Celebs' Wildest Kiss, Marry, Kill Responses
Celebrities are never allowed to just talk about the projects they're working on during interviews — they have to field questions about fashion, their personal lives, and even their celebrity crushes. Interviewers have also taken a shine to challenging Hollywood's biggest and brightest by interrogating them about hypothetical scenarios, and the "Kiss, Marry, Kill" format has become a favorite way to do this.
It's unclear when entertainment journalists started incorporating the schoolyard game into their interviews, but this has been going on since at least the mid-aughts. During Wilmer Valderrama's controversial 2006 appearance on "The Howard Stern Show," Howard Stern gave the actor three exes to choose from for the R-rated version of the game, "F***, Marry, Kill." Valderrama said he considered Lindsay Lohan marriage material, would f*** Mandy Moore, and would kill Jennifer Love Hewitt. Some celebs have discovered that it's a bad idea to elaborate on their choices, including Colombian artist J Balvin. When he appeared on SirKazzio's YouTube show in 2018, he explained why Rihanna was his kiss pick by saying, "Rihanna isn't a good woman to marry, just fool around." In a statement to Fader, Balvin's rep claimed that his response was "taken out of context by some."
The game was used to humorous effect in a 2014 episode of "Two and a Half Men" when Ashton Kutcher's character, Walden Schmidt, chose to marry Angelina Jolie over his then-fiancée, Mila Kunis. At least he could say his responses were scripted, unlike the celebs below.
Travis Kelce said he'd marry Taylor Swift's ex-nemesis
It's a good thing that Katy Perry ended her feud with Taylor Swift before the "Bad Blood" singer started dating Travis Kelce. If they hadn't buried the hatchet, Perry could have used a resurfaced Kelce interview to take a swipe at Swift.
Perry was still on Swift's list of enemies in September 2016 when one of the "Hot N Cold" hitmaker's fans asked her if she would ever collaborate with Swift. Perry tweeted in response, "If she says sorry, sure!" A month later, Travis Kelce played a game of "Kill, Marry, Kiss" with AfterBuzz TV. The Kansas City Chiefs tight end was still four years away from winning his first Super Bowl and was nowhere near as famous as he is today. However, he had managed to score his own reality dating series on E! called "Catching Kelce." He was promoting it when he told AfterBuzz TV that he'd kill Ariana Grande, kiss Swift, and marry Perry.
Kelce also played the game with three of the Kar-Jenners: Kim Kardashian, Khloé Kardashian, and Kylie Jenner. "This is gonna sound bad, but I don't know which one's which," he admitted. However, he ultimately made another "Marry" choice that would make Swifties cringe years later when he got caught by their idol: Kim Kardashian. Since it sounds like Kelce wasn't exactly keeping up with the Kardashians at the time, he probably wasn't aware that Kimye's feud with Swift had escalated earlier that year.
Gwyneth Paltrow praised her exes' sexual prowess
Gwyneth Paltrow had "Call Her Daddy" host Alex Cooper in awe of her A-list romantic history when she appeared on the podcast in 2023. Cooper couldn't resist the opportunity to see if Paltrow was game to play "F***, Marry, Kill" with her famous exes — and she was! The guys the Goopster was given to choose from were her "Seven" castmate Brad Pitt, whom she dated from 1994 to 1997; her "Shakespeare in Love" co-star Ben Affleck, who was her on-and-off leading man from 1997 to 2000; and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, whom she was married to from 2003 to 2014.
Paltrow's "Marry" answer was easy; she went with Martin because they share two kids. Pitt was her "F***" pick, while she delivered the death blow to the man who runs on Dunkins. However, Paltrow had praised Affleck earlier in the interview when she was comparing his bedroom skills to Pitt's. "Ben was technically excellent," she said. Despite his talent, he still lost that battle. "Brad was like the sort of major chemistry, love of your life," Paltrow explained.
