Things about Justin and Hailey's 2nd wedding that make no sense

The year 2019 wasn't easy for Justin Bieber, who has been open about his struggles with substance abuse and mental health. At one point, Seventeen even outlined a comprehensive list — for which they should probably be a little ashamed, to be honest — of all the times he was spotted crying in public since shacking up with Hailey Bieber (née Baldwin). And, really, If you haven't cried in public — or at least on public transportation — are you even a functioning adult?

Regardless, it looks like those trying times are behind him. The Canadian singer finally — finally — had a star-studded second wedding with Hailey that was absolutely brimming with national pride for things like Ryan Gosling and Daniel Caesar (and sadly not Tim Hortons). Like you'd expect from a guy who once owned a pet monkey and had a penchant for drag racing his Lamborghini, there were a whole lot of things about his nuptials that just didn't make any sense. These A-listers march to the beat of their own 808, but it still looked like a ton of fun. We're letting it slide that the pair must've forgotten to send us a save the date.

The Biebers are already married

The news of a luxe wedding for Justin and Hailey Bieber might be a little perplexing to some — at least if you're the kind of person still caught up in Jalena's brief reunion, but the "Sorry" singer has since moved on, permanently. After a failed attempt at a tattoo cover up (sorry, Selena) and a whirlwind engagement, the pair tied the knot in a September 2018 courthouse ceremony in New York City, according to People. In other words, the Biebers are already married, but they've got a pretty good reason to throw a second, star-studded wedding (beyond the fact that fans want to see a Bieber blowout).

According to Justin's father-in-law Stephen Baldwin, who spoke to TMZ, the pair wanted to throw a second wedding because they wanted to tie the knot in the eyes of God. "As Christians and as believers, they understand that if you don't have ... God's spirit working in your marriage, it just makes it more and more difficult to make it work and have peace and find happiness," he said.

Anyone who's read the pair's Vogue profile will know that Justin and Hailey reconnected at a religious conference in Miami. Hailey even admitted the "common denominator" between them "is always church." That courthouse stuff was never going to be enough for a couple that devout.

Justin and Hailey Bieber's engagement spot was leveled by a hurricane

Justin Bieber initially popped the question to Hailey in July 2018. According to TMZ, the singer made his move at a Bahamas resort. Going into their second round of nuptials, the pair's beloved engagement spot had been absolutely leveled by a hurricane. Is it a bad omen? Is it a signal for a fresh start? Is it climate change? It could be a mix of all of the above. 

As previously reported by TMZ, the pair's engagement spot — Nipper's Beach Bar & Grill, a celeb hotspot that's open "from dusk to dawn" year round — was absolutely "wiped out by Hurricane Dorian." According to TIME, the Category 5 storm, which hit the same month as Biebers' nuptials, was one of the worst natural disasters to ever come through the Bahamas. As for Nipper's, the storm ripped up the restaurant's roofs, some of the structures were shredded, a bunch of trees fell, and the "fencing is mangled." Hopefully, this isn't the universe's way of predicting anything about the couple's vows.

Third save the date's a charm?

For a time, it looked like Hailey and Justin Bieber were never going to follow through with their second wedding, but true Bielebers donned their Urban Outfitters Purpose Tour merch and embarked on the sacred ritual of deep diving into the couple's Instagram pages, repeatedly blasting "Despacito," and praying to the patron saint of the Daily Mail. The mystical ceremony must've worked because the Biebers actually showed up to their rehearsal dinner, and it looks like things went off without a hitch. This is a welcome relief considering the model and singer postponed their second wedding three times since tying the knot in an NYC courthouse.

According to TMZ, the couple rescheduled the wedding for a third time in January 2019 after already sending out save the dates, but there's no relationship drama here. Realizing some important guests couldn't make it, they decided to postpone.

As hectic as scheduling sounds, Biebs reportedly felt "relaxed" during his long wedding weekend. According to an alleged insider who spoke to People, "He's all smiles, really upbeat and happy. Doesn't seem nervous at all." Of course, there's no real reason to be stressed since he's probably already had enough time to freak out about tying the knot without a prenup (or so says Us Weekly).

