Celebrities who can't stand the Olsen twins

Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen like to live in the shadows. Claiming to hate fame and all of its trappings, the twins slink in and out of fashion events dressed like two highly-caffeinated, high-couture Jawas: Concealing themselves in oversized sunglasses, floppy hats, foofy coats, and lumpen handbags — any of which can conceal one's face at a moment's notice. Nevertheless, the public's fascination with Mary-Kate and Ashley has only escalated since the '80s, with tabloids gleefully reporting their every breath, whether they're busy handing out white and black healing crystals during New York Fashion Week 2018, speaking soundlessly to one another through sophisticated hand signals, or giving May-December romances a good name (even if the tabloids refuse to follow suit).

Like so much witchy smoke emanating from one of their newly-minted, Wiccan-inspired, $395 minimalist cauldrons, speculation swirls as to whether they'll ever make a cameo on Netflix's Fuller House. Plenty of fans and (some) former cast-mates want these sophisticated sisters to come full circle and return to the franchise that made them famous. Meanwhile, many of their peers would prefer not to see them on TV — or anywhere else. Yup, more than a few famous folk actually have it in for these two.

From strained relations with former Full Housers (John Stamos allegedly has a vendetta against them) to soapy scandals involving socialites (Paris Hilton is a notable foe), here are the celebs who aren't at all impressed with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. In the immortal words of Michelle Tanner: "Aw, nuts!"

Huh? George R.R. Martin has it in for the Olsens

You wouldn't think Game of Thrones' master scribe George R.R. Martin would have an opinion about Mary-Kate and Ashley one way or another, as he'd be far too busy thinking about White Walkers, baby dragons, and the gruesome murder of monarchs. But you'd be wrong. Turns out the curmudgeonly Song of Ice and Fire author has a rather pronounced bone to pick with a particular set of fashionable fraternal twins formerly of Full House

This rather unbelievable beef stemmed from Martin's time working on CBS's Beauty and the Beast, a television show he helped script in the '80s. The bodice-ripping fantasy show was top in its time slot and really in a groove for its first season … but then a certain saccharine sitcom came out of nowhere and caused all sorts of trouble, effectively trouncing Beauty and the Beast in the ratings.

"This godamn thing became a hit," Martin groaned during a 2012 interview with the Toronto International Film Festival. "And suddenly, we were not winning our time slot anymore." That's when nervous network execs began interfering, which spelled the beginning of the end for Beauty and the Beast. "And that's why I've always hated the Olsen Twins and still do to this day," he puckishly revealed. 

We're surprised he never cast the Olsens in a Game of Thrones episode so he could orchestrate a brutal joust or beheading for his two nemeses. 

​Lindsay Lohan: Ashley, stay away from my GF!

While on some sort of epic bender in 2008, a certain Mean Girls star allegedly swilled down a soul-bending amount of Grey Goose and embarked on an atrocity tour of lower Manhattan, passing out in cars and terrorizing revelers at celeb hangout The Beatrice Inn. That night, it sounds like Lindsay Lohan set her bleary sights on a certainly Ashley Olsen, if reports from the New York Post are to be believed. 

As the lore goes, Ashley was merely saying hello to DJ Samantha Ronson, who happened to be dating Lohan at the time. LiLo was reportedly having none of it: "Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend!" she allegedly yelled, a readymade sound-bite that the tabloids subsequently pounced on. Can you blame them?

Apparently, some trickle-down animosity influenced sister Mary-Kate Olsen, who reportedly dissed Lindsay Lohan during a Fashion Week event in 2011. US Weekly reported that Olsen (and Dakota Fanning) did everything in their power to steer clear of Lohan, and Mary-Kate "flipped" when she wound up having to sit across from the Herbie Fully Loaded star. "She looked so upset about her seat and kept looking over at Lindsay," the source reported. 

Was Mary-Kate grudgingly musing over a certain notorious incident that befell her sister so many years before? The only people who know for sure are Mary-Kate, Ashley, and possibly God.

John Stamos wants them out of the house

Old beefs die hard. The Olsen Twins and John Stamos have a near-mythical feud that's spanned several decades, and it still provides plenty of juicy tabloid fodder to this day. In 2018, Radar Online gleefully reported that the 54-year-old actor had banned Mary-Kate and Ashley from his wedding, allegedly a petty revenge scheme to punish the sisters for passing up on Fuller House. According to an insider: "John says they're stuck-up and unappreciative. He didn't want them around for his special 'I do' moment." What's more, this all-knowing source alleged the Olsen twins thought Stamos was being "petty," and allegedly disparaged his decision to marry a "child bride"!

As far back as 1987, Stamos reportedly had a problem with the twins — because they were big ol' crybabies. Like, actual babies who cried a lot. Stamos owns up to it, too:  "It was very difficult to get the shot," he told People in 2015, so intense were the twins' guttural sobs and weepings. That's why he wanted both infants forcefully removed from the set and the show. "So I [said], 'Get them out!' That is actually 100 percent accurate." 

