The 14 Saddest Things About Sarah Michelle Gellar's Life
The following references suicide, addiction, and mental health struggles.
For Sarah Michelle Gellar, high school was hell on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." As the titular heroine, she battled actual demons while also dealing with bullies, the pressure to get passing grades, and other stressors amplified by teen angst. Gellar went on to establish herself as a scream queen in horror movies including "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and "The Grudge," and she built quite a life for herself with the fruits of all that fake blood spatter.
Gellar and her "Scooby-Doo" co-star, Freddie Prinze Jr., started a family together and celebrated two decades of marriage in 2022. They've gone the distance, but not without some snags: Gellar did confess on "Harry" that Prinze Jr. once got so obsessed with "World of Warcraft" that she had to join a "Widows of Warcraft" support group, but their marriage survived. Gellar has also avoided some of the tragedies that often befall other former child stars who grow up in the spotlight, including battles with addiction and bad press for partying too hard. "I never smoked and I didn't drink alcohol until I was 21," she told Metro in 2008. And instead of celebrating with a splurge the first time she got paid for her "Buffy" work, she told CNBC Make It that she put her paycheck into savings. "You heard all those stories about actors that make money and people run off with it," she said.
But as cautious and careful as Gellar has been, she hasn't been able to keep her life devoid of misfortune.
She didn't have a relationship with her late father
Sarah Michelle Gellar grew up in a single-parent household, but her mom, Rosellen Gellar, made sure that she never felt like she lacked love or support. "Everything I am is because of my mom," Sarah Michelle told Cosmopolitan.
While Sarah Michelle is perfectly willing to speak about her adoration for one parent, she's disinclined to answer questions about the other. When Rolling Stone asked her about her father, Arthur Gellar, in a 1998 interview, she said, "I might have been an immaculate conception. You never know. My father, you can just say, is not in the picture." She also told TV Guide (via E! News), "Just because you donate sperm does not make you a father. I don't have a father."
In 2001, the Daily News (via E! News) reported that Arthur had died from a suspected overdose. The outlet quoted a friend as saying that he'd been struggling with depression after being diagnosed with cancer. But the following year, Sarah Michelle showed no sign of remorse or mourning when Movieline asked her about Arthur. "He's not a part of my life," she stated. The star went on to note that many reporters try to pry further when she tells them that her relationship with her father is an off-limits topic, adding that she is protective of her mother's feelings. "This is not the life she chose, so it's got to be hard for her," Sarah Michelle said.
If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.
If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Sarah Michelle Gellar's classmates had cruel intentions
For Buffy Summers, a simple wooden stake was the solution to many problems. But when Sarah Michelle Gellar found herself in the similar position of an outcast with different obligations from her classmates, she couldn't find an effective method for dealing with some of the most fearsome foes she would ever face: junior high students armed with insane wealth. Gellar was accepted into a prestigious private school in New York, where much of her tuition was funded with scholarship money. This was not the case for her peers. "I was different and that's the one thing you can't be at school, because you're ostracized. I didn't have the money these kids had," she told The Independent. "I can remember this kid having an engraved Tiffany money-clip when I barely had enough money for my bus pass."
Unfortunately for Gellar, being in a lower economic class than her classmates wasn't her only issue. "I hated it. I was the girl nobody liked, who was weird and quirky," she said in The Washington Post. She was also working at the time, so missing class constantly to go to auditions didn't make it any easier for her to make friends — and it served as another reminder of how different her life was from those of her classmates. "I think 'tortured' would be the word you'd be looking for to describe that time," she told the Daily Record in 2001.
She has scoliosis
In a 2011 interview with Health, Sarah Michelle Gellar revealed that one reason she loves Pilates is that the exercise helps alleviate pain caused by a condition she's had since childhood. "I grew up with, and I still have, major scoliosis," she revealed. Scoliosis is a curvature of the spine, per MayoClinic. Cases that are more severe can gradually worsen, causing back discomfort. As scoliosis progresses, it can affect other parts of the body, making the hips, shoulders, and ribs uneven.
