The Truth About Anthony Bourdain's Romantic Relationships

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The following article mentions suicide, sexual assault, and drug abuse. 

It's safe to say that Anthony Bourdain has remained a treasured part of both the entertainment and food industries even years after his 2018 death. Best known as a well-respected foodie and a captivating travel show host, Bourdain's career path seemingly stemmed from his love of food. He began his career as a restaurant chef in Manhattan, per The New York Times, then went on to author multiple books centered on the topic. Of course, Bourdain's major success came from TV, with his popular food and travel shows "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" and "Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown."

Despite having the dream job of traveling the world to eat, Bourdain struggled when it came to his personal life. In his early days, the writer became addicted to cocaine and heroin for several years, which was something he was very open about. But what many fans didn't know about Bourdain until he committed suicide at age 61 was that he also suffered from depression. 

Just as with his career path, Bourdain wasn't traditional when it came to his love life, though he did get married twice. You could say the chef had intense and unusual relationships with three women in particular: his first wife Nancy Putkowksi, his second wife and the mother of his only child, Ottavia Busia, and his girlfriend at the time of his death, actor Asia Argento. So let's break down these relationships to get to know more about the romantic side of this beloved and missed talent.

If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline​ at​ 1-800-273-TALK (8255)​.

Nancy Putkowski may have been Anthony Bourdain's first love, but it seems the two weren't each other's end game. While the TV personality told The Daily Life that Putkowski "was my partner in crime, my wife, and before that my girlfriend," they apparently drifted apart. Bourdain seemingly blamed his career change at the time, saying, "I spent almost two years traveling and filming 'A Cook's Tour' and, as a result, my marriage fell apart." It probably didn't help that Bourdain wrote in his book "A Cook's Tour" that Putkowski "hated the idea of making a television show, hated being near a camera, and had already taken a serious dislike to the producer for keeping me busy most of the day."

Bourdain dished to The Guardian that traveling had also affected how he perceived his marriage. He explained that after going to Vietnam in particular, "I knew that my whole previous life was doomed. ... I had seen that ... color ... and I knew that that had changed me." When it came to his feelings for Putkowski, he confessed, "She was the love of my life. But everything changed."

Despite reaching this conclusion, Bourdain recalled to The New Yorker that he was suicidal after their 2005 divorce and would still send Putkowski emails that were the "the sort of thing you write if you ... thought you were going to die." He explained to The Guardian, "What I do regret is letting people down. ... as a friend, as a lover, being a letdown."

If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline​ at​ 1-800-273-TALK (8255)​.

In 2007, Anthony Bourdain got married again, this time to Italian restaurant manager Ottavia Busia. People reports that despite Busia being 22 years Bourdain's junior, the two were set up by their mutual friend and famous chef Eric Ripert. In the documentary "Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain," Busia recalled (via People), "I thought he was going to be this bad boy — a little bit arrogant and not what I was expecting but endearing nonetheless." She explained how his busy schedule didn't bother her at first, telling Married to a Chef, "When I met him I was actually the one working in a restaurant and he was already traveling the world." Because their lives were so hectic, they often met up "in dive bars in the middle of the night."

One of those first dates, in particular, was what made Bourdain fall in love. He dished to Cosmopolitan, "She ordered a six-pound lobster. I sat there, enraptured ... Her fearless, open-minded approach to food is completely alluring." Besides their love of food, they also bonded over their restaurant industry experience. Busia explained, "We used to meet after my shift was over and we would stay up for hours drinking beers, talking about my day at work. "

The couple was also into partying and even got matching tattoos with Busia pointing out, "we shared that particular sense of humor." Eventually, they both got into MMA fighting too. Bourdain revealed to Vice that because of that "Date night is pretty much going to a fight."

You could say that a lot of the issues that led to the end of Anthony Bourdain's first marriage were still problems for his second. Ottavia Busia told Married to a Chef that like Bourdain's ex-wife, she too struggled with his fame. She explained, "When I first met my husband he wasn't particularly famous ... I have to admit at first, when people started asking for pictures or autographs pretty much everywhere, it was a little unsettling." It didn't help that she also told The New York Times, "I hate being on TV."

What made matters presumedly worse was that the two didn't seem to spend much time together, with Busia revealing that Bourdain was only home during the holidays and that she was "used to [being] alone." Bourdain seemingly mentioned this issue too when announcing their split in 2016, telling People, "My wife and I live, have lived, very separate lives for years." The "Parts Unknown" star maintained that they remained friends, though, adding, "There's no drama here. We get along really, really well and it's not a big lifestyle change."  

Busia later revealed in the documentary "Roadrunner" (per People) that when it came to Bourdain, "It always seemed like what he wanted was this idyllic picture of family and ordinary life but then when he got it ... maybe that wasn't enough anymore." Despite their split, Page Six reports that they never finalized their divorce and that Busia was still Bourdain's next of kin at the time of his 2018 death.

While Anthony Bourdain appeared to be very in love with actor Asia Argento, some close to him were worried that the romance was more of an unhealthy obsession. An unnamed source told People he was "Like a teenage boy just absolutely lovestruck," adding, "He would have done anything for her, and that was a little red flag for some of his friends." 

Bourdain's "Parts Unknown" producer Christopher Collins told the New York Post that their relationship could be toxic, saying, "There was a very sort of manic nature to what was going on in that last year." He continued, "The highs were very, very high, and the lows were very ugly." To make matters worse, following Bourdain's death, Argento told The Daily Mail that she had cheated on him because "He had cheated on me too." She added, "It wasn't a problem for us. He was a man who traveled 265 days a year."

Their relationship was also presumably strained when Argento was accused of sexually assaulting actor Jimmy Bennett when he was only 17, per TMZ. Before that, Argento had revealed she was the victim of convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein. In response to the revelation, Bourdain tweeted, "I am proud and honored to know you." He remained by Argento's side in the wake of the Bennett accusations by reportedly paying Bennett off to keep him quiet. Argento denied the assault but admitted to the payoff in a statement to Yashar Ali that read in part, "Anthony was afraid of the possible negative publicity."

If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).