The Most Painful Revelations From Jinger Duggar's New Book

The following article includes references to disordered eating, child sex abuse images, and allegations of sexual assault and religious abuse.

Viewers first met Jinger Duggar's ever-expanding family when they appeared in the 2004 television special "14 Children and Pregnant Again!" Parents Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar kept reproducing, and a series of specials eventually evolved into the long-running TLC series "19 Kids and Counting."

In their 2011 book "A Love That Multiplies," Michelle and Jim Bob revealed that their kids weren't allowed to watch television, despite appearing on a reality show, and Michelle explained why she homeschooled them, writing, "I felt the Lord impressing upon me the importance of getting His Word into my children's hearts and minds." Despite her sheltered upbringing, Jinger would co-author her own book as a teenager: "Growing Up Duggar." In it, Jinger and three of her sisters — Jana Duggar, Jill Duggar, and Jessa Duggar — parroted some of the teachings passed onto them by their parents, who were members of the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), a Christian organization founded by Bill Gothard. The Duggar sisters shared the rules of their modest dress code, which forbade them from showing their shoulders, and they preached about the dangers of listening to that ol' evangelical bogeyman: rock music.

In 2023, Jinger released another book titled "Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear." She told BuzzFeed News that one reason she wrote it is because she regrets some of teachings she promoted in "Growing Up Duggar." She also delves into the darker side of growing up Duggar that TLC viewers didn't get to see. These are the most painful revelations from Jinger Duggar's new book.

In 2021, Jinger Duggar and Jeremy Vuolo co-authored "The Hope We Hold: Finding Peace in the Promises of God." In the book, Jinger recalls her wide-eyed excitement over watching her family's first documentary "14 Children and Pregnant Again!" on DVD. "I grinned so hard my cheeks hurt," she writes. The entire family was pleased with the end results, but Jinger couldn't have predicted that it was the start of a rocky 14-year reality career.

In 2015, TLC canceled the Duggars' series "19 Kids and Counting" after InTouch published police reports detailing how Jinger's oldest brother, Josh Duggar, had allegedly molested some of his younger sisters when he was a minor. The show was quickly replaced with the Josh-free spinoff "Counting On," but TLC decided against keeping any of the Duggars on TV after Josh was indicted for receiving child sexual abuse material in 2021, per USA Today. 

At the time, Jinger published an Instagram post saying that she supported TLC's decision to end the show, but in "Becoming Free Indeed," she confesses that she cried when it was canceled. "So many emotions poured out of me that day. I felt sad," Jinger recalls. "Filming had been a constant in my life since I was around ten years old." In a January 2023 interview with The List, she further explained that the series' crew members had basically become part of the family, which made the cancellation even harder.

If you or someone you know may be the victim of child abuse, please contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453) or contact their live chat services.

If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

Jinger Duggar reflects back on some of the more harmful teachings of the IBLP and Bill Gothard in "Becoming Free Indeed," including the reason girls are told to wear modest apparel. "If someone struggled with impure thoughts because of something I wore, then I bore some responsibility for that person's sin," Jinger writes. 

Her own mother, Michelle Duggar, admitted that she was responsible for instilling this belief in her daughters from childhood. In a 2013 TLC Parentables post, Michelle revealed that she encouraged them rock shirts with high necklines and skirts with long hemlines to avoid "defrauding" potential sinners. "My kids are taught the definition of defrauding as stirring up desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled," she wrote. Michelle also told PopSugar that she felt guilty about wearing a bikini to do yardwork during her pre-IBLP days, saying, "[I] had no idea what I was doing to my neighbor's husband across the street."

After rejecting the IBLP's teachings, Jinger saw the dangerous flaw in this line of thinking. "That logic shifts blame away from the individual committing the sin," she writes in her memoir. "In extreme circumstances, it can put blame on the victims of assault instead of the abusers." According to Jinger, Gothard allegedly did subscribe to victim-blaming ideologies. Recovery Grace has even shared IBLP materials blaming young girls for their own molestation by their brother, suggesting that he targeted them because they weren't covered up enough.

If you or someone you know is dealing with spiritual abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

Once upon a time, the Duggars actually invited fans into their home, and one guest managed to snatch Jinger Duggar's diary. The family learned of the theft when someone informed that they saw it on eBay, where it was priced at $100,000. After realizing what happened, the Duggars seemed to basically shame the sticky-fingered fan into returning it. "The experience provided good lessons to teach the children: first, that we can't trust everybody, and second, that we need to forgive others even before they ask," Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar write in "A Love That Multiplies." 

