The Truth About Katie Maloney And Tom Schwartz's Relationship

"Vanderpump Rules" has been on air since 2013, and there have been more hookups and breakups than we can possibly hope to count. Lisa Vanderpump's "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" spinoff series follows the interpersonal lives of a group of fabulous waiters and bartenders at her West Hollywood restaurants. Or at least, it did before they all got rich and became reality TV personalities instead of struggling service-industry workers. While Stassi Schroeder and Jax Taylor broke up, through Tom Sandoval and Kristen Doute's neverending relationship fallout, through a Scheana Shay wedding and quick divorce, only one couple remained consistent: Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney.

"Katie Maloney, you're the love of my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," the TomTom owner said, down on one knee in a Season 4 episode. Katie, who had given her floppy-haired boyfriend an engagement ultimatum that he blew right through, said yes. Their relationship, though, hasn't been a fairy tale; although their relationship's length far outweighs their friends', they have had their ups and downs, their arguments, and their cheating scandals, just like everyone else in the "Vanderpump" cast. Read on for the truth about Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz's relationship.

Tom Schwartz got confused during their first blind date

Before the reality show that would make them famous was a mere glimmer in Andy Cohen's eye, Katie Maloney's SUR coworker (and future "Vanderpump Rules" co-star) Kristen Doute introduced her to Tom Schwartz, then a "mactor" — a model-slash-actor. Schwartz was living with another Tom — Tom Sandoval — who Kristen was dating at the time, and she figured he would get along great with her friend Katie. Schwartz didn't quite get the memo, though, and apparently brought someone else to the hangout where he was supposed to be meeting his future girlfriend. Katie later recalled to Bravo's "Daily Dish" that, "He had a girl with him, that was the funny part was that finally I'm meeting this guy that supposedly wants to meet me, that's so perfect for me, and he's got a girl with him." Schwartz's own memory of the event is a little more harsh. "The very first night there was no spark," he said. "But the second night I was introduced to her and given a little backstory, that's when it clicked."

On a 2020 episode of Katie's podcast "You're Gonna Love Me" where she interviewed her partner, she recalled how she made the relationship official. "​​I basically asked you to be my boyfriend and you said, 'Well, I don't know if I'll be a very good boyfriend, but I'm down to give it a shot,'" she reminded Tom.

The early years of VPR

In the early years of "Vanderpump Rules," Tom Schwartz was more of a friend-of rather than a full cast member; he appeared on screen mostly in the context of being Katie Maloney's boyfriend and Tom Sandoval's roommate, and he didn't even make it into the group shot in the infamous slow-mo opening credits. Though he still hadn't been promoted to full-time cast member status by Season 2, Schwartz was fully involved in the drama. In a shocking episode set in Mexico for Stassi Schroeder's group birthday trip, the two argued over a comment from Scheana Shay that Katie might have a drinking problem. Schwartz defended Scheana from Katie's anger, leading Katie to ask her boyfriend, "Why do you insist on humiliating me?"

In a shocking moment, the fight then culminated in Schwartz dumping a drink on his girlfriend's head while telling her, "F*** off, man." While her friends dried her with napkins, Katie realized aloud, "I have this relationship all wrong. This relationship is so ... this relationship is f***ed, man."

Schwartz apologized, and the two were able to rebuild their relationship. Years later, on "Watch What Happens Live," the man who played a fairy in the background of a "True Blood" episode told Andy Cohen that he still made amends for the drink-tossing incident. "I have thoroughly [apologized]," he insisted. "I do on a weekly basis." 

Tom Schwartz walked off a job

By the third season of "Vanderpump Rules," Tom Schwartz joined the cast full time. However, after donning the bar's trademark pink shirt and loose tie, he walked off the job his first day after suffering from a panic attack. "I was crippled with the fear of not being able to keep tabs/make drinks/make service drinks/chat with customers, etc.," he wrote for a Bravo blog. "I started to get into a negative thought loop, which eventually led to shallow breathing, which soon escalated into a full-on panic attack."

The show has had some questionable approaches to mental health over the years, and this incident was no different. As the New York Post noted, Lisa Vanderpump called her instantly-fired employee a "p***y" for not being able to handle the pressure. She wasn't the only one; Katie was unhappy with her man and laid into him during an argument at home, saying she felt embarrassed for having asked Lisa to give him a job. "If we have kids, what, are you gonna have a panic attack?" she snapped, before adding sarcastically, "My boyfriend couldn't handle his bartending job, but he's gonna be a great father."

