The Shady Side Of Dean McDermott

Dean McDermott was married to Mary Jo Eustace when he first met Tori Spelling on the set of "Mind Over Murder" in 2005. In fact, the two had spent over a decade together, and shared a son named Jack, according to Us Weekly. This ultimately meant that he cheated on his wife in order to pursue a relationship with Spelling, which was just the very beginning of the many shady moments that would unfold over the course of their relationship.

Within a year of their first encounter, McDermott and Spelling wed in Fiji and quickly began expanding their family, reported the outlet. The couple had five children together, allowing the majority of their lives to be captured by cameras for their reality television show, "Tori and Dean: Inn Love," which was later renamed "Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood." The high-profile nature of their marriage meant that most of their personal issues were broadcast to all their fans, inclusive of some very sketchy moments displayed by McDermott.

McDermott's questionable behavior put a strain on his relationship with Spelling. "They both enjoy being a family and love their lives with their kids, but there is a great deal of tension between them which continues to make them drift further apart," sources said to People.

Dean McDermott bailed on adopting a child with his ex

Dean McDermott's relationship with Tori Spelling unfolded in a very public manner, as they allowed fans to peer inside their personal life while the cameras rolled. In spite of the very public lifestyle they shared, some aspects of McDermott's private life were tucked away and kept concealed. When McDermott left his wife and son in pursuit of a relationship with Spelling, very few people were aware that he had been in the middle of adopting a child with his first wife, Mary Jo Eustace — a process he would eventually completely abandon, according to the Daily Mail.

It has been revealed that after having their son Jack, Eustace suffered a series of miscarriages and failed fertility treatment procedures, according to court documents (via Radar). The couple decided to apply to adopt a child.

"On July 7, 2005, Lola Elizabeth McDermott was born," Eustace said. "This was an incredible experience. We received Lola when she was one hour old. Jack held her first," Eustace revealed in the court documents, according to Radar. However, after a three-week affair with Spelling, McDermott not only abandoned his wife and son, but he also rescinded his involvement from the adoption process. His ex-wife continued forward with the adoption, and is now the single parent of their son Jack and her adopted daughter, Lola.

He had issues with sex addiction and cheated on Tori Spelling

Some of the sketchiest moments captured between Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling involve McDermott's confessions about his struggles with sex addiction and infidelity. During Season 1 of the reality show "True Tori," Wolf (a family friend) asked McDermott why he cheated on Spelling. "'Cause I didn't think that I would get caught," he replied. McDermott also cited his alcohol and drug use as an excuse.

Fans looked on while Spelling processed the devastating news that McDermott had cheated on her with Emily Goodhand. The embattled couple's worst moments were captured on camera for the world to see. Season 1, Episode 5 of "True Tori" exposed a dramatic, emotional scene in which Spelling cried hysterically while she described the pain caused by McDermott's cheating. "There's no happy ending, I don't believe it anymore," Spelling said to him. She sobbed and spoke of the impact this would have on the four children they shared at that time. McDermott was remorseful. "I am so sorry, I am so sorry...I made a mistake, I f***ed up, I ruined everything," he said. However, he wasn't able to identify what Spelling needed him to do to patch up the pain he'd caused.

He struggled with drug and alcohol addiction

Addiction to drugs and alcohol plagued Dean McDermott's relationship with Tori Spelling. McDermott admitted to his substance abuse problem and was made aware of the impact his actions had on his family. He claimed his issues with drugs and alcohol were so extensive that they contributed to his poor decision-making.

During Season 1, Episode 3 of "True Tori," McDermott was discussing his infidelity with a friend and said, "I was drinking and using drugs, man. I was not dealing with... I have a brain that wants me dead, that's how the alcoholic mind works and thinks. I have a couple cocktails, do a couple lines, shut it down after 3 lines. 'Yeah, you can do that,'" McDermott said. Recognizing the consequences of his actions, he continued, "I need to change. I am on the verge of losing everything that means anything to me in this world."

In January 2014, McDermott checked himself into rehab and declared that he was experiencing "some health and personal issues," according to TMZ. "I am truly sorry for the mistakes I have made and for the pain I've caused my family," the actor said.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Dean McDermott didn't acknowledge his anniversary

Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling routinely invited fans into their home and personal life through their reality television show. They shared a slew of announcements and family updates with the world on this platform. They had also frequently used their social media outlets to update fans on other aspects of their lives (like the birthday of their pet pig). Shockingly, the couple didn't acknowledge one another on a very special day — their 15th wedding anniversary — in 2021. This sent a red flag to fans that their marriage was struggling significantly, Us Weekly noted.

