000 (of Mel B's money) for "alleged nanny services." The America's Got Talent judge claimed Belafonte even concocted a totally bogus marriage for Gilles (to an events manager named Michael Bleau), just so she could stay in the United States and they could continue having their clandestine affair. As TMZ reported, legal documents indicate that Mel B also alleged that Belafonte and Gilles were blackmailing the former her with sex tapes.

According to the Daily Mail, Gilles struck back with a super uncomfortable celeb nanny confession in a 128-page libel lawsuit, claiming Mel B was a "cameraman" during wild threesomes, which allegedly occurred "multiple times a week." Nevertheless, Gilles said she felt "very uncomfortable" filming all these alleged erotic exploits. The lawsuit made Mel B out to be some sort of wily sexual ringmaster calling all the kinky shots. "I never had any sexual relations with Stephen without Melanie's instruction and without Melanie's actual or apparent consent," Gilles claimed.

We don't know what the truth is here. All we know is Belafonte and Mel B divorced in December 2017, and we are exhausted.