Melania Trump's Movie Premiere Was A Fashion Disaster For Everyone There

On January 29, the who's who of Trumplandia packed out the controversially re-christened Trump-Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., to tune into the world premiere of First Lady Melania Trump's brand new — *checks notes* — ahem, "creative experience."

"Some have called this a documentary. It is not," Melania warned the packed-out audience at the performing arts cultural center about her latest $40 million endeavor with Amazon MGM Studios, complete with a $35 million marketing budget. "It is a creative experience that offers perspectives, insights, and moments," she declared.

The dress code for the creative experience? Black and white cookies? Tuxedo cake? We can't be sure. Either way, the party goers' fashion choices didn't exactly do the film or the event any favors as they sashayed down the red black carpet, posing in front of a starkly lit step and repeat, emblazoned with Melania's moniker on it, while cloaked in the most heinous of fashions. 

For starters, let's discuss the leading lady's get-up for her big moment. First lady Melania Trump turned up at the premiere event for "Melania," wearing — you guessed it — an all-black, fitted Dolce and Gabbana skirt suit, complete with a pair of sky-high jet-black python Christian Louboutin pumps. 

Sadly, Melania's monochromatic look simply fell flat against the event's equally abysmal black-and-white background. Womp, womp, womppp.

Unfortunately, President Donald Trump and the husband of the film's muse looked downright out of place at the premiere event, sporting a dark navy, ill-fitting suit and a maroon tie. 

Come on, DJT. Everyone knows that in a sea of black, navy will always read faded and dingy. Perhaps he didn't get the black-and-white memo? That theory is actually entirely plausible, seeing as how he's let it slip before that he barely talks to Melania.

Speaking of not getting the dress code memo, rapper and proud new card-carrying "Trump Gold Card" recipient Nicki Minaj made quite the statement when she turned up at the movie premiere event in a dusty blue shirred, floor-length evening gown, complete with a keyhole cutout that left very little to the imagination. 

Something tells us that in hindsight, this particular look will not be a moment Minaj wishes she could have for life. 

Ugh. Where do we even begin with the disaster that was Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and his third bride, Jennifer Hegseth?! Just when we thought it wasn't possible, the couple managed to look cringier than usual as they awkwardly posed. 

Poor Pete looked like he had just come straight from a cabinet meeting in his navy blue suit, while Jennifer looked like she had mistaken the evening's event for a New Year's Eve party, all decked out in a matronly black sequin jumpsuit with a cinched waist. Hey Jennifer, the 2000s called. They want their extra-wide belt back.