Even now, with the Olsens all grown-up, it sounds like the tension hasn't subsided. When the Olsen Twins alleged they had no idea Fuller House was happening, Stamos cried foul.

"I call bull***t," he wrote in a since-deleted tweet, according to TheWrap

Eminem turned them into sexy puppets

To our knowledge, the Olsen Twins have been name-checked in two rap songs: The first, Kanye West and Jay Z's "N****s In Paris", features the line "Prince William ain't do it right if you ask me / Cause I was him I would have married Kate and Ashley." The second, Eminem's 2005 single "A** Like That," bares the distinction of being one of his most annoying songs, since he impersonates Triumph the Insult Comic Dog throughout. Eminem makes his contempt for various female celebs clear by rating them based on a certain part of their anatomy: Jessica Simpson "looks oh-so tempting." He wants Gwen Stefani to "pee pee" on him. Britney Spears has "shoulders like a man." And the Olsen Twins get a few shoutouts, too: "Mary-Kate and Ashley used to be so wholesome / Now they're getting older / They're starting to grow bum bums." Later on in the song, Eminem bemoans, "I did not even get to see Mary-Kate's shower scene." 

Though the lyrics seem innocuous (albeit boneheaded) enough, the video makes Eminem's sentiment all the more corrosive by turning Mary-Kate and Ashley into hateful-looking puppets who seem to be having some sort of soapy Sapphic tryst in the shower.

Their inclusion led to a mini-scandal in which various publications asked Eminem about the miserable-looking puppets. A spokesperson would only tell The Scoop (via Today): "They're puppets. People should also be concerned because there's supposedly a puppet monster out there that eats nothing but cookies." 

​Celebrity stylist Lysa Cooper: The Olsen Twins don't cut it

By the sound of it, Lysa Cooper is that rare celebrity stylist who doesn't like celebrities. Or celebrity style, for that matter. 

In a 2013 Fashionista profile, she's quoted as saying: "The one good thing [Rihanna] had was [hairstylist] Ursula Stephen, who I knew." She also really has it in for celebrity clothing lines, which she indelicately calls "bull***t" before offering celeb designers a little bit of career advice: "Go to school." 

She really goes after the Olsen Twins' fashion line The Row, giving Mary-Kate and Ashley the ultimate backhanded compliment: "The only [celebrity line] that's any good … are our girls." But that's only because they reportedly hire other designers to do all the actual work: "They are the best line at ripping off other lines that I have ever seen."

That's pretty brutal, but on the other hand, Cooper sounds like an unusually tough customer. Elsewhere in the piece, she insults the entire Internet: It's why "everybody looks like a hooker." The only thing she does like? The way homeless people dress. "There's a new trend in the homeless," she says, "where you tie everything around your waist." 

We wonder if Mary-Kate and Ashley agree.

​Gilbert Gottfried thinks they're even more insufferable than he is

"I lived near the Olsen Twins' office. I never saw them. Maybe they were standing behind a light pole."

That's a 2017 tweet from insurmountably obnoxious comedian Gilbert Gottfried, and it's pretty much his only joke about the Olsen Twins that we can safely print here. Gottfried was one of the raunchier participants at the Roast of Bob Saget in 2008, which by all accounts was an unusually filthy affair, even by roast standards (which are low). The general consensus is that one of Gottfried's jokes went way too far. Without putting too fine a point on it, his joke involved Mary-Kate and Ashley heading into a bar, Bob Saget, a particular part of the anatomy, a non-consensual sex act, and a roofied chocolate milk. 

Sagat was appalled at the joke  (which never aired), telling the New York Post that all these potty-mouth comedians need to chill out on all the Olsen-bashing: "Anybody who talks about my TV kids — that upsets me the most," he fumed. "I am very protective. I love them very, very much."

Gottfried, on the other hand, felt no remorse and refused to apologize. "If you're an Olsen girl, you deserve it," he blithely told the Post. "They're going to just have to go home and cry in their billions of dollars."

​Ingrid Newkirk thinks they're both animals

When she dies, PETA President Ingrid Newkirk plans to send her liver to France to protest pâté. Until then, she'll happily spend her days trolling celebrities who insist on wearing and promoting fur, and the Olsen Twins are absolutely no exception. 

In 2007, Newkirk decided Mary-Kate and Ashley's penchant for fur was such a disgraceful display of inhumanity that she devoted an entire website to excoriating them. An offshoot site by PETA — which is still active as of this writing — introduced the world to "The Trollsen Twins", Hairy-Kate and Trashley. The website let shellshocked visitors venture into the "Full House of Horrors", Dress Up The Trollsens, or even buy "Trollsen Twins" merch (sadly no longer an option on the site, so no Trollsen Twin tank top for you). The page also refers to their fashion line as "Death Row," which shouldn't really surprise anyone.

