The Worst Things About Loretta Lynn's Marriage
The following article includes mentions of domestic abuse, addiction, and miscarriages.
Country music star Loretta Lynn has had a long career as a singer-songwriter that began in the 1960s and made her the music legend she is today. While her powerful songs still resonate with fans, you could say that her personal life made Lynn all the more interesting. The Grammy award winner, born Loretta Webb, grew up in poverty in Butcher Hollow, Kentucky, before she married her husband, Oliver "Dolittle" Lynn Jr., as a young teen and later became a star. Lynn's life has been full of so many personal challenges and professional victories that her autobiography, "Coal Miner's Daughter," became a national bestseller and later an Academy award-winning movie.
It was Lynn's marriage that seemingly caused her life the most drama, though. Not only did she marry when she was only a child, but their relationship was full of problems: abuse, cheating, and alcoholism, to name a few. Yet, it was Doolittle who encouraged Lynn to pursue music and who helped launch her career. She recalled to Time Out, "I was married for 13 years before I ever sung a song. He'd hear me rockin' the babies to sleep and singin'."
For a number of reasons, no matter how bad things got, Lynn never left her husband. So let's take a look at the things Loretta Lynn went through in her marriage that were the absolute worst.
Loretta Lynn's husband was abusive
Loretta Lynn was married to Oliver "Doolittle" Lynn for almost 50 years, but their marriage had some serious issues in that Doolittle was physically abusive. Loretta herself told CMT "Inside Fame" that she was first beaten by Doolittle only hours after their wedding when she jokingly called him a w**re, not knowing what it meant. She recalled, "I said 'shut the door you little w**re,' just rhyming a line... so he come back, just put me over his lap and he busted my butt."
That was only the beginning of the violence Loretta Lynn would experience throughout their marriage. She had another incident (according to Biography) where he smashed a jar of green beans when dinner was late. Lynn inadvertently knocked out Doo's teeth one time, and she recalled her fear to PBS in the documentary "Loretta Lynn: Still a Mountain Girl": "I heard teeth hittin' the floor and thought, 'Ooh, I'm dead. [He's] not gonna put up with this.'"
It seems that Lynn eventually got used to having to defend herself. Though the abuse must have taken its toll, she never left Doolittle. The singer explained to CBS News, "I didn't need him but he was my kids' daddy. Why leave hearts laying on the floor for me." She seemingly felt that she could handle it, claiming to CMT, "I'm made out of tough stuff. But he didn't beat up on me without me hitting him back."
If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.
Doolittle had a drinking problem
It's no secret that Loretta Lynn's husband, Oliver "Doolittle" Lynn, was a heavy drinker. This was supposedly the cause of a lot of their other problems, like his philandering and his disappearing on his family for weeks at a time. Lynn recalled to CMT "Inside Fame," "It was day to day that I'd just think, 'Well he'll come in tomorrow, he'll be home tomorrow.' This went on for two weeks."
When Doolittle would come home, he'd continue drinking, which would often lead to violence. Even after Lynn became famous, the same problems remained. She explained to Nashville Scene, "I never knew what I was comin' home to. I didn't know if I was comin' home to fightin' or what. ... Doo drank a lot."
Because of Doolittle's drinking, the singer admitted that she sometimes preferred life on the road. She confessed to CBS News, "It was real lonely. I felt sometimes it was better to be on the bus than to be home... because he was drinking so much." Lynn did manage to channel her pain into her music, though, including her song "Don't Come Home A-Drinkin'." "Doo would always try to figure out which line was for him, and 90 percent of the time every line in there was for him," she told Nashville Scene.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Doolittle Lynn cheated on Loretta Lynn
Even before marrying Loretta Lynn, Oliver "Doolittle" Lynn Jr. was known as a womanizer. According to CMT "Inside Fame," his reputation was why Loretta's parents didn't want her to marry him. They proved to be somewhat right because only a few months into the Lynns' marriage, Doolittle briefly left a pregnant Loretta for another woman, sending her back home. When he eventually returned to her, the singer revealed, "Daddy really got tore up about it, they didn't know I was going to go back to him."
Unfortunately, Doolittle would have several affairs, even sleeping with Loretta Lynn's brother's wife (via CBS News). But the "I'm a Honky Tonk Girl" singer wouldn't go down without a fight, in some cases, literally. She told The Wall Street Journal that her daughter once said, "Momma, the bus driver told me she went out with daddy." Lynn claimed, "I went right into action. ... I went for the hair. She was bigger than me, but I held my own."
Lynn used her feelings toward her husband's cheating to write songs. Her single "Fist City" in particular was about taking down "a real woman in Tennessee who was making eyes at Doolittle while I was a-singing on the stage," she wrote in "Loretta Lynn: Coal Miners' Daughter." The star continued, "I let her know she was gonna get a mouthful of knuckles if she kept it up." Lynn felt her love for Doolittle made it all worth it, telling Time, "If you can't fight for your man, he's not worth having."
Loretta Lynn's husband was controlling
Despite her reputation for championing women, it appears that Loretta Lynn felt controlled by men, especially her husband, Oliver "Doolittle" Lynn. The singer wrote in "Coal Miner's Daughter" that she was never on her own, going immediately from her father to her husband. She told Time Out that even after Doolittle's death, "You feel like you're still under that same control... You don't change. I'm doing what I think he would like." Doolittle managed Loretta's music career and was the one who made her perform in the first place. She recalled, "He said, 'You're just as good or better as most of them girls that are singin' and makin' money, so let's make us some money.'"