While it sounds like Paltrow had a rather passionate relationship with Pitt, she won't be pulling a Bennifer. In a 2022 interview with Pitt for her Goop website, Paltrow reminded readers that she's happily married to "Glee" co-creator Brad Falchuk by telling her ex, "I finally found the Brad I was supposed to marry. It just took me 20 years."
Hoda Kotb probably wishes she could change her responses
When Hoda Kotb appeared on "Watch What Happens Live" in 2016, a caller asked her to play "Shag, Marry, Kill" with Carson Daly and two other "Today" co-hosts, Matt Lauer and Willie Geist. She decided that she'd shag Lauer and take a trek down the aisle with Geist, leaving Daly as the coworker she'd put to death. "I'm sorry, and I love Carson," she said. She later discussed her answers on "Today," which put her in the awkward position of having to explain herself to Daly with a comment that you don't expect to hear from a morning news anchor: "I wanted to shag two people!" Viewers also learned that Kathie Lee Gifford agreed with Kotb's "Shag" choice but would kill Geist "with kindness."
If they were to play the game today, Kotb and Gifford might want to swap their answers. A year after Kotb was put in the hot seat on "WWHL," Lauer was fired by NBC News. When his axing was announced on "Today," Kotb sat beside Savannah Guthrie as she read a statement from the head of NBC News at the time, Andy Lack, explaining that Lauer had been accused of "inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace." After Guthrie said her piece, Kotb added, "I've known Matt for 15 years and I've loved him as a friend and as a colleague ... It's hard to reconcile what we are hearing with the man who we know."
Nick Jonas said he'd marry his brother's ex
Nick Jonas played a less morbid variation of "Kiss, Marry, Kill" called "Lips, Wife, Leave It" in 2015. Two of the options Capital FM gave him were his ex-girlfriends, Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. Before he revealed his responses, he made sure to note that he was happily dating former Miss Universe Olivia Culpo at the time. He also said that the inclusion of exes added an extra degree of difficulty to the game, explaining, "It makes it a little bit more uncomfortable." After some deliberation, he decided to "lips" Gomez and "leave" Cyrus. "Although I got love for Miley, she's great," he added.
Nick revealed that he was on good terms with both exes, but it was a no-brainer for him to pick his "Camp Rock" co-star Demi Lovato as the woman he wanted to "wife" – even though she used to date his brother Joe Jonas. "We're like brother and sister and friends. I'd prefer to spend life with her, as opposed to the others," Nick explained. A sibling-like bond (or a sibling's ex) isn't usually what people look for in potential partners, but whatevs.
Sadly, Lovato told Harper's Bazaar in 2020 that she and Nick were no longer good pals, and she and Gomez weren't, either. However, she was still friends with Nick's other aforementioned ex from their Disney days. "I talk to Miley," said Lovato. "She's awesome, and I love her to death and always will."
Ashley Tisdale defended her responses
In 2019, a "Watch What Happens Live" caller tried to ruin Disney Channel fans' fond childhood memories of Zack Martin (Dylan Sprouse) adorably flirting with Maddie Fitzpatrick (Ashley Tisdale), only for her to remind him that she's much too old for him. Tisdale was one of Andy Cohen's guests, and the devious caller asked her to play "Marry, Shag, Kill" with her "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" castmates Dylan and Cole Sprouse. Her third option was her "High School Musical" co-star Zac Efron.
Ashley's "Shag" was Cole, and her "Marry" was Dylan. When she played a different game called "Thirst Trap" with Elle, she offered some possible insight into why she categorized the twins this way. "You know who texts me back all the time? Is Dylan Sprouse," she said, adding that Cole does her no such courtesy. But some fans weren't happy with her choices, including her decision to off Efron. "Anyone questioning why I didn't pick Zac is very weird," she tweeted, adding a friendly reminder that she and Efron's ex, Vanessa Hudgens, were besties. Tisdale already had to rage-kiss Efron when he guest-starred on "Suite Life," so why couldn't fans just accept that she'd rather see him die than have a sexual or romantic relationship with him? Efron also made that kiss extra-awks by trying to unexpectedly slip her the tongue. "I closed my mouth so fast. I was like, 'This is Disney Channel!'" she recalled to Elle.