"This makes me so mad! If Schwarz genuinely had a panic attack, then Lisa is being extremely insensitive," one fan wrote on Reddit.

They share a nickname

Anyone who has watched a bit of "Vanderpump Rules" that includes both Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz knows what we're about to say: the two really, and we mean really love to call each other "Bubba." 

In a behind-the-scenes feature for Bravo, the couple discussed the origin of the nickname. Katie told the cameras that it came about early on, before they were on television. "Bubba started from babe," she explained. "And then it went from Babe to Baby to Bebe... to Bub to Bubs to Bubba." Language sure does evolve! Schwartz pointed out that it wasn't just a random, but a nickname that worked for them. "It felt right without thinking about it too much or dissecting it," he said. Before their marriage, Katie joked, "I can't wait to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz," and it frequently shows up in her Instagram captions for her husband.

The word has ricocheted around the Bravo-verse, and it figured into one of the couple's most explosive fights: the aftermath of cheating allegations. In a 2018 episode of the show, Lala revealed that a friend of hers claimed to have made out with Schwartz while he was drunk, and that he called her Bubba. Katie told Us Weekly that she was particularly upset with that detail, explaining, "That really is our name for each other. For this girl to insinuate that he was mistaking her for me or that he was, you know ... that's what grossed me out."

Lisa Vanderpump officiated their wedding

It famously took forever for Tom Schwartz to propose to Katie Maloney. At Scheana Shay's wedding, Schwartz got his girlfriend alone and took out a jewelry box, leading Katie to fear he was about to propose at someone else's wedding. Instead, he pulled out a ring on a necklace, which Katie was not happy with. "It's not really what a girl pushing 30 wants to hear," she told him. "At this point in our relationship, a ring should have strings attached, not attached to a string. I felt like it was a pacifier without really having to make commitments," she wrote in a blog for Bravo.

An actual proposal followed, and in 2016 they were soon wed in front of their closest friends and family (and the Bravo television crew). The wedding was officiated by none other than the namesake of "VPR," Lisa Vanderpump herself. Reading out their vows, she asked Katie if she took Tom as her husband "for richer and for richer," drawing big laughs from the audience.

Afterwards, Lisa gave them her gift: a business proposal for Schwartz and his best friend, Tom Sandoval. She told the Toms that she and her husband were considering opening a new restaurant in West Hollywood, adding, "A bar always needs a face, and we were thinking of calling it TomTom." The commitment-phobic Schwartz immediately replied, "I can't let you do that. If it fails, it's on us!" He would ultimately come around, and TomTom was born. 

Their sex life is fodder for fights

The famously argumentative couple got into numerous on-camera fights over the course of their time on "Vanderpump Rules," with both members of the couple learning early how to push each other's buttons. One of Katie Maloney's favorite insults has to do with Tom Schwartz's manhood. In an argument leading up to their wedding (used to promote Season 5), she shouted after him, "Let's talk about how your d*** doesn't work." He fired back, "My d*** works great." 

Years later, on yet another group vacation to Mexico, Tom and Katie argued so loudly on their hotel balcony that their friends in nearby rooms could hear every word. On the same trip, Katie insulted the size of Tom's member, taunting, "Tom, your p**** is this long" (She held up her fingers close together to indicate the size). "It's just a nice, classic p****," Tom protested. Talking with his friends Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix after the fight, Schwartz reflected, "I don't like when Katie belittles my p****. It's nice." 

One of their worst sex-based arguments happened in Season 8, when Tom and Katie fought at Jax Taylor's 40th birthday party. "That's why I don't have sex with her," Schwartz spat, upsetting his wife and their friends. Though he apologized on a "Vanderpump Rules" After-Show (via Bravo), Katie clarified, "We go for the jugular a little bit. We just say outlandish, mean s*** that we don't mean. And we don't take it seriously. It's f***ed up."

Cheating allegations dogged Tom Schwartz

Though their relationship made for one of the longest-lasting commitments on a show where it seemed like their castmates hooked up and broke up every other week, Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz had their rocky moments, too. Throughout their relationship, the two repeatedly butted heads about various incidents where Tom may or may not have cheated on his wife. 

