Inside Tori Spelling And Dean McDermott's Relationship

Actor and reality TV star Tori Spelling's relationship with Dean McDermott seems to be unpredictable, the couple perhaps destined for trouble from the beginning, given the questionable way they got together. Both Spelling and McDermott were married to other people when they first met, but this didn't stop them from getting close to each other. After divorcing their then-partners, the pair eventually got married and welcomed five kids together.

Much of Spelling and McDermott's relationship has been documented on the hit Lifetime reality TV show, "True Tori," which gives fans of the couple a first-hand look at their relationship struggles. In 2017, Spelling explained to People how her relationship with McDermott had evolved over the years. "I look back and I remember doing interviews probably seven years ago ... I was like, 'It's easy, we don't have to work at it. We have this great marriage,'" she said. "11 years later, I'm like, 'It's a lot of work.' It takes work and I took that for granted — I think we both did. We thought, 'Oh, our relationship just works,' and the truth is, no relationship just works."

Spelling and McDermott's many public relationship scandals suggest their marriage certainly does "take a lot of work." Still, from infidelity to rumors of divorce, the couple has stuck with each other through it all. A look inside their relationship reveals that they've overcome many problems throughout their marriage.

Did the stars begin dating while they were still married?

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott met on the set of "Mind Over Murder" in 2005. At the time, Spelling was still married to Charlie Shanian and McDermott was married to Mary Jo Eustace. However, the two seemed to be drawn to each other, and McDermott and Spelling tied the knot less than a month after she split from Shanian. This raises the question: Did the co-stars begin dating while they were still married to other people? 

The answer is simple. Yes, they did. Spelling even opened up about her infidelity during the Season 2 premiere of "True Tori." It turns out the reality TV star and McDermott cheated on their partners the first night they met.

During the episode, Spelling revealed how she felt about her husband cheating with Emily Goodhand, and how her emotions were impacted by her own previous infidelity. "Maybe I have a hard time with that part [blaming Emily] because that's how I met Dean," she said (via ET). "I mean, he was married. ... We had sex the first night we met." Spelling continued on about how she "fell" for McDermott almost immediately. "It wasn't like, 'oh, just get your rocks off, have sex with someone just to have sex,' you know?" she explained. "It was a conscious decision, like, fell head over heels for you."

Tori Spelling forgave Dean McDermott after he cheated

In 2013, Us Weekly revealed that Dean McDermott had cheated on Tori Spelling with a woman he met while filming the TV show "Chopped Canada." The woman, Emily Goodhand, seemingly had no intentions of keeping their interaction a secret, as she shared all its details with Us Weekly. "He told me he and Tori had a sexless marriage," she said of McDermott. "I believed him." This very public affair was later discussed on "True Tori," where Spelling empathized with Goodhand. The actor talked about how people may believe McDermott's cheating was "karma" due to her own history. "Dean and I met when we were both married to other people, so now that this has happened to me, I know a lot of people are like, 'Well, karma's a b***h,'" Spelling explained (via ET).

Spelling was able to forgive McDermott, though it wasn't easy. During an appearance on the "Women On Top" podcast, she revealed that her children became aware of the cheating scandal from the internet. The mother of five said it "really upset" her daughter.

Still, the former "Saved by the Bell" star and her husband were able to move on. "This ... rocked our foundation and we have no choice," Spelling said during the podcast. "We either start over or move on. ... Everybody out there was like, 'F**k him ... and I was like, 'I love this man and I have children with this man and everyone makes mistakes.'"

The couple didn't pay their taxes

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott have also faced financial trouble throughout their relationship. In 2016, Spelling was sued by American Express for having nearly $38,000 in debt. By that point, the family had been facing financial struggles for years. Back in 2013, Spelling explained how her and McDermott's income changed after stepping away from reality TV, reported People. "We're in the entertainment business, and things change year to year," she said. "We don't have a series on the air right now, so we have to be more restrictive of what we can spend, just like anyone who doesn't currently have a steady job."

It appears the family may have taken a huge financial hit after they moved on from reality TV, because in 2016, it was also revealed that Spelling and McDermott owed $259,000 in taxes they failed to pay. According to People, legal documents showed that the state of California issued the couple a tax lien for taxes that should have been paid in 2014.

The celebrity couple seemed to have a bit of trouble paying those debts, with The U.S. Sun reporting they still owed over $1 million in debt as of 2020. The outlet claimed a Los Angeles court clerk revealed Spelling and McDermott's hefty federal and state tax liens dating back to 2016 were still unpaid.

Dean McDermott called the police on Tori Spelling

Many "True Tori" fans know that Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling's relationship could get super intense at times. On March 8, 2018, however, things escalated a concerning amount. 

TMZ reported that McDermott called the police on Spelling due to concerns for her well-being. The exact details of the incident were not reported, but TMZ shared that McDermott made the 911 call when Spelling left home with one of their children. Ventura County Police later found Spelling in a building in Thousand Oaks, California. Officers spoke to Spelling in a doctor's office and determined she was safe. No arrests were made and neither McDermott nor Spelling ever publicly spoke on the incident. Still, some may find it concerning that this was not the only time McDermott called the police about Spelling. On March 1, 2018, TMZ reported that McDermott called the police because Spelling was having a "mental breakdown." The outlet claimed McDermott reported his wife was behaving aggressively. 

