The Tragic Truth About Ruby Rose
This article contains references to domestic abuse, child sexual abuse, suicide, and eating disorders.
Australian star Ruby Rose first stepped out into the public eye at the age of 16 as a model and TV presenter before she set her sights on Hollywood. Over the years, Rose, who came out as gay at age 12 and is gender fluid, has undergone a stunning transformation to a more androgynous style, which they documented in her autobiographical short film "Break Free."
Through her acting career, Rose, who continues to use she/her pronouns as well as they/them, has built up a reputation as an action star thanks to roles in "XXX: Return of Xander Cage" and "SAS: Red Notice." She was also at the center of an iconic moment in TV history for the LGBTQIA+ community when she took on the role of the titular superhero in "Batwoman." Announcing her life-changing role on Instagram (via Teen Vogue) back in 2018, they said: "I am beyond thrilled and honored ... this is a childhood dream. This is something I would have died to have seen on TV when I was a young member of the LGBT community who never felt represented."
Unfortunately, her life hasn't been as rosy as it may look from the other side of the screen. The actor faced many obstacles early in life and had a rough childhood, had difficulties navigating fame as a queer person, and struggled with her mental health. "I've had ups, I've had downs — I've lived very publicly and not always been the best representation of myself," they previously admitted to The Guardian. Let's dig into the tragic truth about Ruby Rose.
Ruby Rose's early life was tough
During the early years of her public life, Ruby Rose didn't reveal too many details about her tough childhood. But she later told The Guardian that if sharing her story could help someone else, then she was ready to lay it all out.
Rose was born in Melbourne to 20-year-old Katia Langenheim and an unnamed father who wasn't in the picture long. "We had no money and my dad was not really a good person. Mum got out of there for my safety," Rose revealed during an interview with Porter Magazine (via The Sun). Langenheim resorted to desperate measures to get them out of there. She stole and pawned a TV to pay for airfare to get them from Melbourne to Rose's aunt's house in Queensland. "When we rocked up to the front door, we were malnourished. My mum had two black eyes, and I was like one of those kids in scary movies who are dirty and bite people," Rose recalled.
Rose added that after that, she and her mom muddled through, but things were not easy for them. "It was just us against the world for a long time," they admitted. However, she also praised her mom for doing her best under the circumstances, and the pair continue to share a close bond.
Ruby Rose struggled with her mental health after she was sexually abused by a family member
In 2019, Ruby Rose opened up about their past in a candid Instagram post (via Women's Health) where she shared a picture of herself in hospital and revealed that she's been struggling with her mental health for most of her life. The "Batwoman" star revealed that she was diagnosed with depression at age 13 and, three years later, was diagnosed with major depressive disorder.
However, her mental health struggles began even earlier than this, and Rose previously told The Daily Telegraph (via The Sun) that she attempted to take her own life at age 12. "I was getting suicidal thoughts when I shouldn't have even known what suicide was," she said. It stemmed from a number of traumas she was subjected to as a child, including being sexually assaulted. "My past involved incestuous sexual abuse and a turbulent home life which was not always safe," she revealed to the outlet.
Rose has not named her abuser but has continued to speak out about how the abhorrent act affected her. In the Instagram post, Rose shared that she was diagnosed with severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as an adult. Following more therapy and further texts, Rose was diagnosed with complex PTSD. Although it has been a long and difficult road for Rose, they added: "What I have learned from the struggles of mental health is just how strong I am."
She was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder
During her teen years, Ruby Rose experienced huge mood swings, which led to a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder, after which she was plied with a variety of incorrect medications. Explaining the misdiagnosis on Instagram (via Women's Health), she said: "It turned out I just had depression.. the pure sad depression without the fun and not so fun parts of mania, it was an overactive thyroid that created that misdiagnosis."
The mistake was realized when she was 18, at which time Rose received another life-changing diagnosis. An incident where Rose didn't recognize her childhood best friend led her to be diagnosed with dissociative amnesia. As she discovered she'd blocked out huge chunks of time from her memory, she started asking questions about her early years. "I found out I went from a smiling, laughing child to a quiet mute who sat alone and stared off to the distance during recess after one of many traumatic events that I didn't remember."
Possibly referring to her sexual abuse, they added: "[Events] that my mum had to tell me about but hadn't for so many years because the doctors at the time said I was too young to process what had happened and that it was for the best." This led to her being hospitalized on multiple occasions for her depression and, of course, factored into her PTSD diagnosis.