To show she meant business, Newkirk promoted a line of free Trollsen Halloween masks the following year. We wonder if Mary-Kate and Ashley thought they were cute and wore them to trick-or-treat in 2008, albeit in matching $17,000 patchwork fur backpacks.

Spencer Pratt: The never-ending feud

Here's a surefire way to tell someone hates you: They brag to Details about the time they sold an embarrassing photo of you to the tabloids for $50,000. According to People, that's one notch on Spencer Pratt's bedpost that he's particularly proud of. 

That might be why Mary-Kate had nary a kind word to say about Pratt during her 2008 appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman. When the conversation turned to the former Hills star, Letterman called him a "worm" and commented on how oily Pratt manages to be for someone so young. Letterman then asked Mary-Kate if she has any insights into his complexion, and she deadpanned: "It's a mystery to me." 

The next morning, Pratt was far from pleased to have had his alleged oiliness mocked on national television in front of all of his enemies. In retaliation, he told Us Weekly (via Fox News), "I know I've made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman." Then he goes right for the jugular, as is his wont:  "I forgive her, though … She's had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough."

Anyone else in dire need of a Silkwood shower?

Lori Loughlin: The twins "don't care" about their Full House family

In 2015, word got out that Netflix was resurrecting that fetid chunk of '80s cheese known as Full House for another go. Most former cast-mates were quick to sign on to the project and chirpily sang the show's praises. But sources told Radar Online that Fuller House was marred from the start by lots of behind-the-scenes drama and plenty of dysfunction. The main source of all the unhappiness? A lot of it reportedly had to do with Mary-Kate and Ashley, who had yet to confirm whether or not they'd be returning to the show. (They wouldn't.)

"Mary-Kate and Ashley are the only ones out of that entire cast that don't talk regularly," whispered the pot-stirring source. "The rest of them have remained a family since the show ended, but no one can really tolerate Mary-Kate or Ashley." 

In an interview with Access Online, Lori Loughlin (who played Aunt Becky) said, "It doesn't matter how much money they get paid. They don't care. I honestly don't know if they want to do it." Meanwhile, a source told Radar Online that the Olsens flat-out told producers they wouldn't return to the show because it wouldn't be good for their image. Nevertheless, "no one really wants them to come back," the source revealed. (They didn't.)

Paris Hilton: What a tangled, privileged web they weave

In Fall 2006, Mary-Kate was a sophomore at NYU and beginning to adjust to the madness of New York life when something terrible happened: Paris Hilton. Without warning, the hotel heiress reportedly snatched up Mary-Kate's boyfriend, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos III, who'd been dating Olsen for five months. Mary-Kate did not take the drama lightly: In fact, she promptly moved back to LA. 

When W Magazine asked if there was any inciting incident, Mary-Kate responded, "I think we can all guess." Though she wasn't altogether keen to talk about Hilton, she admitted she introduced the Simple Life star to Niarchos, but never, ever suspected something like this would ever happen: "[Paris and I] always only had nice things to say about each other," Mary-Kate said. "Now I guess you can tell we're not talking."

But by 2007, the tabloids were in a frenzy: Stavros and Mary-Kate were allegedly back together, and it was Paris's turn to be furious.

"She thinks MK was publicly hooking up with Stavros just to piss her off," according to Life & Style (via PopCrunch). Meanwhile, a source told Star that Mary-Kate "doesn't understand why Paris is always picking on her." 

We don't pretend to know any of the machinations within this intricate love triangle, but one thing is clear: Paris Hilton is not Mary-Kate's friend.

Their greatest celebrity beef may be with each other

These days, they seem to be getting along in their fashionably scraggly way, but way back when, tabloids constantly kept tabs on on the twins, claiming their relationship was in peril. Apparently when the Olsen twins fight, they fight about opulent riches and well-appointed condos. At least, that's what a source told The National Enquirer (via Today) in 2008: The sisters "wrestle for control," the insider said, "and even though they love each other, money causes them to argue." 

Another supposed point of contention: their New York condo. "They argued over it extensively. … And then when Mary-Kate finally gave in and agreed to put it up for sale, they argued over the price!"

Sounds pretty harrowing, but it doesn't hold a candle to stories about their interpersonal conflicts, if Star (via Today) can be believed. A source told the tab that Ashley "can't stand" MK, adding that "she can't deal with all her issues and scary mood swings." 

Apparently, Mary-Kate is no walk in the park to be around "even for her sister." But what really rankled Ashley? Allegedly, it's her twin sister's "tiny dictator" demeanor: "She knows she's incredibly famous, and she knows that's a weapon she can use to get what she wants."

And here we thought they only argued over who was The Cute One.