Why Taylor Swift And Tom Hiddleston Are Doomed

Actor Tom Hiddleston and songstress Taylor Swift are making their relationship known to anyone with a paparazzo's lens. Unfortunately, these two probably won't go the distance. Here's why.

They may be a product of cheating

While most reports insist that nothing untoward happened while Calvin Harris and Swift were still together, Radar Online hints that Swift may have had Hiddleston waiting in the wings until she got the nerve to dump the Scottish DJ—which can be indicative of an emotional affair. That's never the best foundation for a new relationship, and the New York Daily News reports that the very same scenario may have infected Swift and Harris' love story. The tabloid claims Harris "confessed to a pal that he was cheating on model Aarika Wolf with [Swift]" before shaking off that relationship to pursue his 15-month romance with Tay.

Rebound relationships usually don't last

Swift moved on from Harris very swiftly, and Harris reportedly isn't happy about it. E! News says Harris (or someone doing a great job posing as him) dissed her on Instagram, writing, "She controlled the media and this situation, I had no idea what was going on. So that kind of makes it a lot worse from my perspective." Considering how much PDA she's showing with Hiddleston, Swift may be trying to send a spiteful message to her ex, who E! reports "was not giving her what she wanted for some time." Instead of taking some time to reflect and regroup, Swift immediately began dating someone else without pausing to process her feelings about the last relationship. That doesn't bode well for this new fling.

They're moving too quickly

Swift and Hiddleston met at the Met Gala in May 2016, when Swift was still reportedly dating Harris. Two weeks later, she and Harris confirmed their breakup. About 10 days later, she was making out with Hiddleston at the beach in full view of photographers. Less than a week after that, the Daily Mail reports they met one another's parents, with Hiddleston taking Swift's jet to Nashville to see her family, then the couple jetting back across the pond to hit the beach with his mom. To reiterate, these two have been dating for about two weeks. Typically, romances that ignite this fast have short fuses.

She's using him to deflect attention

Swift and Hiddleston went viral when their painfully white dance moves at the Met Gala were immortalized on video. Since then, cameras have caught them everywhere: nestled on the beach near Swift's Rhode Island mansion, bopping about Swift's Nashville neighborhood, visiting Hiddleston's family estate in England. Swift's smug smiles in many of the shots indicate that the attention is something she's more than comfortable with—and perhaps even something she planned.

She could be using Hiddleston to alter the usual narrative that follows her breakups: Instead of "Swift got clingy; Swift got dumped; Swift is crazy; Swift is probably crying and writing a song right now," the new story suggests "Swift actually did the dumping; Swift moved on quickly; Swift swept another man off his feet."

Aside from controlling the media's speculation about her love life, Swift may also be using Hiddleston to distract the press from her controversy with power couple Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. West's "Famous" video includes a nude woman who looks a lot like Swift along with the lines, "I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex. Why? I made that bitch famous." Swift's camp says she did not know West was going to rap about her, but Kardashian told GQ that Swift knew about the lyric and approved it in advance. Mrs. West said she even has recorded proof of Swift's two-timing—a claim that attracted a lot of attention, until the Hiddleston make out session hit the press. Is Swift's uncharacteristically public romance a media bate and switch? Sure, it could all be a coincidence, but the "Bad Blood" superstar certainly knows how to play the game.

He's using her for fame

Hiddleston has never had this much paparazzi attention before, but he seems to be enjoying it. Though the British thespian starred in high-profile superhero flicks Thor (2011) and The Avengers (2012), Hiddleston lacks the stateside household-name status of Marvel peers Chris Hemsworth, Robert Downey Jr., and Chris Evans. The sudden spotlight resulting from his relationship with Swift has already led many to believe that Hiddleston is using the singer to raise his profile on this side of the pond, especially as he guns for the role of James Bond.

All that press attention will hurt them

By playing out their budding relationship in the public eye, Swift and Hiddleston are leaving very little of their private lives private, subjecting themselves to media speculation about everything. Swift is notoriously image-conscious, but that only works if it's subtle, and this romance is anything but. Considering the backlash the "Love Story" crooner is already facing from numerous outlets for what looks like a shameless publicity stunt, don't be surprised if she slams on the brakes and kicks him to the curb soon.

Taylor Swift still thinks romcoms are real

Sources told Us Weekly, "Taylor is so happy. She's living a British romcom dream." That's great, except for the fact that real life isn't a British fairy tale. She's tried the exact same thing before with poor results. Remember Harry Styles? How about Douglas Booth? Her Anglophilia is so extreme that multiple sources claim she's obsessed with the idea of having a British boyfriend...any British boyfriend, regardless of whether or not it's a bloke with whom she's actually compatible.

They're in different stages of their lives

Hiddleston is 35. Swift is 26. Nine years isn't much as one matures, but this particular gap can be a death knell for relationships. Swift seems happy prancing around with her carefully assembled (and generally younger) squad. "She felt like she was a little school girl with a huge crush," an insider told E! News. "She loves the fact that Tom acts like such a mature man. She loves that he is older. She feels very safe and protected with him." That's lovely, but Hiddleston may be looking for someone with whom he can settle down and start a family. Considering 1989 was so huge, Swift's fame is at an all-time high, and she may not be willing to shift gears just yet, even if she's all about it at the moment.

Their schedules may clash

Swift has a lot of downtime now that her 1989 tour is finished, but chances are that flexibility won't last. She previously told NME in October 2015, "I think I should take some time off. I think people might need a break from me. I'm going to...I don't know. Hang out with my friends. Write new music. Maybe not write new music." Swift hasn't actually taken much of a break, considering she keeps inserting herself in the public eye with her Vogue cover, Met Gala posturing, and constant awards show appearances and speeches. What's more, seeing as her breakups inspire 90 percent of her songs, her split from Harris may catalyze her to write new music and hit the studio sooner than expected.

Meanwhile, Hiddleston has a very busy schedule approaching. He's slated to film Thor: Ragnarok (2017) in Australia starting in July 2016. It seems like he and Swift are trying to cram in as much time as possible before he leaves for the Land Down Under, and the spark may fizzle once they're not in constant contact.

Their fanbases will tear them apart

Tumblr named Swift and Hiddleston's coupledom "Swiddles," which is pretty adorable. Unfortunately, not all their fans are on board with the pairing, and considering both bases are rabid, it could hurt them. Swift panders to her Swifties, often lurking her own Tumblr tag and liking posts about herself. Hiddleston actually had to scale back on his own fan interactions when some overzealous "Hiddlestans" got a little nuts on the press tour for Crimson Peak (2015), diplomatically telling The Guardian, "[It's] an odd experience. But I won't be the first person to have thought that. I'm only in control of my own integrity. I'm accountable for everything I've done and I understand that. Everything else is out of my control." Translation: "I wish my fans would have a little more integrity and stop stalking me and harassing women with whom I'm photographed."