She was the victim of horrific school bullying
Ruby Rose was subjected to a lot of traumas in their home life and unfortunately, school was not a safe place for her to escape to. The "Pitch Perfect 3" actor came out to her mom as a lesbian when she was 12 years old and was open about her sexual orientation at school. However, Rose told Glamour that reflecting upon the horrific, homophobic bullying that she endured because of it, she wouldn't necessarily have come out when she did. "I got tormented. I felt like I got crucified at school, and it was tough being the only gay person in that school," she admitted.
The bullying Rose endured wasn't just mean kids pointing, staring, and making comments; they went to great lengths to bully Rose, such as writing cruel insults on the bathroom walls. She tried to ignore it and not to let her tormentors see how much their words hurt her, but this did little to de-escalate the situation and the bullying ended up getting physical.
Speaking to The Guardian, Rose recalled a violent incident where she ended up in the hospital for five days. "I got beaten up by about four girls and one guy in front of about 50 people. They hit me in the head with metal chairs at a cafe, and they threw things at me. They punched me. I ended up with lacerations, big bruises, [and a] concussion." The assault left her "worried for her life," but she was unable to press charges due to her family's financial struggles.
Ruby Rose struggled to find her place in the world
It's safe to say that after that kind of horrific bullying, Ruby Rose didn't feel safe at school. In fact, at Australia's pay-TV awards in 2009, the actor said: "My life began when high school ended." (via news.com.au) But unfortunately, it wasn't as simple as that, and Rose still struggled with their identity and finding her place in the world.
As her public profile was rising, Rose dealt with feelings of gender dysphoria and her sense of identity. Explaining it to The Guardian, she said, "I loved being with all the boys, and sort of saw myself as one of the boys." The actor admitted this caused a lot of conflict within them, as growing up, she believed she had to fit into one category of either being a boy or a girl. "For a long time, I thought there was something a bit wrong with me, or that I wasn't the gender I was meant to be," she revealed.
For a while, Rose believed she was transgender. She used binders and was saving up for gender affirmation surgery. However, she ultimately felt comfortable defining herself as gender fluid. "It took years, but eventually, I came to a place where I went: 'OK, I think I'm just very androgynous and very in tune with the masculine energy,'" Rose explained.
Ruby Rose never wanted to be a model
Ruby Rose's modeling career began after she entered a competition in Girlfriend, an Australian teen magazine. Rose came in second place, but it was enough to secure them professional work. She was paid roughly $1,000 AUD for her first job, posing in an artificial grass advert — but she hated it. Rose told The Guardian: "I never wanted to do modeling ever. Never, never, never ... I hated it. But it made money. We needed it, we counted on that money." So, after that first job, they sucked it up and continued with modeling in order to make ends meet.
However, it was tough since she especially hated being physically critiqued and told how she had to look. "I was anti being told that I had to look a certain way, and that how I looked wasn't good enough," Rose explained, adding that it made them want to do the opposite. "If anything, it just made me kind of bolder, stronger. I had a bit of a problem with authority," they said. In the end, her mom let her get tattoos as a way to reclaim her individuality while using modeling as a means to an end.
She's been the target of a lot of online hate
Throughout her career, Ruby Rose has been at the receiving end of hateful comments from internet trolls who've commented on all aspects of her life, from the occasional bout of acne to any changes in her weight. Rose, who has gained a reputation for starring in action movies and TV shows, has been working out a lot over the years. She's always been thin, but has increased her focus on getting strong and, as a result, her body has become more muscular and toned. Some of their followers have noticed this transformation and have criticized them for being "too thin," and the Daily Mail even suggested she had an eating disorder.
Rose was forced to put out a statement on her Instagram story (via People) addressing the comments. She apologized to any of her fans who may have been affected or triggered by the eating disorder article and shut down the body shaming comments. She wrote: "I trained my ass off for three action films, I used to be a boxer. My body is just my body, it fluctuates, and it changes depending on how hard I train." Rose also explained that the period of time in her early 20s when people thought she looked better was actually a very dark time in her life, as she was dealing with a serious episode of depression and, in spite of their opinions, she's much healthier now.
