Sad Details About The NFL's First Openly Gay Player
"I'm Michael Sam, I'm a football player, and I'm gay," college football star Michael Sam told The New York Times in 2014, shortly before he was drafted by the St Louis Rams and became the NFL's first openly gay player. This groundbreaking achievement was met with resistance as well as praise: football insiders anonymously predicted that his sexuality would sabotage his career, top NFL coaches secretly called him slurs, and Sam faced homophobia from other players over kissing his boyfriend.
And long before the whirlwind of media attention, Sam was struggling to escape a turbulent childhood filled with upheaval. His parents separated when he was young, and his mother was a heavily religious woman who disapproved of football. At various points, the young athlete lived in his mother's car and at the homes of school friends who took him in after family disagreements. "Sometimes, I would argue and I got kicked out of the house, and I didn't have no place to stay," Sam told ESPN. "Sometimes, I stayed at the school, the high school, and I'd bounce around to my friends' house."
Keep reading to find out about the other challenges that Sam faced in his personal and professional life over the years.
Michael Sam lost family members
Michael Sam's family faced a series of shocking tragedies when he was young: one of his sisters drowned at the age of two, one of his brothers died after being shot at age 15, and another brother disappeared in 1998. "It was very hard growing up in that environment," Sam told The New York Times, adding that his family became known as a particularly troubled household in their neighborhood. "Everyone would say, 'There goes those damn Sams.' I didn't want to paint that ill picture of me." He defended his family members, however, arguing that nobody recognized their potential or virtues. "They didn't know our background and the adversity we had to endure," he explained. "I wanted to succeed and be a beacon of hope in my family."
"It was kind of hard, [being] 11 or 12, coming home from school, see my mom crying, saying, 'Your brother was shot,'" his brother Josh told ABC News. "Seeing him in the casket." And after their other brother Julian went missing a couple of years later, the family really started to fall apart. "When my brother died, I really started going down the wrong road," Josh recalled. "Really, we all took different ways. It was just a hard time for our mother."
Michael Sam has family members in jail
Michael Sam had some terrifying brushes with the law when he was younger and growing up in a family that frequently faced arrests. According to BuzzFeed News, his brother Josh had already been picked up by the police more than 40 times by 2014, mostly for drug possession. His brother Chris had a more serious encounter with the legal system when he was convicted of assaulting and stealing from a woman in her own home. He was ultimately handed a sentence of 30 years in state prison.
"Growing up was very hard, very hard to see the things that I saw," Sam recalled on ESPN. "Police coming in our homes, for my brothers, arresting them." He revealed that when he was a child, the police accidentally maced him during a confrontation with other family members. "It was scary," the football star added. "No kid should ever have to see that or go through that." But he was motivated by those experiences to pursue football. "Being who I am now, I knew that I didn't want to go down that road like my brothers," Sam concluded. "So I surrounded myself with good people, and I played sports, and football was my safe haven."
His brothers heard about his rise to prominence. "If I was talking to him now, I would tell him I don't judge him," his brother Josh told ABC News from jail. "I'm proud of him for not becoming like me."
His father struggled with his sexuality
Before Michael Sam had to face the sports world's reaction to his sexuality, he had to deal with his own family. "I'm closer to my friends than I am to my family," Sam told The New York Times, explaining why it took years to tell his old-fashioned father, Michael Sam Sr. Eventually, he sent his dad a text. "I don't want my grandkids raised in that kind of environment. I'm old school," his father later commented. "I'm a man-and-a-woman type of guy." He also declared that Hall of Fame NFL legend Deacon Jones would be "turning over in his grave" to see an openly gay football player. Michael Sr. insisted that his concern came from a place of love, however. "As a Black man, we have so many hurdles to cross," he argued. "This is just one he has to cross."
In a follow-up interview with BuzzFeed News, Michael Sr. claimed that he had been misquoted and that he was far more supportive than that interview made him seem. "I love my son," he insisted, "and I don't care about what he do." He also spoke about how he had his suspicions beforehand, especially when Michael Jr. started bringing his boyfriend Vito Cammisano home. When the football player's uncle discussed the possibility of him ever dating women again in 2014, his father bluntly shut down the conversation. "Women don't really want to mess with you after doing all that gay s**t," Michael Sr. stated.
He was protested by the Westboro Baptist Church
During his time at the University of Missouri, Michael Sam played for the Missouri Tigers and became a college football star who was chosen as a first-team All-American. So the school invited him to pick up their Cotton Bowl trophy at a basketball game in 2014, shortly after he came out as gay. Prior to the event, the Westboro Baptist Church had announced that they were planning to turn up with homophobic signs and protest his appearance, as ESPN reported. "We were angry," a fellow Tiger, Max Copeland, recalled. "We're football players. We're protective. That's our brother."
Students at the University of Missouri responded by forming a "human wall" between Sam and the anti-gay protesters. "We wanted to do something to stand up to the hate," one sophomore declared. They had promoted the counter-protest on Facebook and around 2,000 people showed up to support Sam in the end, turning their backs on the outnumbered Westboro Baptist Church members. "Thank you for all of my Mizzou family for your support," Sam tweeted after the event. "Divided we are weak, Together we are Strong."