But Jinger's parents were the ones inviting strangers over constantly, and in "The Hope We Hold," Jinger reveals that she even had to vacate her bed so that some of their random house guests had somewhere to sleep. Meanwhile, in "Becoming Free Indeed," Jinger shares the sad reason why she wasn't worried about any bed-borrowing book bandits discovering salacious secrets in her journal. While thumbing back through its pages years later, she realized that she was so insecure about who she really was underneath her smiling television façade that even her diary became performative. 

"I'm struck by what is missing. I was afraid to say the wrong thing — to confess my inner desires even in a diary," Jinger writes. "I didn't express any of the feelings and fears that were a constant part of my childhood."

In an appearance on the "Relatable" podcast, Jinger Duggar explained why she lived at home with her parents well into adulthood. Bill Gothard apparently taught his followers that there's a patriarchal household hierarchy called "the umbrella of authority." God is at the top, husbands are underneath him, wives must submit to their husbands, per Salon, and kids get the short end of the umbrella crook. "If you come out from under their authority by moving out of the home, by getting a job, then you're opening yourself up to Satan's attacks because you don't have an umbrella," Duggar said. "That's what I believed wholeheartedly, and that's why I stayed."

When she married Jeremy Vuolo, Duggar finally got to leave the nest. The couple initially settled in Laredo, Texas, where the "Counting On" cameras filmed them trying on sombreros and buying Mexican candy. The move was a massive culture shock for Duggar, who had lived in Arkansas her entire life. In "Becoming Free Indeed," she details her struggle to make meaningful connections with people outside her family. Her anxiety and worry over the way others perceived her didn't help, and she even burst into tears while trying to converse with a member of her church. 

"The pressure of figuring out what to say, combined with the fear of saying the wrong thing, became overwhelming," she writes. "... Moments like that almost didn't feel real. They were more like out-of-body experiences."

If you or someone you know is dealing with spiritual abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

On the "Relatable" podcast, Jinger Duggar recalled how her father, Jim Bob Duggar, made Jeremy Vuolo watch over 60 hours of Bill Gothard's seminars before he could get engaged to Jinger. Unfortunately for her pops, Jinger says that this is when she started questioning Gothard's teachings. She watched them along with Vuolo, and he would stop and point out flaws in the religious leader's legalistic views. Soon, Jinger was viewing a man she once revered in a much different light. "I can't say like, 'Oh, it was a cult,'" she said of Gothard's ministry, "but I can say very cult-like in nature."

In "Becoming Free Indeed," Jinger also mentions Gothard's sexual abuse scandal. He resigned from the IBLP in 2014 after multiple former members accused him of sexual harassment, per Chicago magazine. Some of the victims alleged that they were underage when Gothard took advantage of his leadership position to prey upon them. In a lawsuit that a group of the women filed against Gothard, the plaintiffs wrote, "It was common for people to joke about [his] 'harem.'"

According to Jinger, she and her sisters had a different name for these young women: "Gothard's Girls." In her book, she recalls having a laugh over putting on a blonde wig and pretending to be one of the girls recruited to join Gothard's staff. "Now, after everything that's happened over the past ten years, I realize the joke wasn't funny," she writes.

If you or someone you know is dealing with spiritual abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

Jinger Duggar opens "Becoming Free Indeed" by pointing out how difficult it can be for someone to cut ties with a community that managed to infiltrate almost every aspect of their life. But that's exactly what she decided to do by rejecting the religious principles that would remain important to many of her family members and friends. For Duggar, leaving the IBLP also meant potentially losing friends. 

"I may not be invited to events and into homes. Some may not appreciate that I'm speaking out on this topic," she writes. "Others could assume the worst of my motives." Speaking to The List, Duggar confessed that she was reticent about sharing her story because she feared the inevitable backlash. "As I was writing the book, there were many days where I would just cry. I was like, 'Is this worth it? Is this what I'm supposed to do?'" she said. Knowing that there were others who had weathered similar storms gave her the courage to push on, as did knowing that her story might help readers.

Duggar also spoke to ET about how her family members reacted to her book, revealing that there was a divide between those who had joined her in leaving the IBLP and those who had not. "Some were more excited for me to share this story, while others may agree to disagree because they have their own opinions," she said.