Times Gwen Stefani Was Too Open About Her Divorce

Former wild-child turned celeb mom Gwen Stefani is rediscovering her inner wild, now that she is no longer married. In August 2015, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale announced via Access Hollywood that after 12 years of marriage and three kids, that they would be calling it quits and going their separate ways. The announcement included the usual celeb divorce statement fluff about the children and needing "privacy from the media during this time," and blah, blah, blah. But the takeaway message is simple: Gwen is ready to mingle, loaded down with "inspiration" for new songs, and baggage she needs to offload on the public. No matter that the celeb divorce roundabout is old hat: all any newly single celeb wants to do is share what they're going through, and the No Doubt front-lady is no exception. Here are a few times Gwen Stefani was a little too open about her divorce.

A song is always a bit better when it is based on real experiences: it adds a touch of passion that an audience responds to. But there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. Listeners want to be entertained, but it's hard to be entertained when you suspect the song you are listening to is just thinly disguised therapy for the songwriter. "I feel like I go back and listen to a lot of that stuff, and I get sick. You look at the song and you go 'That was a red flag. That was a moment where I was feeling just as bad as I feel today and why did I keep it up?'" In this one statement made on The Tommy Show, Stefani just converted a large part of her popular back catalog into over-sharing.

It is another inevitable post-divorce tradition that the newly single must go out and rediscover why they stopped going out so much when they got married. "I was literally that party girl that you hear about when their life blows up and you're like, 'Oh, I'm going out! Watch me!'" Tapping into her inner 'college girl gone wild,' Stefani is projecting all sorts of unwanted imagery here. Despite the fact that she's hooked up with Blake Shelton and won't be going that wild, it's still a picture no one needs in their head.

Divorce is so inspiring! In the same interview with Carson Daly, Stefani described how she's rediscovered her muse since the breakup. Her creativity is clearly benefitting from the emotional shock and her newfound productivity is making her happy. But in her effort to find a metaphor for her feelings, she connects with possibly one of the most awkward moments on television—the Tom Cruise Oprah couch-jump. "If I was, like, right now, Tom Cruise, I'd be up here [on this counter]! I would be couch-jumping!" If ever a TV moment was synonymous with crazy-awkward, "Cruise on the Couch" would be it. And Stefani should have kept that under wraps.

In the wake of her divorce, Stefani has released a new single, widely believed to have been inspired by Rossdale—and it's hard to see how it couldn't be. Unfortunately the lyrics, while no doubt sincere (zing), read more like the monologue of a broken hearted teenager. For example: "You know I was the best thing that ever happened to you, Well, now look at what you lost" and "You can keep all the memories, I thought I was the best thing that ever happened to you, I thought you loved me the most." Take away the backing music and throw in an awkward teenage boy in a school cafeteria and you have all the makings of the next hit teenage drama. Which is unfortunate because you would hope breakups would get more sophisticated when you hit your forties.