The Shady Side Of Dakota Johnson Everyone Ignores

"Madame Web" star Dakota Johnson has developed the uncanny ability to make our shady senses tingle whenever she opens her mouth during interviews. On "Late Night with Seth Meyers," for example, she kinda threw shade at her fellow U.S. citizens while promoting her Marvel movie. After assuring them that no knowledge of the Spider-verse was needed to enjoy it, she quipped, "You don't got to know nothing. It's great for America." During that same interview, she described filming her small role in the series finale of "The Office" as "the worst time of my life" simply because shooting ran so long and the show's main cast members weren't talking to her.

Johnson's deadpan delivery of almost every response to her interviewers' questions can make it difficult to discern whether she's being dead serious or joking, which has possibly helped bolster her reputation for throwing shade like Spider-Man slings a web. But at least she was laughing when she told MTV News correspondent Josh Horowitz that their interview wasn't going well. "One of our careers is over, and it's not mine," she quipped.

Johnson has complained about fans who ask her for photos. "It's basically like somebody coming up and being like, 'Can I lick your face?'" she said on "Jakes Takes." She also hates it when people try to take clandestine photos of her, but on "The Tonight Show," she confessed to doing the same thing to the "Stranger Things" cast. And she's done far shadier things.

She defended Armie Hammer and cracked a cannibalism joke

Dakota Johnson has worked with multiple actors who have been accused of being abusive. She appeared alongside Shia LaBeouf in "The Peanut Butter Falcon," she and Armie Hammer both had roles in "The Social Network," and she worked with Johnny Depp on a few films, including "Black Mass" and "21 Jump Street." In a 2021 interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Johnson offered these actors and others accused of similar behavior a blanket defense by saying, "I do believe that people can change." She added, "Cancel culture is such a f***ing downer."

Hammer disappeared from Hollywood after several women accused him of sexual abuse. Some women also came forward with alleged texts from the "Call Me by Your Name" actor, the most infamous of which referenced cannibalism. One of Hammer's exes, Courtney Vucekovich, told Page Six, "He said to me he wants to break my rib and barbecue and eat it." After another woman accused Hammer of sexual assault, her allegations were investigated by the LAPD. However, no charges were filed due to "insufficient evidence," per Business Insider.

For most people, this situation was no laughing matter. However, Johnson cracked a tone-deaf joke about her former co-star at the Sundance Film Festival. She quipped that it was a good thing she had to turn down an offer to play the peach in "Call Me by Your Name," saying, "I would have been another woman that Armie Hammer would have tried to eat."

She didn't seem enthusiastic about promoting Madame Web

During the press tour for "Madame Web," Dakota Johnson delivered more viral soundbites than there are radioactive arachnid bites in the Spider-verse. In an interview with Magic FM, she was indecisive about whether she even wanted to watch the film herself, saying, "I haven't actually seen the movie ... I probably won't. I don't know when I'll see it. Someday." 

She'd previously assured prospective filmgoers that she was someone who cared about the potential new comic book franchise she was helping create. "I have really always loved Marvel movies," she said in a promotional video. But her shifty eyes and the way she paused between words had some fans questioning her honesty. One TikToker referenced Johnson's citrus scandal, writing, "Is she lying about loving Marvel the same way she lied about loving limes?" The answer is yes; Johnson later told MTV News that she's only seen 15 minutes of one Marvel movie.

Johnson also threw some shade at her movie during her "Saturday Night Live" monologue. After reminding viewers that Sydney Sweeney is also in it, she said, "It's kind of like if A.I. generated your boyfriend's perfect movie." Speaking of Sweeney, Johnson complained to E! News that she wasn't included in the "Madame Web" group chat created by Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O'Connor. However, the three younger actors told MTV News that Johnson never texts them back, so it might be her own fault that she got left out.

She made some fellow partygoers uncomfortable

Dakota Johnson doesn't play when it comes to parties. Ellen DeGeneres learned this the hard way when Johnson called her out on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" for snubbing her birthday party invitation and lying about not receiving it. 

The topic of parties also came up on "The Drew Barrymore Show" in 2021 when Johnson mentioned that she's neighbors with Jimmy Kimmel and his wife. "They are great neighbors except they have a lot of parties and they don't invite me," Johnson said. This prompted Drew Barrymore to remind everyone about the DeGeneres situation. The host expressed surprise that the Kimmels were risking Johnson's wrath by leaving her off their guest list — but this might be because Kimmel witnessed some of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" star's party behavior before.

When Johnson was a guest on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" in 2018, Kimmel shared an anecdote about what went down when he and Johnson struck up a conversation at a party. Two people who live in their neighborhood happened to be there and came over to say hello. "And you immediately said, 'Did you guys tow my grandfather's truck?'" Kimmel recalled to Johnson. He said that the neighbors were obviously guilty as charged, and the two of them awkwardly tried to extricate themselves from having that conversation right then and there. "I don't know what happened," Johnson stated. "I turned into Medusa." However, she insisted that she is "not a confrontational person."

She called filming Fifty Shades 'psychotic'

The "Fifty Shades of Grey" movies helped Dakota Johnson prove that she has what it takes to be a leading lady, but she didn't have the nicest things to say about the woman who created her star-making role. Speaking to Vanity Fair, Johnson revealed that she wasn't exactly on board with the vision of E.L. James, the author of the books on which the films are based. "She just demanded that certain things happen. There were parts of the books that just wouldn't work in a movie, like the inner monologue, which was at times incredibly cheesy," Johnson said. So, it seems that the actor was all for putting a gag between the lips of Anastasia Steele's panting, pole-vaulting inner goddess.

The actor also revealed that she snuck some of the lines that James had scrapped back into her dialogue during filming. However, Johnson said that the finished product was still nothing like the movie she originally agreed to star in. "If I had known at the time that's what it was going to be like, I don't think anyone would've done it. It would've been like, 'Oh, this is psychotic,'" she said.

In a Reddit discussion about Johnson's comments regarding James, one commenter expressed surprise that the actor seemed to take it as a given that she would be allowed some say in the movies' creative direction. Another person suggested that "a strong sense of nepotism" was to blame for the actor's attitude.

How Dakota Johnson feels about the nepo baby discourse

Dakota Johnson has been parentally blessed — while pursuing an acting career, she's undoubtedly benefitted from being the daughter of actors Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith. Many opinion pieces have been written about the children of the stars who piggyback on their parents' success, but acknowledging that nepotism exists is not a topic that interests Dakota. "If you're a journalist, then write about something else. That's just lame," she said during a "Today" interview. She also said that it annoys her. (Sorry, Dakota.)

Being born into a wealthy family that presumably has many Hollywood connections at their disposal is what allows someone like Dakota to be offered a starring role on a spin-off of "The Office" only to act like such a thing is beneath her when it gets scrapped. "I don't know in what world that would've worked for me creatively," she told The Hollywood Reporter. "I have found that when something is successful, even when there's nothing left, they just keep trying to wring out the towel of story." 

And only someone who has lived a life of privilege would think that spending time in the clink is hilarious. "I'm constantly trying to get my best friend arrested," she said during an interview with KISS. She went on to explain why this would entertain her immensely, saying, "He would be so scared, and he would do really badly in prison." She's not just shady — she's downright devious!