Royal family members who are poorer than you thought

Trust us. We fully understand how using the word "poorer" in an article about the royal family might cause the English language to collapse on itself and cause a rift in space-time, but think of it as more of a relative term. The royal family: They're not just like us. Whew, glad we got that out of the way. There are the names you know and the names you don't. From the wannabe model and the freelance writer to the Harry Potter film crew member and the Olympic medalist, we're going to take a not-so bejeweled carriage ride with some royal family members who get by with regular jobs.

And if that doesn't fully satisfy your craving for all things royal, we'll also take a look at the rumored wealth of top-ranking members of the family to bring that whole "relative" thing we discussed full circle. Now, pour yourself a spot of tea and pop that pinky out because you're about to feel real fancy.

Lady Amelia Windsor

Labeled by some as "the most beautiful member of the royal family," Lady Amelia Windsor is the great-niece of Prince Charles and 37th in line to the throne. An Instagram famous royal, Windsor wants to become a model, and that appears to be working out for her. Lady Amelia has modeled for Dolce & Gabbana, appeared in Tatler, and was featured in Harper's BazaarVogue says she possesses the "picture-perfect pout." 

When discussing her future plans, Lady Amelia told the fashion magazine, "I would love to make a contribution to any aspect behind the creative process." She added, "On my year abroad I want to really further my understanding of every aspect of a fashion house: from the making of the fabrics to the production of a catwalk show." Wait, does this make Lady Amelia the British version of Kendall Jenner? Wait, did we infer that Kendall Jenner is American royalty? Please strike that from the official record. 

Lord Frederick Windsor

His friends call him Freddie. The royals named him Lord Frederick Windsor, only son of Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, and 47th in line to the throne. A tabloid sensation in the early-2000s for his partying lifestyle and his "junkie" reputation, Windsor reportedly threw a lavish party in Kensington Palace at the same time mourners were paying their final respects to the queen mother. Not a good look. "If Freddie Windsor had any decency he would leave the country," Labour MP Stephen Pound said at the time. 

Fortunately, the lord seems to have found a way to turn it around and even got married in 2009. "He worked briefly as a fashion model for a Burberry campaign," reported Royal Central. "Lord Frederick also tried his hand as a music journalist for Tatler magazine and had planned to become a solicitor in entertainment law. He began working as an analyst at the investment bank JPMorgan in London in 2006." That's lovely, but considering that stunt he pulled following her mother's death, we assume Queen Elizabeth II doesn't send him birthday cards with money in them. 

Lady Gabriella Windsor

Lady Gabriella Marina Alexandra Ophelia Windsor is the daughter of Prince and Princess Michael of Kent and sister of Lord Frederick Windsor. It seems partying runs deep in this specific branch of the royal family tree. In May 2018, journalist Aatish Taseer wrote a piece for Vanity Fair detailing his former romance with Lady Gabriella. Claiming they "swam naked in the Queen's pool in Buckingham Palace" and "did MDMA in Windsor Castle," Taseer's revelations caused a bit of outrage with the British press. Her parents' official statement? "There won't be any comment on the story." Well, that settles that. 

Why do we bring this up? Lady Gabriella is also a freelance writer. "Her work has appeared in several outlets including the Sunday Telegraph, the Evening StandardCountry Life, The Spectator, and the Spanish version of Hello!," according to Town & Country magazine. Perhaps she's working on her rebuttal as we speak. 

Lady Rose Gilman

Born Lady Rose Windsor, 12th in line to the throne, Lady Rose Gilman is now 32nd in line due to a steady stream of royal babies. Bummer. She married property developer Peter Gilman in 2008, but she apparently wasn't content to sit back and watch property develop or to hit up her dad for cash. Working under the name Rose Windsor, the cousin of Queen Elizabeth II has been working in the film industry since 2005. 

Starting in the art department on the TV series Little Britain, Gilman went on to work on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix as an art department assistant and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince as the assistant production buyer. She was also the assistant set dresser on Margaret Thatcher: The Long Walk to Finchley. Solid gigs. We wonder if she's union. Kudos to this lady for forging a path in a business not known to count royalty among its members. 

Meghan Markle

We know, we know. Try not to clutch your pearls over the inclusion of Meghan Markle. Her financial portfolio will change as she settles into the role of Duchess of Sussex. Her Prince Charming is 6th in line to the throne — single digits! — but on her own, Markle's film and television career didn't exactly rake in the big bucks. InStyle estimated her net worth at only about $5 million before the royal wedding. She's included here because, well, fairy tale romances don't mean much to the IRS. 

If Markle decides to become a US-UK citizen, Harry will have a new uncle named Sam. "Markle's American citizenship could open up the secretive finances of the royal family to outside scrutiny," The Washington Post reported. "If she remains a U.S. citizen, Markle will have to file her taxes to the IRS every year. And if she has more than $300,000 in assets at any point during the tax year … she will be expected to annually file a document called Form 8938 that will reveal the detail of these assets, which could include foreign trusts."

We don't foresee Harry and Markle opening up a joint bank account anytime soon. 

A pause for the royal family

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to fill you in on the net worth of the other single-digit members of the royal family. This will give you some context. Ready? Here we go!