"Divergent" star Shailene Woodley also had scoliosis when she was younger, and she told WebMD that she wore a brace to straighten her spine out. Gellar didn't say whether she did the same, but did share her erroneous belief that her behavior caused her scoliosis. "Growing up in Manhattan, you had your schoolbag, but we were so trend-conscious, nobody wanted to put a backpack on both shoulders, so almost all the girls I grew up with have it to some degree, because we all were so lopsided," she said in Health. However, according to WebMD, most scoliosis is genetic. A smaller percentage of cases are caused by certain diseases or injuries.
According to Gellar, she used her condition as an excuse to skip school to go to auditions. "I had more absences in the first month than you're supposed to have in an entire year," she told The Washington Post. "I was telling them I had back problems and had to go to doctors all the time."
Working with Susan Lucci was difficult for her
Sarah Michelle Gellar was 15 years old when she joined the cast of "All My Children." She played the long-lost daughter of Susan Lucci's iconic character Erica Kane, the savage serial bride with a proclivity for drama and villainy. Instead of becoming like a mentor to Gellar, Lucci reportedly behaved more like her character by making the teen miserable. "It was not the ... easiest situation on the show," Gellar told Rolling Stone in 1998. "I'm being polite by not saying what I'd like to say."
Gellar won a daytime Emmy for her work on the soap opera in 1995 — four years before Lucci did. By the time the veteran actor finally received one of the awards, Gellar had stepped away from the series and was pursuing other opportunities. In an episode of E!'s "Revealed," Gellar said that she'd been desperate to get out of her contract, which had already prevented her from starring in the comedy "Clueless."
According to Deseret News, Gellar didn't seem enthusiastic about congratulating Lucci on her win in 1999. "It's public knowledge that we did not have the easiest working relationship," she said. Gellar further explained that she had a hard time dealing with the tension on set because she'd never experienced similar issues with other co-stars, and she shared the valuable lesson she learned from the ordeal: "Sometimes two people just shouldn't work together, and that's an instance where we probably should not work together again."
She's dealt with a lot of toxicity as a woman in Hollywood
Sarah Michelle Gellar put a stake through the heart of the notion that women can't be action stars, but while she was celebrated for bringing some badass chick energy to the small screen on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," she revealed that certain men were working to thwart the female forces of good. "For so long, I was on a set that I think was known for being an extremely toxic male set," Gellar said during a roundtable at TheWrap's 2022 Power of Women Summit. Gellar added that her experiences early in her career made her assume that it was normal for friendships to be discouraged among female actors and for women to view each other as adversaries. She didn't name names, but she'd previously expressed her support for her "Buffy" co-star Charisma Carpenter, who had accused the series creator, Joss Whedon, of creating such an environment. In a 2021 Instagram post, Carpenter claimed that Whedon made cruel comments about the show's cast and tried to turn the actors against each other.
In a 2022 interview with The New York Times, Gellar explained that she was reticent to go into detail about some of her own negative experiences growing up female in Hollywood because she feared how people would react. "In this world where people get torn apart, and victim blaming and shaming, I just keep my stories in here," said the "Do Revenge" star.
Playing Buffy was physically and emotionally taxing
While Sarah Michelle Gellar's decision to leave "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" in 2003 was the show's final nail in the coffin, she endured a lot to keep the series on the air for six years – including being forced to face her fear of being trapped inside a coffin. Gellar told Rolling Stone, "I have an irrational fear of cemeteries and being buried alive." Unfortunately, spending a lot of time around gravestones was unavoidable since Buffy's main foes were the undead, and eventually Buffy ended up being entombed herself. Gellar tried to get out of shooting the traumatizing scene, but her plea never made it past the producer's ears. "They basically made me do it, and I was hysterical. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done for my job, ever," she said. "I cried the whole way home. It was horrible."
The stunt work Gellar's role required also took its toll on her body. In a 2013 tweet, she revealed that she fractured one of her feet and broke a finger during filming. But according to the actor, breaking her ribs was the worst injury she suffered.