After rumors flew about a drunken make out in 2018, Schwartz admitted that he had been drunk enough that he wasn't sure whether he had cheated on his wife. "I don't even know how that happened and it's so regrettable, I'm so embarrassed ... especially for my age," Schwartz told Us Weekly. After the incident, though, Maloney insisted that she trusted her husband. "I generally think that if he did in fact make out with this person that he doesn't remember, that it was just simply because he was blackout drunk." 

Still, though, Maloney told Us Weekly that she did worry about her husband's inability to discuss serious issues together. "I get frustrated with Tom ... Oftentimes when there's serious issues or something that he ... confrontation that makes him feel uncomfortable, his go-to is just joke and laugh about it," she reflected.

They bought a house together

In early 2019, "Vanderpump Rules" stars Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix bought a $2 million home in the Valley Village neighborhood of Los Angeles (per RealityBlurb). It turned out, they wouldn't be lonely in the area for long: in quick succession, two more "VPR" couples took the same step. Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz bought a similar home with a slightly-less-hefty $1.9 million price tag (per RealityBlurb) that spring, and then Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright were soon to follow (via E!).

In a series of Instagram stories, Katie and Tom showed off their new abode by inviting some of their famous friends over to check it out. Former SURver Kristen Doute (who dropped a cool million on a house all on her own around the same time, per Bravo) told Katie (via Us Weekly), "I think this hallway is bigger than your old apartment!" A more official get together aired on the Season 8 premiere of "Vanderpump Rules," which saw Katie describing her view for the party as "Not a housewarming; it's a house-chilling." Both members of the couple agreed that the image they wanted their marital home to give off was "comfy chic," and when Schwartz gave a house tour to their co-stars, he made sure to point out what he called "a great pooping bathroom." As Lisa Vanderpump would say, Oh, Schwartzy.

They remarried

Even though Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney were married by Lisa Vanderpump back in 2016, a couple of years later they realized there was a problem: they never filed the legal paperwork. Lance Bass leaked the news, according to Us Weekly, a few weeks ahead of what wound up being a second wedding altogether — this time in Vegas. The wedding was Western-themed; Schwartzy dressed up in a fringed outfit and cowboy hat, according to photos from the event on Instagram. The happy couple also received a gigantic flower heart arrangement from their former officiant; the sash across the gift read, "Let's get it right this time!"

Katie was in good spirits about the situation, explaining in a behind-the-scenes Bravo video that she actually wanted to have a Vegas wedding as a kid. After her mother reminded her of her childhood wish, she recalled, "I was like, 'Oh my God!' Dreams don't always look the way they look." Lisa, too, found humor in everything that went down. "That was kitsch and it was funny. It was everything that a wedding kind of shouldn't be," she said.

Though Katie's commitment-averse husband wound up having to marry her twice, he told Bravo he would recommend other people avoid doing the same. "I like wearing the ring and I like saying 'wife,' but I don't think you need to bring the government into it," he joked. "I don't know. People should be very careful."

Tom's bestie came between them

There are lots of things that can cause arguments in a relationship, and Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz are no stranger to several of them. One major source of strife in their marriage: their "Vanderpump Rules" co-star and Tom's BFF Tom Sandoval. "VPR" fans know that "Schwartz & Sandy" have been inseparable best friends since before either one signed up to be on reality TV, and thanks to Lisa Vanderpump's idea to make both of them business partners in a restaurant bearing their names, Sandoval is inextricably a part of the Maloney-Schwartz family life.

However, Katie's not much of a fan; she expressed on Season 9 of the show that she wanted to be more involved in her husband's business, especially as he and Sandoval planned to open up a second location. Sandoval considers himself a big-picture guy, while Schwartz is happy to go along with whatever his friend wants; that partnership doesn't sit well with Katie, who expressed multiple times on the show that she wishes her man would stand up for himself more. According to Bravo, Katie was especially upset when Sandoval took credit for bringing money into their marriage. "Without Schwartz, there would be no Tom and Tom," she insisted. "You can't take credit when there's two people in a duo."

Addressing their frequent and intense quarreling on "Watch What Happens Live," Sandoval insisted, "We love each other, man!" Schwartz agreed, "It's love-hate. Mostly love... some hate."

They tried to have kids

When Katie Maloney dropped the news that she was purchasing a house with hubby Tom Schwartz on an episode of "Watch What Happens Live," she agreed with host Andy Cohen that the news was exciting. "I know; now we can have babies," she said. However, even though numerous "Vanderpump Rules" couples became parents over the COVID-19 pandemic — including Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark, Lala Kent and Randall Emmett, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright, and Scheana Shay and Brock Davies — no Maloney-Schwartz baby materialized.