Zoey Deutch has one co-star she'd love to kill
Things got zany when Zoey Deutch played "F***, Marry, Kill" on "Chicks in the Office" in 2022. Her options were three of her co-stars: Glen Powell from "Set It Up," Zac Efron from "Dirty Grandpa," and Dylan O'Brien from "Not Okay." First, Deutch decided that she wanted to marry a different "Dirty Grandpa" castmate, Robert De Niro. Thinking of him reminded her of the time she peed her pants in his presence, so the game got temporarily derailed when she shared that embarrassing story. She then revealed that there's only one man out of all the actors she's worked with that she'd place in the "Kill" category. "Lot of marry," she said.
When co-hosts Francesca "Fran" Mariano and Maria "Ria" Ciuffo started trying to figure out the identity of the actor whose existence she'd like to erase, Deutch quipped, "This is the most Scorpio thing of me ever, that I'm making you guys guess who I would kill." After looking at her phone, Ciuffo deduced that it was Deutch's "Why Him?" co-lead, James Franco. Deutch reacted by saying, "How 'bout this water?" and taking a sip from her bottle.
Ciuffo didn't reveal what she saw that made her think that Franco was the culprit, but he was accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women in 2018. That same year, Deutch appeared on "Watch What Happens Live" and revealed that Franco had unpleasant breath when they shot their kissing scenes.
Maddison Brown couldn't choose between the Hemsworths
Two months after Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth split up in 2019, Liam was spotted at an NYC restaurant with fellow Aussie actor Maddison Brown. "They looked really great together," an eyewitness told Us Weekly.
Brown wasn't as well-known as Liam, so the media began doing a lot of digging into her past to give readers the scoop on the "Dynasty" star. One discovery was a video of Brown playing "F***, Marry, Kill" on the "Zach Sang Show" a few months before she was photographed kissing Liam as he caressed her backside. Brown and her "Dynasty" castmate Elizabeth Gillies were allowed to have some say in their options before the game began, with the only requirement being that they were Australian celebs. Brown insisted that Liam and his brother Chris Hemsworth were included as a bloody bonzer bundle. The other options were "Barbie" star Margot Robbie and "X-Men" actor Hugh Jackman, whom Brown immediately chose as her "Kill." Of her remaining choices, she said, "I'm gonna marry Margot Robbie because I would like to f*** her for life, and then I will f*** the Hemsworth brothers, but at the same time." Brown explained that she could never have the Hemsworths as her hubbies because they're simply too hot, and she'd want to keep them home with her. "I'm too insecure," she admitted. This never became a concern with Liam, who was first spotted with his longtime love, Gabriella Brooks, later that year.
Scott Disick played the game with the Kardashian sisters
Khloé Kardashian challenged Scott Disick to play "F***, Marry, Kill" on "Kocktails With Khloé" in 2016. His options were Khloé herself, Kim Kardashian, and Kourtney Kardashian. Disick and Kourtney had called it quits by then, but he described his ex as "my girl" and chose her for his "Marry" answer. If placed in his position, a lot of people would squirm when tasked with pairing the remaining two verbs with the names of their ex's siblings. But this is Lord Disick we're talking about. He didn't hesitate or bat an eyelash when he told Khloé, "Bang you, kill Kim for sure."
Kylie Jenner's on-again, off-again boyfriend at the time, Tyga, was also a guest on the show, and he had to spend a little longer contemplating the same question. "I'd probably marry Khloé, probably f*** Kim, probably kill Kourtney," he said. Tyga's twisted reasoning for killing Kourtney was that Disick was his "dawg."
Maybe Tyga would have answered the question differently if he'd seen an episode of "Watch What Happens Live" that aired just a few days before his "Kocktails" appearance. When host Andy Cohen made Khloé play "Marry, Shag, Kill" with her sister's partners at the time, she chose to end Tyga's life and spend the rest of her life with Kanye West. That left her in agreement with Disick that the two of them are best suited for a one-night stand sitch.
