Fantasia Barrino explains why she married herself

American Idol (2002-16) winner Fantasia Barrino has learned to put herself first.

On May 2, 2017, Barrino explained to Harry Connick, Jr. on his talk show, Harry, why she wears two wedding rings, and the reason is quite simple: she married herself before she married her husband Kendall Taylor.

Really.

"Before I met him I bought a ring and married myself. That's crazy, right?" she revealed to Connick, Jr. "I married myself because I felt like before true love could come I needed to learn how to love myself again. And so, for me, I just forgot about myself."

Barrino, 32, went on, "I was so busy trying to take care of everybody else, so busy looking for that love that I was ending up in all the wrong situations, so I came here to do After Midnight, jazz … so that was a breath of fresh air for me, and so I said I'm going to marry myself."

Since her big win on American Idol in 2004, the singer, who's criticized how heavily the competition series focused on her past mistakes, has certainly faced some obstacles over the years. After mismanaging her finances, losing her house, and discovering tumors on her throat, Barrino reportedly sunk into a deep depression. In 2010, Barrino attempted suicide by overdosing on aspirin and sleeping pills.

"I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out," she told VH1 in a 2016 interview for Behind the Music (via People). "At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it."

Luckily, things seem to be looking up for the star. She got married (for real!) in July 2015 and was recently nominated at the 59th Grammy Awards for her song "Sleeping With The One I Love."

"I'm going to fast from all the things I used to do. I'm going to focus on Fantasia, and I needed to let God know because God knows what we need," Barrino told Connick, Jr. "He just wonders do we know what we need, and that was that time for me when I needed to figure out what I really needed."