The Real Reason Billie Eilish Feels 'Ashamed' And 'Embarrassed'

Billie Eilish is looking back on her quick shot to fame since the release of her 2019 debut album "When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?" and revealing why she's "ashamed" and "embarrassed" of her past.

As one of the most prominent members of Gen Z — and when you're a teen in general — it's tough to have every move you make so heavily documented when you're coming into who you really are as a person. "When you're a f***ing teenager, you don't really know yourself, so you're trying to figure yourself out," Eilish told Vogue Australia in a July 16 interview. "That was the hardest thing for me: I didn't actually know how I really felt. So I just came up with this facade that I stuck to." 

Elsewhere in the interview, Eilish got real about the price of fame — and particularly how her past mistakes still affect her today.

Billie Eilish's past haunts her

In June, Billie Eilish apologized to fans after an old video resurfaced of the artist singing an anti-Asian slur. The resurfaced memory was just one in a trail of past controversial moments to come from Eilish's internet footprint.

Speaking to Vogue Australia, Eilish opened up about the price of fame and how starting out in the music business as a teen often comes back to haunt her. "I said so many things then that I totally don't agree with now, or think the opposite thing," she explained. "The weirdest thing is how nothing ever goes away once it's on the internet. Every interview I did when I was 15 is still out there, and I think about it constantly."

"The internet brings up things from everybody's past and I'm like: 'Don't you guys understand that everybody is incredibly embarrassed and ashamed about their past?'" Eilish continued. "Like, do you not think about the fact that maybe you're embarrassed of your past, so maybe everybody else is embarrassed, too?" Per Vogue, Eilish recently reverted to not reading the comment section on social media, as things were "way worse than [they've] ever been." But, as she noted, "You can't really just not go on your phone for a week because you're having fun and you want to be in the moment, because if you do the internet is like: 'Where did she go? She's on hiatus.' I'm like: 'Dang, I'm just trying to have fun.'"