These Popular YouTubers Are The Worst

Andy Warhol once said, "In the future everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes," and much to the misfortune of everyone who uses the Internet, that prophecy has come true. With the aid of YouTube, any idiot with a smartphone can instantly broadcast their talentless antics to the world, no matter how pointless, harmful, or unfunny. Hordes of imitators flock to mimic the newest viral videos, and a few very special morons happened to catch on with their imbecile brethren. Here are a few that are truly the worst.

Sam Pepper

Pepper, the little prince of punchable faces, currently boasts 2.3 million subscribers, in spite of the fact that at least six women have accused him of sexual assault. Allegations arose when Pepper posted a video called "Fake Hand Ass Pinch Prank," in which he groped women for fun. When his audience became outraged, Pepper claimed that all of the assaulted women were actors, despite the fact that previous "prank" videos exhibited the same abusive behavior. Fortunately Pepper was dropped from his YouTube network and banned from VidCon for being a tool.

Pomplamoose

There's plenty of good that YouTube indie band Pomplamoose has brought into the world, including Jack Conte's crowdfunding platform Patreon, but a blog post by Conte on how expensive it is to be a musician raised Internet hackles. The band reported a $12,000 loss on a month-long tour, but the details of their spending were regarded by many as decadent. Despite the band's wildly successful Patreon campaign, Nataly Dawn's blank stare continues to shed a tear for the band's apparently irreversible money hemorrhage.

Shane Dawson

Dawson is living proof that 7 million people can, in fact, be wrong. Unfunny to an absurd degree, Dawson credits himself as being a director, actor, comedian, and whatever other titles James Franco also gave himself. Rather than insight, Dawson spews easy profanity and crudeness across his multiple channels, infecting the very definition of "comedy" with his awfulness and propagating casual racism and sexism for all of his young, impressionable fans. It's of little comfort that this hair clog's film, Not Cool, is universally hated.

HowToBasic

Despite his 5.5 million subscribers' regular attempts to crack his true identity, all that's known about YouTuber HowToBasic is that he's Australian and has a chicken farm. His abrasive videos parody the innumerable useless instructional videos posted to YouTube, with HowToBasic often destroying vast amounts of food in the span of a single video. While he claims that expired food is used, this statement has been debunked a few times. We don't live in a world that can sacrifice edible food for entertainment, but as long as HowToBasic is making bank and one-trick videos, he doesn't care.

Nicole Arbour

Arbour describes herself as a "head cheerleader for life" and a "motivator," but those descriptions are in direct conflict with her famous "Dear Fat People" video, in which she spends six minutes of her limited time on this Earth describing how terrible it was for her to sit next to an overweight person on a plane, dropping "truth bombs" (her words) that would better be spent eradicating her and everything she loves from existence. The conclusion of her video claims that she's trying to save people from themselves, but the smarmy oversimplifications of an upper-class twit can't change a thing.

CopperCab

Three-hundred-thousand subscribers tune in to see a redhead inarticulately scream about things. That's all it takes to be popular on YouTube. It's not funny, it's not creative, and Cab's small measure of fame was accidental. While he claims that his spittle-flecked rants, usually filmed in his yard to the displeasure of his poor neighbors, are just him portraying a character, his original rant against South Park's portrayal of redheads was definitely genuine. Currently, he leeches onto videos made by more popular vloggers to suck what little fleeting attention he can get before the world wises up.

Tom Milsom

Ex-DFTBA musician Tom Milsom is a small part of a huge problem. In an environment where forced quirkiness is perceived as talent, Milsom earned young, female followers with no sense of melody and exploited them. When one fan came forward about Milsom's abuse, it prompted a girl abused by Alex Day, another DFTBA musician, to also speak out. And all of this after Mike Lombardo, a third DFTBA artist, began serving a five-year sentence for convincing his underage fans to send him explicit photos of themselves.

Onision

The kind of person who revels in his reputation as human garbage, Onision never seems to miss a chance to attack other popular YouTubers in order to attract attention to his nauseatingly humorless videos. Yet another young, male YouTube personality accused of sexual assault, Onision is banned from VidCon because of his hateful reaction to the original accusation levied against him, which only dug him deeper into whatever terrible hell produces things like him.

Hannah Minx

Fortunately, Internet fame does not equal immortality. Miss Hannah Minx left YouTube in 2014 after she experienced a conflict with her management, got married, and decided to disappear from the kind of attention that pointing a video camera directly down your shirt earns. While active, Hannah's videos were light on content, but full of butchered Japanese, giggling, and bouncing. Fans of cleavage have set up Facebook pages attempting to track her down, not realizing that there are other ways to find skin on the Internet.