According to Business Insider, it pays to be directly related to the queen of the United Kingdom and the other Commonwealth realms. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, reportedly receives $442,000 per year just by having "prince" in front of his name and is supposedly sitting on $30 million. Prince William and Prince Harry are worth about $40 million each. The brothers "gathered most of their wealth on their 30th birthdays through an inheritance." 

Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, holds a net worth of $10 million (She has wealthy parents). Prince George and Princess Charlotte don't even know how to count this high yet, but they're reportedly already worth $3.6 billion and $5 billion, respectively. Yes, that's a "B" at the front of that "illion." Even though Charlotte is younger than her brother, she supposedly rakes in substantially more "due to her fashion influence." In fact, she may have already defeated the patriarchy. Her grandfather, Prince Charles, is first in line to the throne yet only worth a meager $100 million.

What about Queen Elizabeth II? Hold your royal horses. We'll get to her in a minute.

Zara Tindall

Zara Anne Elizabeth Tindall, 17th in line to the throne, is the only daughter of Princess Anne and the second-eldest grandchild of Queen Elizabeth II. Guys, Tindall is fantastic at riding horses. She won a silver medal at the 2012 Olympic Games in London, becoming the first royal to medal. Her mother, who competed at the 1976 Olympic Games in Montreal as a member of the British Equestrian team, presented Tindall with her medal. Man, this family is super into horses. 

"We wanted the gold but to get an Olympic medal is incredible anyway …  when you get one of these put round your neck you realize everything was worth it," Tindall told the Telegraph

Tindall doesn't have a job in the strictest sense of the word, but riding horses does take up a lot of time. She's also married to a former rugby player, so Tindall seems like an all-around boss. 

Peter Phillips

Described as the queen's "favorite grandson," Peter Phillips is the only son of Princess Anne and the oldest grandchild of the queen. Fifth in the order of succession at the time of his birth in 1977, Phillips now sits at 14th. So what does it mean to be the queen's favorite? Come on, we think you know. Inheritance, anyone?

"Peter is not what's known as a 'working royal,'" Town & Country reported. "He's held positions at Jaguar, Williams F1 racing team, the Royal Bank of Scotland, and most recently SEL UK."

In 2016, he helped throw "the country's largest street party, to celebrate a much overlooked area of the Queen's record-breaking reign: her patronage of more than 600 charities and organisations across the United Kingdom and Commonwealth." Phillips said throwing parties is "what we do best," even if the "logistical headaches…have been many."

So that's the kind of thing Phillips does for work.  

Princess Beatrice

Probably best known in America for slicing open Ed Sheeran's face with a ceremonial sword while pretending to knight James Blunt, Princess Beatrice of York is the oldest daughter of Prince Andrew and currently sits 8th in line to the throne. Can we talk about how she almost beheaded Ed Sheeran to liven up a party again? No? Okay, moving on. What Princess Beatrice does professionally remains unclear, because after leaving her fourth job in five years in 2016, she became a "business matchmaker." 

Per the Telegraph, her first client was artificial intelligence startup Afiniti. Princess Beatrice "accompanied Afiniti's founder, Zia Chishti, and his entourage to meetings and parties at the World Economic Forum in Davos." According to the Daily Beast, one royal adviser had "no idea" how that business model works. We'll leave this mystery for another time, or we'll go ahead and deduce that Beatrice is simply having fun living her best life. 

Princess Eugenie

Princess Eugenie of York is the youngest daughter of Prince Andrew and 9th in line to the throne — one spot below the business matchmaker riding shotgun in this photo. After earning English literature and history of art degrees from Newcastle University in 2012, Princess Eugenie moved to New York City and got a job at the art auction site Paddle8. The most significant news of her time in the Big Apple was that she walked to work every day. Very relatable.

In 2015, she returned to London and became an associate art director at the contemporary art gallery Hauser & Wirth. Two years later, she became its director. "Eugenie is working hard and doing a good job, the promotion is well deserved," a source told the Daily Mail (per Hello!). 

"I've loved art since I was very little. I knew I definitely wouldn't be a painter, but I knew this was the industry for me," she told the Independent in 2016. 

We don't know about you, but we think Disney might have lied to us about its whole prince and princess gig. College? Jobs? Walt didn't mention any of those things. 

Queen Elizabeth II

Depending on the source, Queen Elizabeth II's net worth is either $495 million, $530 million, or $550 million. She also has "private collections of art, furniture, jewels and horses" rumored to be worth $110 million. The majority of her cash flow comes from the taxpayer-funded Sovereign Grant, which netted her $48.9 million in 2015 (she received an 8 percent increase in 2017.) 

In 2012, Parliament took a closer look at where that money goes and discovered the monarchy was making it rain — to the point of causing droughts. ABC News reported that "overspending had whittled down the royal Reserve Fund to 1 million pounds at the end of [2013.]" 

So where does the money go? How about a $500 million Buckingham Palace refurbishment project? Or an electrical bill that's more than 2,200 times the UK average? Don't forget that $1.89 million grocery bill. Bottom line: even a family as rich as the royal one still has to revamp its budget now and then.

The consensus to justify this exorbitant spending: The royal family is "great for tourism," especially if somebody gets married or has a baby, so Meghan Markle may have been welcomed by her new family members tapping their watches. We have to admit, a tiny Harry-Meghan would be absolutely adorable.