TMZ also alleged that a source said Spelling had called police earlier that week because she believed someone was breaking into her home, but it turned out to be her husband. According to People, a source claimed that Spelling's behavior was the result of anxiety. They said that she "internalizes a lot of her anxiety and she knows it's not healthy for her. Of course she's going to get to a breaking point eventually."

Tori Spelling was photographed without her wedding ring

In March 2021, it seemed like the couple's relationship had finally reached its breaking point, and rumors of their divorce swirled. 

Tori Spelling further fueled those rumors when she was spotted without her wedding ring on her finger. According to the Daily Mail, Spelling seemingly left her ring behind during an outing with her little ones. The "True Tori" star and her husband, Dean McDermott, were spending some time apart during that time, which explains why he wasn't in the photos. At the time the picture was taken, McDermott was in Canada filming the TV show, "Lady Dicks."

When the "Chopped Canada" star returned home, he responded to the divorce rumors that spawned from his absence. "It's just weird that people need to know," McDermott said on an episode of the "Feminine Warrior" podcast. "'What's going on with Tori and Dean? She's not wearing her ring.' Why do you need to know that? How is that going to affect your day?" Interestingly, McDermott did not confirm or deny they were divorcing. "I don't reply anymore," he said. "It's just like, 'OK, if that's what you want to think, then think it.'"

They sleep in separate beds

Their relationship also garnered some media attention when Tori Spelling shared that she and her husband don't sleep in the same bedroom. 

During an interview on "Jeff Lewis Live," Spelling was asked if she still shares a bed with Dean McDermott, given their marriage difficulties. She responded: "You know what? Right now, my kids and dogs sleep in my bed, Since [McDermott] left — this is not good, you guys — but since he left [and] he was gone for six months filming in another country, they all stayed with me. So I currently still have four in the bedroom with me who have yet to go back to their rooms." This was also around the time that Spelling was spotted without her wedding ring, so the fact that McDermott was not sleeping in the same room as her did not help the divorce rumors.

Spelling's revelation seemed to be a fairly new development at the time, as, a few years prior, the couple's relationship drama appeared to be a thing of the past. In 2019, McDermott told Hollywood Life about his podcast, "Daddy Issues," and how his relationship with Spelling was "better than ever." He also gushed about his wife's support. "I have no regrets, because what the podcast has enabled me to do is to go in and correct things, correct misquotes, correct false stories," the actor said. "Aside from being my wife and loving me, she is my biggest fan, and my biggest supporter."

Dean McDermott missed out on family holiday festivities

In November 2021, Spelling shocked her Instagram followers when she shared a holiday card that only featured her and her children. People quickly noticed that Dean McDermott was missing from the photo, and — given the couple's tumultuous relationship — can we really blame the fans who jumped to the worst conclusion? Luckily, the social media post was not a holiday-themed divorce announcement. There was a much more reasonable explanation for McDermott's absence — he was simply out of town when the photo was taken.

According to ET, one of Spelling's followers left a comment under the holiday card that read: "Dean must be 'working' out of town and couldn't get home in time for the annual Christmas picture." To which Spelling responded: "Face: @imdeanmcdermott was filming his new feature film in Canada." 

This was not the only holiday festivity McDermott would miss that year, either. He was also absent from another family holiday photo Spelling shared on Instagram.

Did Tori Spelling file for divorce?

In November 2021, a source told E! News that Spelling was planning on filing for divorce. "The marriage is over and has been for a very long time now," they alleged. "Tori has met with her lawyers and is planning to file very soon. She's trying to work it all out and make sure she is financially OK first." These claims were possibly confirmed a month earlier, when Spelling was photographed outside of a lawyer's office.

Of course, she could have been visiting the lawyer for any number of reasons not related to her marriage, though the photos suggested she was potentially meeting about filing a divorce. According to Page Six, the actor was seen holding a notebook that read: "Pig pen — get quote, AAA Jump Start Van, 3pm Lawyer — assets — support — custody." 

Back then, those photos seemed to be a sure sign the separation rumors about the couple were true, however, there have been no public updates on the status of a possible divorce for Spelling and McDermott since then. So, for now, the fate of the stars' relationship is still unknown.

Dean McDermott is 'so blessed' to have his wife

The couple confused fans even further when Dean McDermott posted a touching tribute to his wife and children for International Women's Day. The heartfelt Instagram post followed those divorce rumors — and the photos of Spelling visiting a lawyer. The carousel featured McDermott and Spelling's daughters, as well as multiple pics of Spelling herself. The father captioned the photo: "Happy International Women's Day to these incredibly smart, creative, strong, fierce and funny Women. I'm so blessed to have you in my life. I love you So Much!!"

In November 2021, McDermott was also seen without his wedding ring, leading many to think his relationship with Spelling was truly over. Around that same time, however, the couple took their kids on a family trip to Disneyland and seemed to be having a good time. They were reportedly cordial enough to keep their cool around their children. 

The Disney trip, and McDermott's Instagram post, suggest the couple is on good terms, even if there is a possibility they are no longer in a relationship.