McDermott and Spelling completely skipped over the occasion, failing to make mention of its significance by appearing together in public or writing about one another on social media the way they had done so many times before. As of this writing, onlookers would need to scroll all the way back to November 2020 for a sighting of McDermott on Spelling's Instagram. Even then, the family Christmas card shows the mom holding up a picture of McDermott, who was apparently filming in Canada when the holiday photo was taken. Oddly enough, McDermott included Tori Spelling in a carousel post (along with his daughters) for International Women's Day in 2022.

A bank sued Dean McDermott for failure to repay a loan

Dean McDermott's ongoing financial problems were dragged into the public sphere when it was revealed that he was falling behind on some important bills. When they fell upon troubled times, McDermott and Tori Spelling had taken out a sizable loan, but they didn't repay the money.

The couple borrowed $400,000 from City National Bank in 2012, but their lives had fallen off course to such a degree that they were unable to keep up with their financial obligation and couldn't maintain their minimum monthly payments. As time went on, McDermott continued falling behind, which resulted in litigation. In 2016, a lawsuit was filed against McDermott in an effort to recoup the funds on the loan he had taken four years prior. Per court documents obtained by Us Weekly, the couple left $188,000 unresolved (the amount for which City National Bank sued, including interest and late charges).

McDermott also had other issues with credit card repayment and overdue taxes, according to Page Six.

He vacationed with his family but failed to make alimony payments

Dean McDermott faced heavy scrutiny for living large with Tori Spelling and their shared children, while the first family he created waited in the shadows in anticipation of receiving their support payments. McDermott claimed he was unable to complete alimony payments due to his financial hardship, but according to his ex-wife, he seemed to be living a luxurious life with his other family.

While declaring that he was experiencing overwhelming financial difficulties, McDermott boasted the happiness in his life all over social media. Even with unpaid child support looming over him, he and Spelling embarked on an expensive family vacation to Punta Mita, Mexico's Four Seasons resort, and continued to live their lives in a very carefree manner, per Page Six

McDermott appeared to have access to money. However, he seemingly chose to spend the funds in different way, rather than applying them toward payments for his first child, Jack. He said that he had supported Jack; then he refuted his ex-wife's claims that Tori's mother, Candy Spelling, supported his lifestyle, telling the Daily Mail in 2017, "If that were the case, do you not think that I would have paid Mary Jo off a long time ago? Because I want nothing to do with the woman." McDermott also claimed that business deals and social media agreements funded his lavish travels.

He faced jail time for missed child support payments

Dean McDermott experienced a variety of financial challenges and hardships, and he did not complete child support and alimony payments. In March 2017, his ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, became frustrated by the lack of support and dragged McDermott to court as a last-ditch effort to collect the funds.

McDermott had reportedly racked up $100,000 dollars in back payments, according to the Daily Mail. McDermott told the court, "I've fallen on hard times," but Eustace pointed out that when McDermott claimed he was unable to support her and their son Jack, he was living in luxury. The court revealed that he was facing jail time for shirking his obligations. 

Realizing the severity of the situation, Eustace agreed to accept smaller monthly support payments in order to keep McDermott from serving time in jail, per Page Six. After being extended the kind gesture, McDermott failed to pay the agreed-upon fee of $1500 per month, so he returned to court and was facing time in jail once more. "My late alimony payments incur interest and I can't keep up with the interest. This number just keeps growing. Let me make this perfectly clear — up until the last eight months of alimony that I owe her, I never missed an alimony or child support payment," he told the Daily Mail in 2017.

Dean McDermott nearly got booked for receiving weed from Paris Hilton

Dean McDermott got a good scare when he was almost arrested in 2008, and the circumstances surrounding this fiasco were far from ordinary. On his "Daddy Issues" podcast with co-hosts Nicky Paris and Adam Hunter, McDermott revealed that he and Tori Spelling were vacationing in Las Vegas when they were informed that Paris Hilton had dropped off an envelope for them at their hotel's reception area. A staff member told him, "Mr. McDermott, we've located the package, and we strongly suggest that you don't take the package." Security guards surrounded the actor, and he was warned that he would be immediately arrested if he retrieved the item (via the Daily Mail).

He described being utterly confused about the situation, as he was completely unaware of what had been delivered for them. It turns out that Hilton had left a "gift" for McDermott and Spelling to enjoy that wasn't legal. She had packaged some weed for the couple, not realizing the trouble McDermott would have been in, had he not been cautioned to leave it alone. "You could see this envelope with this big huge bud in it. Like, the envelope flap wouldn't even close. Like, it gapped. And as soon as she brought it out around the corner, you could smell it," Dean said during his podcast (via the Daily Mail).