Ruby Rose was almost paralyzed after serious stunts left her needing emergency back surgery
"Arrowverse" TV shows are known for their action-packed stunt sequences, and it's well known that the stars of the various shows try to do a lot of the stunts themselves. Stephen Amell, who played Oliver Queen (aka the Green Arrow), really did have to do the iconic salmon ladder stunts in "Arrow" while "Supergirl" star Melissa Benoist did the majority of her own boxing and wire work. So, unsurprisingly, Ruby Rose followed suit when she joined the superhero franchise in 2018.
Some of their stunts were more dangerous than others, with one resulting in a serious accident and injury for Rose the following year.
A couple of months after it happened, Rose revealed the details on Instagram. "I was told I needed an emergency surgery, or I was risking becoming paralyzed ... I had herniated two discs doing stunts, and they were close to severing my spinal cord. I was in chronic pain and yet couldn't feel my arms," she explained. She said the surgery was successful and that it would allow her to return to acting. This had happened in the middle of filming "Batwoman," and they soon got back to work. The serious accident made them realize it wasn't worth the risk of doing all her own stunts, though, and she agreed to share the load with her stunt double.
This was not her first operation
In 2018, Ruby Rose revealed that she had been living with chronic back pain for the entirety of her adult life. After finishing up her time as Stella Carlin on "Orange Is the New Black," Rose underwent a necessary procedure, but it left her mobility seriously limited.
After their back surgery, Rose faced a long road to recovery. She had to use a wheelchair and a cane while she regained her strength. Warning fans, she made a statement on Twitter that said: "I am now recovering from a back procedure, but I do need to stay active, so before I get seen with my cane and wheelchair in public, I'd rather put it out there that I'm fine and going to be fine" (via People).
Rose recovered well enough to be able to do stuntwork on "Batwoman" over the course of the next year, but that was not the end of her health struggles. Alongside her aforementioned serious back surgery in 2019, Rose had another operation in 2021. Although she didn't reveal what the surgery was for, it resulted in long-lasting issues. "I had a few complications, and I had to go to the emergency room to go to the hospital," she revealed in a since-deleted Instagram story (via People). The situation was made much worse by the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. The actor revealed she was rejected by several emergency rooms which were at capacity and it took hours for her to receive treatment.
The real reason she left Batwoman
In 2018, Ruby Rose became the first person to play an openly gay superhero on TV. Her character was well-received when she first appeared in the franchise's "Elseworlds" crossover and the first season of her show, which came a year later, was a hit with critics. Unsurprisingly, the show was renewed in 2020, but shockingly, Rose confirmed they would have no part in it.
Rose's sudden departure from the superhero series shocked fans, who were keen to uncover the real reason she was turning in her cape. Production was quick to comment that it had nothing to do with Rose's mid-season injury and she later made a claim that she decided to leave because she was allergic to her signature latex costume. "I was getting worse and worse, because as you get more contact with it, I guess you get more reactions. I took off the [mask] at the end, and my whole face was just hives. My throat was all messed up," they said on The Kyle and Jackie O Show, via (Twitter).
However, Rose then backtracked and said she did not quit, instead alleging that she was fired after complaining about inappropriate and unsafe work going on behind the scenes, which Warner Bros. rebutted. Most notably, Rose alleged on Instagram (via The Direct) that she was forced back to work 10 days after her spinal surgery in 2019. She claimed the jobs of their fellow cast and crew members were threatened if she did not comply.
She doesn't celebrate her birthday
In most instances, birthdays are a cause for celebration, but this isn't the case for Ruby Rose. Writing on her Instagram story in 2023, the actor shared that she doesn't celebrate her birthday and has not done so for some time (via Daily Mail). The day before her 37th birthday, they shared: "If you have followed me for long enough, you'll know I don't acknowledge tomorrow. I don't celebrate that day ... so please leave it for me this year." After this, Rose disappeared from social media for several days. It's not clear why the "Batwoman" star doesn't celebrate their birthday, but her post implied a long-time disdain for her birthday, which could be linked to traumatic events from her childhood.
As Rose has a history of mental health issues, her post and subsequent online absence terrified her 22.8 million followers and the actor sparked fears for their safety and wellbeing. However, she returned to social media less than 24 hours later, revealing that she'd spent her birthday at a dog shelter and urged her fans to adopt if they were able.
If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.
If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.
If you need help with an eating disorder, or know someone who does, help is available. Visit the National Eating Disorders Association website or contact NEDA's Live Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. You can also receive 24/7 Crisis Support via text (send NEDA to 741-741).