Bizarre Things About The Olsen Twins That Make No Sense

It kind of goes without saying that any hope for a normal life gets dashed for people who become millionaires before they can even walk, but Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who famously portrayed Michelle Tanner on the smash sitcom Full House, cranked the dial on their wacky personal lives all the way up to 11.

With everything from their strange dating preferences, to some questionable business practices, to Mary-Kate's still-unexplained connection to the death of Heath Ledger, the Olsen twins have led bizarre lives since leaving the TGIF lineup. Though they've found massive success in an entirely separate business — the fashion world, and they've also become increasingly reclusive. And they don't smile. But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. There's a lot to unpack when it comes to the mysterious world of the Olsen twins, so let's dive right in and find out just how peculiar Mary-Kate and Ashley's lives have become.

It seems to have been forgotten over the years that Mary-Kate was somehow linked with actor Heath Ledger's death in 2008. While there was never any suggestion of foul play, Mary-Kate's name was involved from the moment the Dark Knight star's body was discovered. When Ledger's masseuse found him unconscious in his New York City home, the first person she called was Mary-Kate, twice, instead of 911.

According to the Daily Mail, when the masseuse finally determined she should reach out to the authorities, Mary-Kate "sent over her security team who arrived at [Ledger's] flat at the same time as the ambulance." Stranger still, multiple news sources reported that Mary-Kate refused to talk to federal investigators about Ledger's death unless she was granted immunity. Why was she so concerned about being implicated for something? Did it have anything to do with Ledger's accidental overdose on prescription pills?

Her attorney, Michael C. Miller, denied she had anything to hide. "Mary-Kate Olsen had nothing whatsoever to do with the drugs found in Heath Ledger's home or his body, and she does not know where he obtained them," Miller said in a statement.

Mary-Kate's stonewall tactic eventually worked when the DEA and federal prosecutors closed the inquiry into Ledger's death in August of 2008. "The U.S. Attorney of the Southern District decided not to serve Olsen with a subpoena," a source told the New York Daily News, which effectively let Olsen off the hook for any further speculation.

For most of their adult lives, the Olsen twins looked like younger, pint-sized versions of Cameron Diaz, but around November 2014, people began noticing just how different Mary-Kate looked compared to her younger self and her fraternal twin sister. Naturally, the plastic surgery rumors flew, with some gossip sites even claiming Ashley had altered her appearance, too.

In 2017, the plastic surgery chatter kicked into high gear again after the Olsens showed up to the MET Gala (above), where Mary-Kate once again bore the brunt of the speculation. It should be said, however, that the tabloid Life & Style did its best approximation of due diligence when it consulted with a plastic surgeon (who hadn't treated either twin) about possible work Mary-Kate had done. His conclusion? Smoking and/or bad makeup and lighting is to blame for her gaunt face. Mystery solved.

The ladies rarely talk about their personal lives and have certainly not fielded questions about cosmetic surgery, but don't worry, because unethical plastic surgeons who are willing to speculate on patients they've never treated just to get their name mentioned in a national publication are never in short supply.

Portraying Michelle Tanner on Full House was undeniably the starting point for all of the Olsen twins' fame, but when the cast signed on to be in the sequel series, Fuller House, the Olsen twins were the only ones to decline. While it's understandable that they want to take their lives in a different direction, it doesn't seem too much to ask for the Olsens to at least make a cameo as a nod to the fans and co-stars that cemented their lives of leisure and luxury.

The reclusive duo did sort of share its reasons for skipping the reunion. According to show producer Bob Boyett, "Ashley said, 'I have not been in front of a camera since I was 17, and I don't feel comfortable acting,'" and "Mary-Kate said, It would have to be me because Ash doesn't want to do it. But the timing is so bad for us."

Amazingly, Full House and Fuller House creator Jeff Franklin doesn't consider the snub a burned bridge, although he did tell Us Weekly that after three years of rebuffed invitations to join the show, he's done asking. "But when somebody rings a doorbell, the girls yell, 'It's always open!' on the show," Franklin said, adding, "So that's kind of how we feel about the Olsen twins. The door is open."

There are few details about the notoriously press-shy Mary-Kate's wedding, but like many things in the eccentric twins' life, one tidbit leaked from the nuptials left everyone scratching their heads.

Page Six reported that a source said there were "bowls and bowls filled with cigarettes, and everyone smoked the whole night," which is bizarre, especially since it took place in Manhattan, where for years smokers have been shunned into shameful, huddled groups as far away from the general public as possible. Then again, Mary-Kate married Olivier Sarkozy, a french billionaire, so maybe the cigs and the laissez-faire attitude sort of do make sense. But what about the other details?