He didn't wear his wedding ring while still married

During his marriage to Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott was photographed without his wedding ring on, making fans wonder if that was a sign that their marital problems were irreconcilable. 

He was seen with a naked ring finger in July 2021, when he stopped to pump gas (via the Daily Mail). One ring-free sighting can easily be shrugged off, but when McDermott was spotted without his wedding band again in September and November, it became apparent that there was trouble in paradise and his marriage might be in turmoil. McDermott was once again missing the piece of jewelry in April 2022 before playing hockey in L.A., The Sun observed.

Interestingly, in 2014, just three months after discovering that McDermott had cheated on her, Spelling was spotted wearing her wedding ring during an outing in Sherman Oaks, California (via Us Weekly). In late 2019, the actor updated her left hand with a new custom wedding ring. "I'm so in love (and with you too [Dean McDermott])," she wrote on Instagram. Spelling added, "I chose emerald to represent May. My birthday, our wedding anniversary, and Mother's Day. May represents everything that is meaningful in my life." However, Spelling was seen pumping gas sans wedding ring in July 2021, just like McDermott. She also left the rock at home for her birthday bash in May 2022, per her Instagram Stories (via OK!). 

Dean McDermott threw shade at his sex life with Tori Spelling

Dean McDermott put his sketchy side on full display by throwing shade at his sex life with Tori Spelling. Fans got their first sneak peak of this conversation with a teaser video in advance of a "True Tori" airing. A distraught Spelling is seen saying, "I can never give him enough sex. He's never going to be happy with just me."

"We have four kids, so in the sex department, there were ebbs and flows," McDermott said in the Season 1 episode, before digging even deeper (via Us Weekly). "We would have sex once every two weeks, it wasn't fantastic," he claimed. McDermott also admitted, "I'm insatiable. Sex was an escape, just like drugs and alcohol." 

This deeply affected Tori, who spoke out during her therapy session on the eighth episode of "True Tori" to say, "He was wanting more sex from me, he wanted more adventurous stuff; I was doing everything he wanted. That's why when this happened, it was such a slap in my face," she said, referencing McDermott's affair. Exasperated, Tori went on to reveal, "I was doing things I'm pretty sure no married couple of seven years with four tiny kids are doing at home."

He didn't share a bed with his wife

One of the most eye-opening moments in Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's marriage was the revelation that Dean had stopped sharing a bed with his wife. After a series of ups and downs in their relationship, Spelling appeared on SiriusXM's "Jeff Lewis Live" in June 2021, and was prompted to discuss the status of her marriage to McDermott. When asked if they were sleeping in the same bed, she responded by saying, "Right now, my kids and dog sleep in my bed."

It was implied that McDermott was staying in the guest room, but Spelling corrected the error by saying, "He's in a room." Spelling went on to describe her sleeping situation in detail. "Since he left — this is not good, you guys — but since he left, he was gone for six months filming in another country, they all stayed with me, so I currently still have four in the bedroom with me who have yet to go back to their rooms," Spelling said. She said those children were 4, 8, 9, and 13 years old, and indicated that some had their own beds within her room.

In November 2021, a source heralded the end of the couple's marriage, telling E! News, "It's for the best and has been a long time coming. They have been trying to work it out for years for the sake of the kids but they truly do not get along. They have been sleeping in different rooms for months and haven't considered themselves to be 'married' for a while now."

Dean McDermott was accused of shading his son

Dean McDermott's relationship with his son Jack has been under scrutiny by fans since it was revealed that he had fallen behind on child support payments, but in 2018, McDermott gave fans yet another reason to look more closely at his relationship with Jack.

The overwhelming majority of McDermott's family photos reflect the children he shares with Spelling, and not the son he fathered with Mary Jo Eustace. He drew a bit of criticism when he posted an image to his Instagram account and wrote, "Had a great Saturday family date night with the entire family... Loving hard on my kiddos and my beautiful wife @torispelling I'm a lucky man!" One person felt that in mentioning "the entire family," he had overlooked the absence of his first child, Jack. The curious commenter asked, "Where's Jack?" McDermott himself answered, "[He] lives in San Francisco." Other followers came to his defense.

In 2019, the dad spoke about his son on his podcast: "My son Jack is gay...he's this beautiful, 6-foot-4, beautiful Adonis," the actor said, adding, "He's just a gorgeous kid" (via People). Dean McDermott smiled with his son and his ex-wife for Jack's college graduation in 2022, expressing his pride on Instagram.