While speaking about her long workdays, Gellar recalled to Self, "No actor had worse hours than I did." She got so exhausted at one point that the show's writers stepped in to help her out. "One time, literally, they turned me into a rat so I could get a break," she told HuffPost.
She mourned the loss of two father figures
Sarah Michelle Gellar played Robin Williams' onscreen daughter in "The Crazy Ones," which wasn't just a dream come true because she got to work alongside a comedic genius. After Robin died by suicide in 2014, she paid tribute to her co-star in a heartbreaking statement. "To me he was not just an inspiration but he was the father I had always dreamed of having," she said, per E! News. "I will miss him everyday." Having had no relationship with her own father, Gellar told YourTango that she enjoyed the dynamic between Robin and his daughter, Zelda Williams. She also suggested that working with him tested her acting skills, as he made it hard not to break character. "It's sort of like when my 3 year old says something really inappropriate and it's really funny, but I can't laugh. That's kind of like working with Robin," she said.
Gellar decided to take a hiatus from acting after Robin's death, telling People that it deepened her desire to spend more time with her children, Charlotte and Rocky. Sadly, before she returned to acting in the 2022 movie "Do Revenge" and the Paramount+ series "Wolf Pack," Gellar experienced another devastating loss. In a 2020 Instagram post, she mourned her "All My Children" co-star John Callahan. "He stepped into a lot of moments in my life because I didn't have a father to be there," Gellar wrote. "I want the world to know how much you meant to so many people."
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988 or by calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Sarah Michelle Gellar has body dysmorphia
In a 2011 interview with Health, Sarah Michelle Gellar shared that she regularly avoided looking at her own reflection — so much so, a makeup artist picked up on it. "I totally have body dysmorphic disorder," Gellar continued. "I think most women do." According to MayoClinic, those grappling with the condition obsess over something about their appearance they view as a flaw to the point that it can cause them severe anxiety and stress. They may also become preoccupied with trying to hide the feature or features that they don't like, or even undergo cosmetic procedures to change their appearance.
While Gellar told Health that she became less fixated on her appearance after becoming a mom, she later confessed to the Express that she was unhappy with the way her body looked after giving birth twice. "Obviously, your body expands in that middle region. To create life is amazing, but then it's hard to get back to where you were," she explained. She revealed that she also felt public pressure to lose the weight she gained during her pregnancies. "I tried to block it out as much as I could but I'd be lying if I said those comments didn't hurt or that I was immune to them," she said. In addition to working out, she admitted to undergoing cool sculpting treatments to get her body looking the way she wanted it to look.
She experienced postpartum depression
After Sarah Michelle Gellar gave birth to her first child, Charlotte, in 2009, the actor gushed to People, "Every day I look at her and I am in awe." She also said she was glad that she waited until she was in her 30s to start a family because she felt like she was better prepared for parenthood. "Becoming a parent is the most selfless act, and you need to be at a point in your life where you can give up anything and everything for a child," she explained. But sometimes life can throw a wrench into best-laid plans, and Gellar found herself facing a challenge her maturity couldn't prepare her for. "I love my children more than anything in the world. But like a lot of women, I too struggled with postpartum depression after my first baby was born," Gellar wrote in a 2017 Facebook post. Postpartum depression can cause exhaustion, anxiety, bouts of crying, and other extreme mood changes. Mothers struggling with the distressing condition may also feel a lack of attachment to their newborns.
But Gellar assured other moms going through what she did that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. "I got help, and made it through, and every day since has been the best gift I could ever have asked for," she wrote. "To those of you going through this, know that you're not alone and that it really does get better."
If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.
She had to have jaw surgery after going into labor
Both of Sarah Michelle Gellar's birth stories are pretty hardcore. She told People (via Page Six) that she didn't realize she was going into labor when she was pregnant with her daughter, Charlotte, which might be because she was already aching all over when her labor pains started. According to the actor, she experienced a bout of nausea while working out with her trainer, who suggested that her baby might be on the way. Luckily, Gellar didn't have to start pushing in the middle of a Pilates session — she made it back home and got a little rest before it was really showtime. "She was very calm, very centered, very prepared. I'm telling you, this girl is like Gandhi. It was like, three pushes and the baby was out," her husband, Freddie Prinze Jr., recalled.
