The Devastating Reason Carol Burnett's Marriage To Joe Hamilton Fell Apart

Carol Burnett may have made a career out of her quick wit, but that doesn't mean she's always been so eager to banter in real life. On the contrary, she's spoken very openly about going out of her way to avoid conflict — and sadly, she's even said her 21-year marriage to Joe Hamilton ended partly as a result of that.

Speaking to People in 1990, Burnett admitted that she had what she called "People Pleaser's Disease." Terrified by the prospect of upsetting anyone or wounding their ego, Burnett told the outlet that she'd started avoiding conflict as a kid and never grown out of it. "By the time I grew up, I was awfully scared to make any comments that would sound 'aggressive.' ... That kept me out of every problem, as I saw it," she mused. Burnett also spoke about being conflict avoidant in a 2011 interview with Piers Morgan for CNN. "I couldn't say no to anybody. I just wanted to be loved and liked ... you know?" she said. 

Of course, conflict avoidance doesn't exactly bode well for a strong relationship, and in her People interview, Burnett shared that her commitment to keeping things light and pleasant at all times did more harm than good. For one, she shared that when it came to disagreements at work, she'd ask Hamilton (who produced "The Carol Burnett Show") to handle it. She tried to avoid conflict with him at home, too. "I always wanted the children to see us as Ozzie and Harriet, and that was wrong. I lived with it, and at the same time it nagged at me. But mostly I ended up living with it, thinking that was the way it should be," she admitted. Burnett and Hamilton's divorce was finalized in 1984.

Despite all the years of people pleasing, after her divorce from Joe Hamilton, Carol Burnett got a ton of therapy, and she shared that she'd seen remarkable changes in herself as a result. "Nobody is going to drop dead if I tell them I don't like something. There's a way to explain how you feel in an honest, straightforward way, instead of stuffing your feelings. I'm finally learning to say 'I don't want to' or 'I'm not happy with this,'" she told People. 

Those changes were evident when a single Burnett did an interview with Joan Rivers. Saying that she really loved being able to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, Burnett concluded, "So if I ever got married again, he would have to live next door" (via MOR Music Clips). Rivers seemed sold on the idea herself, quipping in response, "Will you marry me?"

While it's sad things didn't work out with either of Burnett's ex-husbands (as some will know, she'd been married once before tying the knot with Hamilton, to her UCLA boyfriend Don Saroyan), it's also clear things worked out for the best. For one, she remained friendly with Hamilton even after they split. However, Burnett also went on to find lasting love with her third husband, Brian Miller. The couple wed in 2001, and despite a bigger age gap than some may think (Burnett has more than 20 years on her much-younger husband), she told People that's had no effect on their dynamic. "As we get older, the gap between our ages narrows. If you were 40 and married a 20-year-old, I don't think you could communicate like [we do]," she explained. Well, especially considering how people-pleasing affected her second marriage, it's great that healthy communication is at the center of Burnett's third.