The ex Joe Jonas would kill
Joe Jonas was one of the unfortunate souls who used his "plead the fifth" option before Andy Cohen presented him with a "Marry, Shag, Kill" scenario. In his 2016 appearance on "Watch What Happens Live," he was forced to decide among three exes. His selections were Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, and Gigi Hadid.
Swift famously immortalized her breakup with Joe in her music, and when she appeared on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," she called him out for dumping her during a 25-second phone call. However, Joe reluctantly selected her as his "Shag." He said of their relationship, "We were children." Just like his brother Nick Jonas, Joe chose Lovato as the woman he'd put a ring on. "She's a friend," he explained. The exes proved this a month later when they gave a joint interview to Access Hollywood. "I have several best friends, and I definitely consider Nick and Joe as two of them, and brothers as well," Lovato said.
Joe didn't reveal why he wanted to give the Grim Reaper Hadid's number, but he'd previously made his feelings known about the model rebounding with former One Direction member Zayn Malik. Three months before his "WWHL" interview, Joe told the Mirror, "I think it's interesting that she moved on so quickly, I mean it was definitely very quick." By the end of 2016, Joe was dating "Game of Thrones" star Sophie Turner. Unfortunately, she could now be included in his game of "Shag, Marry, Kill: Exes Edition."
Why Keri Russell would shag Justin Timberlake
"The Americans" actor Keri Russell was among the young stars who got their start on "The All-New Mickey Mouse Club" in the early '90s. When she was employed by the House of Mouse, her coworkers included Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, JC Chasez, and Ryan Gosling. Andy Cohen mined her Mouseketeer past for a game of "Plead the Fifth" on a 2017 episode of "Watch What Happens Live," kicking things off by giving her Gosling, Timberlake, and Chasez as "Shag, Marry, Kill" options. "That's awful!" said Russell. She initially said that she was going to plead the fifth, and who could blame her? Cohen's other guest that night happened to be Russell's longtime partner, Matthew Rhys, who joked that he would marry Gosling.
Russell, however, seemed to fear that a worse question was coming and had a change of heart. She decided to take care of the "Kill" category first and chose Chasez. "He was my friend and he'll understand," she explained. Russell continued, "I'm gonna say shag Justin because he's a good dancer." Rhys agreed with Cohen when he chimed in to say, "Which means he's probably a good lover." This left Russell marrying Gosling by default and forming a throuple with Rhys, who pointed out, "Canadians are nice."
One "Mickey Mouse Club" member that Cohen left out of the game was Tony Lucca, whom Russell dated for years. In 2010, Lucca appeared in an ad for Timberlake's 901 Silver Tequila.
Maksim Chmerkovskiy didn't mince words about his murder pick
Maksim Chmerkovskiy was given the pick of every celebrity he's ever danced with on "Dancing with the Stars" when he played "F***, Marry, Kill" on the "Allegedly" podcast in 2015. Three-time Olympic gold medalist Misty May-Treanor was the dance partner he could see making a great life partner. "She's an amazing chick," he said of the retired beach volleyball star. Instead of revealing who he would like to have sex with, Chmerkovskiy decided to share the identity of a contestant that he had a romantic relationship with singer Willa Ford. She and Chmerkovskiy competed on Season 3 of "DWTS" in 2006.
"DWTS" eliminations are nowhere near as brutal as what Chmerkovskiy had to say when he decided who he would like to eliminate forever. "I would definitely kill Hope Solo ... She's just a s***ty person," he stated. The retired soccer star was his Season 13 partner in 2011.
Chmerkovskiy complained about Solo's 2012 book, "Solo: A Memoir of Hope," in which the Olympic goalkeeper chronicles some of the adversity she's faced in life. She also accuses Chmerkovskiy of being physically abusive to her during their "DWTS" rehearsals. "[He] hit my stomach so hard with his open palm that I had a red handprint there for the rest of the day," reads one of her allegations (via Us Weekly). On "Allegedly," Chmerkovskiy accused Solo of lying and said that her difficult past doesn't excuse her being "a bad person."