After that easy, breezy birth, the arrival of Gellar's second child three years later must have been a real shock to the system. On "The Late Show with David Letterman," she recounted how she feared that she might give birth on the freeway, making it to the hospital mere minutes before she and Prinze Jr. welcomed their son, Rocky, to the world. While she didn't labor long, she recalled, "I think I yelled so loud that I actually fractured my jaw. True story. I had to have surgery afterwards." Even the "Buffy" writers couldn't come up with a tale that horrifying.
Her son's health scare
Sarah Michelle Gellar was beside herself with worry when she had to make her first ER trip as a mom in 2017. In an emotional Instagram post, she revealed that her son, Rocky, had to spend the night at the hospital. "I'm not going to lie, watching your child not be able to breathe, is the most helpless I have ever felt," she wrote. She revealed that the culprit of his health scare was a really bad virus, and she applauded his little sister, Charlotte, for keeping him company until he was well enough to go home.
The "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star is very protective of her kids, which made it challenging for her to return to work after taking a long break. She told Us Weekly that she wants to lead by example, demonstrating to her children that it's possible to successfully juggle a career and parenthood, but she can't help but feel guilty about spending time away from her family. "There's something about physically not being there that is very hard for me," she said. Even when she is at home, she sometimes finds it difficult to relax, unwind, and enjoy her time with her kids. She told PopSugar in 2022, "I think my hardest challenges are the ones I put on myself and the pressure that I put on myself to get it all right and be everything to everyone."
The asthma sufferer couldn't avoid COVID-19
When the pandemic hit, Sarah Michelle Gellar had to take extra precautions. The actor and both of her kids have asthma, which increases their likelihood of having to be hospitalized if they catch COVID-19. "Anyone with asthma knows that breathing is a challenge and it's something that we have to think about," Gellar told Health. "If we were to get COVID, my body would have a harder time fighting that." During the early days of the pandemic, hospitals were also overwhelmed, so Gellar and her kids had to become extra-vigilant about their health in order to avoid visits to the doctor. "We really had to learn how to be self diagnosticians at the same time, and really verbalize how we are feeling and what's happening to our bodies," she told People.
While Gellar made a valiant effort to avoid the coronavirus, she eventually came down with the virus in 2022. "Even with therapeutics and all my protocols it's been tough," she wrote on her Instagram Story, per ET. She also informed her followers that the symptoms she was experiencing were far worse than those of a cold, writing, "To quote a friend of mine — 'I will wear a mask in my shower if that means I don't get this again.'" After she recovered, she took to Instagram to reveal that she was experiencing some strange after-effects: an aversion to alcohol and coffee and a fondness for massive earrings.
Two of her best friends received devastating diagnoses
Sarah Michelle Gellar has had to watch two of her closest friends come to terms with heartbreaking diagnoses. After her "Cruel Intentions" co-star Selma Blair revealed that she had multiple sclerosis, Gellar opened up to Us Weekly about her friend's struggles. Gellar said she would often find herself thinking about how Blair was incapable of playing with her son the way that she used to and how difficult this must be for her. But she applauded her pal's strength and resilience, saying that she views Blair as an inspiration. "I think she's tougher than I ever thought," she stated. Blair was even able to be Gellar's rock in October 2019 when the Getty fire came so close to Gellar's home that she and her family had to evacuate the premises. "I'm definitely scared and emotional," Gellar wrote on Instagram. However, running into Blair turned her frown upside down. "These moments remind me to be grateful for all the blessings I have, and Selma you are certainly one of them," she continued.
Gellar was also a source of support for "Beverly Hills, 90210" star Shannen Doherty when she was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. In a 2020 interview with ET, Gellar said, "Nobody ever wants to see their friend suffer." She also praised her pal for speaking out about her experience with the disease and shared the important lesson she learned from it: "We have to live for each moment, because there is a clock for everybody."