"Sam was just so moved," a spokesman later told ESPN. "It was a huge day for him. A wonderful day. A life-changing day."
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His teammates resented the media attention
After Michael Sam came out as gay, he received a lot of media attention. And following an interview with Oprah Winfrey, her network commissioned a documentary series that would follow him through his time with the Rams. This raised concerns that Sam was too distracted from football, but his agent insisted that it wasn't an issue. "Being a football player and documenting history are not mutually exclusive. Just because Mike is the subject of a documentary, not a reality show, does not mean that he can't focus on football," his agent stated, per ESPN.
Some of his teammates apparently felt differently, however. "It's an interesting case that he gets to work with Oprah and have his own show, but I think it does raise eyebrows and it may be somewhat of a distraction," an anonymous Rams player told ESPN. "But this is our first time dealing with something like this, so we'll have to wait and see how it plays out and how people react." He also implied that other players weren't being honest about their support for Sam and had felt pressured to give a politically correct statement about his presence on the team. "Clearly I'm not sure how everyone feels, but from what I can tell so far I think it's a little bit of both, honestly," he added.
Michael Sam was cut by the St Louis Rams
In his rookie year, Michael Sam was drafted but failed to make the final 53-man Rams roster. According to the NFL team and their coach, he was one of the final cuts and was considered to be a team player who "did everything we asked him to do," but ultimately was released in favor of other players. "Mike's got ability. Mike played well," coach Jeff Fisher stated after the news broke. "He has the ability to play someplace. It's gotta be the right place, it's gotta be a fit." They also confirmed that he would not be on the Rams practice squad either, despite speculation that he would be able to stay with the Rams in that capacity.
Sam addressed the disheartening announcement on Twitter, giving a shout-out to the city of St Louis and thanking the team "for giving me this tremendous opportunity and allowing me to show I can play at this level." The football player added that he hoped to use his experience with the Rams to help build a solid career for himself in the world of sport, concluding: "The most worthwhile things in life rarely come easy, this is a lesson I've always known. The journey continues."
He thinks he was cut for being gay
Michael Sam's departure from the St Louis Rams wasn't the only opportunity he lost in 2014: his documentary series with Oprah Winfrey's channel had been canceled to give him "the best opportunity to achieve his dreams," as OWN president Erik Logan told NPR. Although he had supposedly been given space to focus on his football ambitions, no other teams signed him up as an active player. The Dallas Cowboys did add him to their practice team and their head coach observed that Sam "comes to work every day and practices hard," but he was cut again in October 2014.
Rams coach Jeff Fisher insisted that dropping Sam "was a football decision," per CNN, rather than a reflection of his sexuality. But Sam had his own views on why he was dropped, as he hinted to TMZ when they asked why he thought the Rams had passed him up. "I think I was the SEC Defensive Player of the Year last year ... so I don't think it had to do with talent," the defensive end told the cameras. Many seemed to agree with him, since his departure inspired a flurry of articles about how the NFL had lost the chance to have an openly gay star actively playing for a big team.
Michael Sam didn't want to join the CFL
Following the disappointing decision that ended his career with the Rams, Michael Sam turned to the Canadian Football League, instead, and joined the Montreal Alouettes in 2015. Some fans speculated that he wasn't happy with this move when he took a break during the preseason period in June.
Sam eventually quit the Montreal Alouettes after only one game, blaming mental health issues. "I never really wanted to go to the CFL, but I did and I committed to going," he later admitted on "The Dan Patrick Show," insisting that he gave Canadian football his best try since it seemed like his last opportunity. "But you know, I left with some personal issues the first time, and the second time I came back I really hadn't gotten over those issues."
At the time, he announced his intentions to go back to the NFL by 2016 and finish working on his master's degree at Missouri in the meantime. "It's been a roller coaster," Sam reflected to KMIZ-TV (via SI), discussing how chaotic his time in the center of a media storm had been. "I've been trying to figure out what's next in my life. I've just come to a conclusion, as I take this break from football, I want to focus on my media training."
He spent seven years away from football
After leaving the Canadian Football League, Michael Sam ended up spending seven years away from his greatest passion. "I was depressed," he later told ESPN, recalling the dark period that followed. "I started drinking during the week — I've never done that before ... I had relationship troubles with my fiance, we called off our engagement." Sam described his mental state as "an ongoing battle" that led him to try drugs during four or five aimless months in Los Angeles.
In 2022, he finally returned to the field with the Barcelona Dragons in the European Football League, first as a coach and then as a player. In his ESPN interview, Sam admitted that he wasn't sure how much time he had left to play the sport in good physical condition. "This is it, whether it's this season or the next two seasons," he said. "This is my high rise of playing professional football." But he still praised the Barcelona Dragons for pulling him out of a seven-year hiatus. "Football is a privilege, not a right, and I don't take it for granted anymore," Sam added. "Going out there, hanging out with the guys, being able to hit again ... The energy, everything is therapy for me. This team has helped me so much mentally and emotionally. They've probably even saved my life."
If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.