Ex Ariana Madix was in the mix for Tom Sandoval's game
For Bravo devotees, Scandoval was the premier scandal of 2023, not Donald Trump's indictment extravaganza or the revelations Prince Harry made about the royal family in "Spare." The short version of the story is this: "Vanderpump Rules" star Tom Sandoval cheated on his partner of almost a decade, Ariana Madix, with her good friend Rachel Leviss (and we're not talking about a one-time "mistake," either). What made the affair such a big deal for "VPR" viewers was the complicated history behind it and the depths of the betrayal. When describing how monumental he believed the scandal was to The New York Times Magazine, Sandoval compared it to the O.J. Simpson trial and the murder of George Floyd.
You'd think Sandoval would be nothing but apologetic whenever Madix comes up in interviews. However, instead of respectfully refusing to play when she was included in his "F***, Marry, Kill" options on the "Billie & The Kid Podcast," he said, "This is easy." His other choices were also "VPR" alums. He opted to kill Lala Kent because he hadn't known her as long as Madix and his third option, Scheana Shay. He initially said that he wouldn't marry Shay, explaining, "Her OCD would get me." But he later had second thoughts. "I would flip a coin on the Ariana and Scheana thing," he shared. Because who doesn't use a coin to decide on what is supposed to be a lifetime commitment?
What Britney Spears would do to Justin Bieber
when she appeared on the talk show "Loose Women" in 2016, Britney Spears played the less lustful, British version of "F***, Marry, Kill": "Snog, Marry, Avoid." Two of her options were celebs she's worked with before, fellow pop icon Madonna and Simon Cowell, who joined her at the judge's table on "The X Factor" in 2012. The third was Justin Bieber. Spears has done the quickie wedding thing before, so it wasn't a shocker that she jumped right to the "Marry" category and chose the Biebs as her groom. But just as she did after her spontaneous Sin City wedding, she had second thoughts and annulled that union. Earlier in the interview, Spears had admitted, "I like younger guys." However, she ultimately decided that Bieber was only worthy of a snog.
Spears has already done the whole wedding thing with Madonna and apparently does not want to do it again — she said that she wouldn't marry her "Me Against the Music" collaborator or Cowell. But back to the Biebs. In a 2022 Instagram post, Spears recalled meeting the pop star for the first time during her Femme Fatale Tour. He was 15 at the time. "You were adorable! ... you're a little devil now," she wrote. However, she also let the "Peaches" singer know that she's become a loyal Belieber, adding, "You're a timeless genius and I will always dance to your music."
Orlando Bloom's crush would kill him
While Marton Csokas' role in "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" was small, principal cast member Orlando Bloom had to be a teensy bit jealous of him. This is because Csokas got to play Celeborn, the husband of Cate Blanchett's Galadriel. When Blanchett and Bloom appeared together on "The Late Late Show" in 2018, Bloom confessed to his fellow flaxen-haired elf, "I had such a crush. Well, Legolas has a crush, and then I had the biggest crush on you." Blanchett admitted that she never noticed Bloom's mooning over her, and she revealed that she didn't recognize him when she first saw him without his blond wig. She did notice him at cast parties, however, divulging that she thought of him as a "really cute guy out of drama school." Bloom joked about what he was doing at those events, saying, "I was walking around spying on her from the corner of the room."
After that Middle Earth mush-fest, perhaps Blanchett regretted sending a Galadhrim arrow straight to Bloom's heart on "Watch What Happens Live" in 2015. Andy Cohen's "Shag, Marry, Kill" grouping for her was three members of the "LOTR" fellowship: Bloom, Elijah Wood, and Viggo Mortensen. Fellow guest Julie Andrews voiced her agreement with Mortensen being Blanchett's "Shag" pick, and Wood was the co-star she would marry. "It's not that I want to kill Orlando," Blanchett added, but he had to be sacrificed for the greater good.