Patton Oswalt Writes Heartbreaking Note About Wife's Death

Comedian and actor Patton Oswalt took to Facebook on Aug. 1, 2016, to discuss the grieving process following the sudden and tragic death of his wife, Michelle McNamara.

"Thanks, grief," the post began. "Thanks for making depression look like the buzzing little bully it always was. Depression is the tallest kid in the 4th grade, dinging rubber bands off the back of your head and feeling safe on the playground, knowing that no teacher is coming to help you."

"But grief?" He continued. "Grief is Jason Statham holding that 4th grade bully's head in a toilet and then f****** the teacher you've got a crush on in front of the class."

The post was written 102 days after McNamara died unexpectedly in her sleep on April 21, 2016. "102 days at the mercy of grief and loss feels like 102 years and you have s*** to show for it," Oswalt wrote. "You will not be physically healthier. You will not feel 'wiser.' You will not have 'closure.' You will not have 'perspective' or 'resilience' or 'a new sense of self.' You WILL have solid knowledge of fear, exhaustion and a new appreciation for the randomness and horror of the universe. And you'll also realize that 102 days is nothing but a warm-up for things to come."

"I was face-down and frozen for weeks," he added later. "It's 102 days later and I can confidently say I have reached a point where I'm crawling. Which, objectively, is an improvement. Maybe 102 days later I'll be walking."

Oswalt—who has a 7-year-old daughter, Alice, with McNamara—wrote that "any spare energy [he's] managed to summon since April 21st" has gone toward finishing a book that McNamara was writing about a serial killer in California. "And I'm going to start telling jokes again soon," he continued. "And writing. And acting in stuff and making things I like and working with friends on projects and do all the stuff I was always so privileged to get to do before the air caught fire around me and the sun died. It's all I knew how to do before I met Michelle. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do now without her."

Oswalt has been outspoken about the pain he's suffered since losing his wife. In May 2016, he penned a moving piece for Time magazine. "The reaction to her passing, the people who are shocked at her senseless absence, is a testament to how she steered her life with joyous, wicked curiosity," Oswalt wrote. "Cops and comedians call—speechless or sending curt regards. Her family is devastated but can't help remember all of the times she made them laugh or comforted them, and they smile and laugh themselves. She hasn't left a void. She's left a blast crater."