Lynn revealed to Nashville Scene that she didn't have much say in the matter at first. "Doo said, 'You can sing for two years and we'll buy us a new home and we'll get out of the business.' Why, two years from the time I started singin', I was eatin' one hamburger a day on the road. I remember how hard it was," she recalled.
While Lynn told Time Out that Doolittle "was the boss, and that's the way it was," she eventually began to stand up for herself as she became more successful. She told Nashville Scene, "I [started] speakin' my mind when things weren't right." However, she never broke Doolittle's control, telling CBS News, "There was no decision I ever made without talking it over with him."
She married young, against her parents' wishes
Loretta Lynn's marriage may have been doomed from the start. The initial bad sign was probably that her parents didn't want her to marry Oliver "Doolittle" Lynn in the first place. She revealed on CMT "Inside Fame" that after she met him, they told her, "You're never to see that boy again. He's too old and he's too wild." Because of that, Lynn's mother "didn't sign the papers, she didn't go to the wedding," and "she didn't want her daughter marrying young," Lynn's sister, Crystal Gale, told CMT. When it came to her father, the singer recalled, "My daddy never did accept Doo very well." It probably didn't help that Doolittle also immediately broke his promises to her father to never hit Loretta or take her away from her family.
Loretta Lynn was so young. Lynn herself has said she was only 13 when she tied the knot to a then 21-year-old Doolittle, but she reportedly was almost 16 at the time (via The Hollywood Reporter). Either way, she was still a child bride, who was apparently in way over her head, telling CMT, "I didn't even know what marrying was. I found out."
It wasn't the only thing Lynn didn't understand. She revealed (via Esquire), "When I got married, I didn't even know what pregnant meant." She continued, "I was five months pregnant when I went to the doctor and he said, 'You're gonna have a baby.' I said, 'No way.'"
Doolittle didn't care for the kids
Loretta Lynn had six children with her husband, Oliver "Doolittle" Lynn, but it appears that he wasn't very involved in taking care of them. According to CMT "Inside Fame," when she was 18 and already had four kids, her husband moved the family to Washington, far away from her parents in Kentucky. Once there, Doolittle would leave Loretta on her own to care for them for weeks at a time. She recalled being destitute at one point: "We ate dandelions, me and the kids, for almost two weeks." While she admitted that she should have returned home, she stated, "How can you go 3,000 miles with four kids and no money?"
Even when Loretta Lynn became a star, Doolittle didn't step up to care for the children, instead hiring a housekeeper to do so (via CBS News). This was hard on the kids, with daughter Betty Sue remembering, "I would cry for her. It was difficult." The songwriter felt the same way, telling Time Out, "That was my worst thing, having to leave the kids when I went on the road."
Her struggles did lead to one of her famous songs, "The Pill," which was about how hard it was having children so young "when you're trying to make a living yourself," she explained to Time Out. In terms of Doolittle, she said, "When he got paid, he spent it on Doo. It wasn't spent on me and the kids."
She suffered through miscarriages, medical issues alone
Since Loretta Lynn's husband Oliver didn't have a big part in caring for their six children, it's no surprise that he wasn't really there for the "You're Looking at Country" singer when she gave birth. Lynn revealed in her book, "Coal Miner's Daughter," that she "had to wash out diapers and draw water from the well, less than twenty-four hours after delivering" her first child, suggesting that Doolittle didn't step up in her time of need.
Lynn wrote, "After I had that second baby, I had two miscarriages." Not only is that traumatic alone, but she also "almost died of blood poisoning." While that wasn't Doolittle's fault, his lifestyle surely didn't help, since he was unable to provide for his family. "I didn't go to the hospital ... because we didn't have the money — and when they discovered I had blood poisoning, it was almost too late," Lynn shared.
Lynn needed a cesarean to deliver her third baby, but she couldn't get one since Doolittle was nowhere to be found to sign the consent form for his underage wife. She recalled, "...he was off in the woods on a logging job. They put me in the hospital for three days and kept me under medicine." By the time he called in, she had delivered. According to Country Thang Daily, it was these crazy experiences that led Lynn to sing "One's On the Way," which was about the struggles of frequently being pregnant.
Their relationship was toxic
Loretta Lynn and Oliver "Doolittle" Lynn had a harmful relationship that consisted of domestic abuse and infidelity. Despite it all, Loretta remained loyal to Doolittle to a fault. She admitted to CBS News, "If I knew how my life would have been, no, I wouldn't do it over again ...it's been a tough life for me." But she explained why she stayed: "I had to think of my kids. ... He broke my heart lots of time but that woulda broke the kids' hearts."
Loretta Lynn credits Doolittle for her music career, even though she did all the work. She wrote in her memoir, "Still Woman Enough," "Whatever else our marriage was back in them days... without Doo and his drive to get a better life, there would have been no Loretta Lynn, country singer." Lynn was apparently always able to look past Doolittle's toxic traits because she really loved him. She gushed on Instagram, "We fought hard and we loved hard. ... He's the only man I ever loved."
In 1996, Lynn was by her husband's side when he died from complications of diabetes. She later told CBS News, "I miss everything about him." The singer reiterated that to Time Out, saying, "I think I see him everywhere I'm at, and everything at home and everywhere I'm goin'." While there were many horrible and unhealthy aspects to Lynn's marriage, only she and Doolittle truly know what they shared.
If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.