Page Six also reported that guests, of which there were only 50, "were required to turn in their cellphones" before a cocktail reception and indoor dinner at "a private residence on 49th Street, between Second and Third avenues." Actually, that all seems completely in line for a woman who once said, "We've stayed quite sheltered." Okay fine, that was Ashley, but you get our point.

In a profile in The New York Times about the launch of the Row — the Olsen twins' super high-end clothing store, Ashley admitted she "has never purchased anything online," while Mary-Kate bought something once "at an online auction." We're just going to assume it was a Jesse & The Rippers CD autographed by John Stamos because that's the only way we'll feel like these ladies are somewhat relatable humans after reading about their ridiculous store.

The Times story includes the following descriptions about their boutique: "They convinced Masa Takayama, the renowned sushi chef, to sell them his ceramics," and "Indeed, the store feels more like a tastefully appointed manse than a traditional retail shop, its individual rooms decorated with marquee art (a Basquiat here, a Borge Jorgensen sculpture there) and significant furniture." 

Cool, so we're guessing no clearance rack, right? How about layaway, because if we can do $5 on that Jorgensen, we'll totally be back next week with the rest.

We get that fashion, especially the haute couture kind in which the Olsen twins dabble, isn't always meant to be functional, but at what point does personal comfort outweigh looking cool? 

For the Olsen twins, we're not sure that line even exists, since they were spotted on May 18, 2017, stepping out in New York City wearing what appear to be some heavy fall fashions. One of them — we can't tell which — was even wearing a long wool overcoat and a huge scarf. So? They always dress strangely, right?

Well, as Refinery 29 points out, the twins were photographed walking down "a piping hot New York sidewalk in 90-degree weather." To be exact, the high in The Big Apple that day was 92 degrees Fahrenheit, according to Accuweather, which either means the Olsen twins have secretly been cold-blooded lizard people this whole time, or sweating one's face off is about to be the look of the summer. Either way, it's just more of the perfectly bizarre Olsen behavior we've all just learned to accept.

What's a story about bizarre celebrity factoids without the mention of some trendy new age alternative wellness practices? For years, controversial celebs such as Spencer Pratt, Jaden and Willow Smith, and Kim Kardashian have extolled the various alleged healing properties of crystals. Now it's Mary-Kate and Ashley's turn, and so, naturally, they took things into the strange-o-sphere by handing out black and clear crystals as parting gifts for their fall 2019 runway show during Fashion Week in New York City.

According to The Cut, the Olsens paired the "palm-sized" tourmaline (black) and clear quartz crystals in matching knit bags, along with a card that offered a description of the rock's mystical properties, as well as instructions for its proper care (A 24-hour salt is required for proper cleansing.) The clear crystal was said to offer its recipient "universal harmony" as well as the balance of one's "physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual planes." The tourmaline was said to provide "protection" from "negative energies," as well as a reduction in fear and an increase in focus.  

Now, we're not here to poo-poo anyone's beliefs. If crystals are your thing, awesome, may the force be with you. But combined with everything else we know about the Olsens, like they're apparent passion for a known carcinogen (cough, cough: cigarettes,) the idea of harmoniously balancing one's aura with clear rocks seems strange.

When Mary-Kate started dating Olivier Sarkozy, the banker and brother of former french president, Nicolas Sarkozy, eyebrows immediately shot up over the pair's age difference. Olivier is about 17 years Mary-Kate's senior. But then they actually went the distance and got married, leading skeptics to reevaluate whether or not the unlikely pairing was actually a match made in heaven.

But then there's the fact that Ashley has been connected to a string of old dudes as well. According to W Magazine, she's been "romantically linked to visual artist George Condo, 59, as well as the CEO of Oliver Peoples, David Schulte, 47, among others." Her most recent May-December romance, as of this writing, was with financier and art dealer, Richard Sachs, 58, from whom she split in March 2017.

Granted, this could just be a coincidence, or it could be a practical reflection of either that creepy "twin-sense" that Ashley once said they "definitely feel." It could even just be a demonstration of the oft-repeated remark about the fickle fashionistas having "old souls." Regardless of the "why," the optics of a young woman on the arm of guy who looks like he could be her dad are always going to come across strange. Sorry, if that makes us sound old-fashioned or out of touch. Maybe our crystals need a salt bath.