Why Amanda Kloots Says She Wasn't A Good Wife To Nick Cordero

It has been nearly one year since Nick Cordero died at 41 after suffering severe complications from COVID-19. The actor's tragic death came as a loss to many who hoped he would recover despite being on a ventilator for over three months. Sadly, on July 5, 2020, his wife, Amanda Kloots, announced his death via Instagram. "God has another angel in heaven now. My darling husband passed away this morning. He was surrounded in love by his family, singing and praying as he gently left this earth," she wrote. "I am in disbelief and hurting everywhere. My heart is broken as I cannot imagine our lives without him."

She continued, "Nick was such a bright light. He was everyone's friend, loved to listen, help and especially talk. He was an incredible actor and musician. He loved his family and loved being a father and husband. Elvis and I will miss him in everything we do, everyday."

Every month since then, Kloots has honored her husband on social media, as well as sharing candid updates regarding how she has been handling the grief. Now, she has reflected on what she could have done differently in their marriage. Scroll ahead to find out why Kloots feels she wasn't a "good wife."

In a profile from The New York Times published on June 10, Amanda Kloots said she doesn't think she was a "good wife" to her late husband Nick Cordero because she did not support his dreams of starting a music career. The talk show host, who will soon release her memoir "Live Your Life: My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero," admitted she didn't understand why he'd want to give up on acting and move their family — which included their young son, Elvis — to Los Angeles. "I was not understanding any of it," Kloots explained. "I was like, 'This is a waste of time, and we have no money.' He did not feel supported by me. I wasn't supportive."

She went on to say that she and Cordero often fought about the topic before she decided to meet him halfway and relocate. "I finally came to a place of, 'This is marriage, you have to compromise.'" According to Metro, the couple was living in Zach Braff's guest house when Cordero contracted COVID-19. During his hospital stay, Kloots asked fans to play his music, which she said she learned to appreciate "too late." She added, "But I'm determined to keep his voice alive."

Elsewhere in her memoir "Live Your Life," Amanda Kloots also opened up about the start of her relationship with Nick Cordero. She said that despite their instant connection, she and her late husband were "very different people" — almost "too different." The "Dancing With the Stars" competitor explained, "We didn't see the world, marriage, and family the same," she wrote (via Entertainment Tonight), noting that they previously led completely opposite lifestyles.

Kloots admitted that their different views on religion also really tested their relationship, revealing the couple broke up twice because of it. "We had many arguments about it," she wrote in her book. "We had our ups and downs. We fought." Luckily, their differences were no match for their deep love for one another and in 2017, Kloots and Cordero tied the knot in New York City. They welcomed their son, Elvis, less than two years later.

Unfortunately, the pair had disagreements after they were married as well. "We saw two different worlds and futures, but Nick would not shut up about California," Kloots wrote. "Such a huge part of marriage is compromise and understanding. I knew that unless I agreed to go to LA and try it, he would never be happy. He had grown so negative about Manhattan that it affected his daily mood, and it was important to me that my husband be happy."

Amanda Kloots was incredibly candid about the weeks leading up to Nick Cordero's COVID-19 diagnosis, admitting she felt annoyed by him. "His behavior seemed normal, all things considered. I feel awful now, because at the time, I felt a little frustrated," she explained (via Entertainment Tonight). "He was just sleeping all day, and I was alone doing everything for Elvis, for the house, and for our family. I remember thinking, 'Okay, I guess you're just going to sleep then.'"

Kloots went on to say that she regrets going back to New York City to pack up their things and move amid the pandemic as the couple was one decision away from a different outcome. The widow explained that she felt it was likely that the Broadway star contracted the virus on that trip. "I had the strangest feeling it would be a very long time before we would see New York again," she wrote in her book. "Now I look back and think we should never have gone to New York."