Schwartz told People, "As far as the timeline, I'm still noncommittal, but I'm on the record — it's official, we do want to have kids, and I love kids." He added that Kent's daughter Ocean was cute, clarifying, "I don't have baby fever, but yeah, love some babies."

Their fertility journey was chronicled on Season 9 of "Vanderpump Rules," which revealed that they had been trying for a child but had not yet been able to conceive. In a memorable scene from the show, Schwartz went in for fertility testing, and part of the paperwork caused the couple to disclose that they chose to have an abortion early in their relationship. Agreeing with one another that it was absolutely the best decision and they likely would have broken up had they tried to become parents so early, Katie concluded (via E! News), "Everyone, every woman, every person should be able to decide what's best for them." 

They share two adorable pups

The early years of the COVID-19 pandemic were hard on everybody, and a lot of people turned to their pets for a source of comfort. That was true, too, for Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz, who have two dogs together named Butter and Gordo von Friedenheimer. Schwartz told Bravo that their pups were essential in getting them through, recalling, "They were our companions, you know, when things were at their worst. They were always there for us. They brought us a lot of joy this year."

Schwartz first brought Gordo home in 2014, surprising Katie. In a blog for Bravo, the commitment-phobic reality star wrote, "I joked about getting a dog to buy me time in regards to having kids/marriage but I was being facetious. I wanted to get a dog to surprise my girl and because we have a lot of love to give! I love dogs." However, when it came time to add Butter to the family, Schwartz admitted being hesitant in a video for Bravo. "I was a little standoffish at first, I didn't like the idea of having another puppy ... but now I've fallen head over heels for Butters too."

In the wake of their later split, Katie told the "Relationsh**" podcast that she and Tom would be sharing custody of Gordo and Butter.

They announced a divorce in 2022

Season 9 of "Vanderpump Rules" depicted a number of intense arguments between Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney, including numerous fights about Katie's potential involvement in Schwartz's new bar with Tom Sandoval. Not all of the fights were shown on camera; in a confessional, Katie spoke about being "really annoyed" by her husband staying over Sandoval's house late into the night. "So I jammed the door shut," she confessed. "When he came home, Tom busted down our door like the Kool-Aid Man." Fans online were concerned by the revelation; one Reddit post, for example, questioned why the show played off what seemed like a serious incident as "a cute funny story."

Sure enough, mere months after Season 9 finished airing, Katie and Schwartz shocked the Bravo universe by posting a divorce announcement to their respective Instagram pages. In her post, Katie wrote, "After twelve years on an adventure through life together Tom and I are ending our marriage." Schwartz, though, went into much more detail; in part, he wrote to his fans, "Well this sucks ... Katie & I are separating. I'm not quite ready to use the 'D' word yet bc it's too painful." Painful or not, Katie filed divorce papers several days after the announcement (via TMZ).

Though that seems pretty final to us, their TV boss Lisa Vanderpump told Us Weekly that she disagreed. "I don't think the fat lady has sung yet," she said.

They're trying to stay friends

News of Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz's impending divorce shook the Bravo universe; the couple had been one of the longest-running on the show, but it was not to last. Still, in their announcements of their split, both indicated that they didn't want people to feel torn between them. "As sad as I am, still happy to say there's zero anger or bitterness," Tom wrote on Instagram, while Katie's post read, "This ending is not met with resentment or animosity, no sides to choose ... we cherish our friendship." A source elaborated in an interview with People that the two had felt more like "roommates" for a while.

It seems that, so far, this approach is working out. The two posted a "cheers to friendship" on their Instagram stories (via RealityTitbit), and they traveled to Italy (via E! News) to support former co-star Stassi Schroeder at her wedding to Beau Clark. They even showed up to the Vegas opening of Lisa Vanderpump's newest restaurant, where Katie told Us Weekly, "Tom and I have been really supportive. It's been, you know, the best, healthiest, positive thing that I can ask for, honestly."

Schwartz's business partner and best friend Tom Sandoval, though, was shocked by the news. "It literally, like, b***h slapped me across the face. I had no idea," he said. "Like, totally knocked the cool out of my walk." Thoughts and prayers for Sandy at this difficult time.