Kendall Jenner was Hailey Bieber's bachelorette party MVP

Kendall Jenner is arguably one of the most reserved Kardashian sisters. After all, she's not the one who broke the Internet with her butt, nor is she one of the two embroiled in a cheating scandal so insane it seems made for TV. All she's ever really done is accidentally align herself with Fyre Festival and cure racism in an ill-advised Pepsi ad. Despite this, Jenner was reportedly the reigning MVP of Hailey's bridal festivities, and she really let loose during the bachelorette party.

Even though her bestie is already married, Jenner did her best to deliver the most traditional bachelorette party imaginable. According to Page Six, Hailey even wore a $56 white dress from a fast fashion brand (just like us girls who aren't rolling around Justin's $285 million estimated net worth). 

According to People, Jenner delivered all the standard bachelorette goodies. She was reportedly spotted at the Hustler Hollywood store, "laughing as she picked up classic bachelorette suppliers [sic], including phallic-shaped straws and sex toys." TMZ later caught her drinking from a sippy cup shaped like male genitalia while Hailey chuckled in the backseat, veil and all. The party must've been pretty good, because Hailey was spotted looking pretty exhausted the following day (we've been there!). If we ever find someone worthy of putting a ring on it, Kendall, you're so invited.

For some reason, Hailey and Justin Bieber married in South Carolina

Justin and Hailey Bieber didn't tie the knot in their current home state of California. Nor did the pair jetset to Hailey's childhood home in New York or Justin's native Canada (though they did import their wedding singer, Daniel Caesar, eh). Instead, the couple headed to the Palmetto state, to which they have no discernible connection. You can't deny the southern charm, though.

According to TMZ, the Biebers took a trip to South Carolina in August 2019, where they presumably did some wedding planning. They ultimately decided to have their ceremony at the Montage Palmetto Bluff, a "private 20,000 acre estate" off the bank of the May River. The largest chapel on the premises seats up to 185 guests. Most likely, this is where Hailey walked down the aisle, since the couple reportedly sent out around 300 save the dates before they rescheduled. The Biebers allegedly rented out most of the Montage for their wedding. 

TMZ also reports that the wedding was being planned by Mindy Weiss, who's done events for mega-stars like Diana Ross, Katy Perry, Ellen DeGeneres, and the Kardashians. Perhaps Kendall gave her a referral.

Guests arrived to Justin and Hailey Bieber's rehearsal dinner by speedboat

Hailey and Justin Bieber went far and above hailing an Uber or two for their rehearsal dinner guests. According to TMZ, the guests — which included Justin and Hailey's family, Kendall Jenner, Justine Skye, and Fai Khadra — arrived at the dinner by speedboat. They even got to enjoy some cocktails at sea (or at river, considering the venue was right off the May River). 

The couple seemed to be in a chipper mood prior to the rehearsal — perhaps a bit too chipper? The pair was spotted by a random bystander, who so bravely captured Bieber zipping by on a boat and thrusting his majestic hips towards his wife, who seemed unwittingly tolerant. As the bystander so graciously narrated, "He's humpin' her! He's humpin' her!"

The whole affair ended with Jenner, the veritable wedding MVP, showing off her bowling skills. In an Instagram story (captured by Elle editor Alyssa Bailey), the model was seen throwing a total strike in a dress — emphasis on "in a dress." Girl knows how to rock a wedding weekend.

Did Hailey and Justin Bieber force their loved ones to watch The Notebook?

After Justin and Hailey Bieber arrived in South Carolina on their private jet (which for some inexplicable reason had a welcome mat branded with Justin's clothing line), the pair celebrated their pre-wedding night with a good old-fashioned sleepover, just like Hailey probably had with her gal pals as a teenager back when the couple first met. 

If things couldn't get any sappier between the Biebers, who have been routinely criticized by online trolls for being absurdly lovey dovey, the pair forced their sleepover guests to watch the entirety of The Notebook. This might seem like cruel and unusual punishment for those of us not enamored with Justin's fellow Canadian export, Ryan Gosling, but according to TMZ, it's Hailey and Justin's favorite movie — out of every other movie that exists, including classics like The Breakfast Club, Titanic, that fish sex movie that won an Oscar, or even the Saw franchise. At the time of this writing, it's already much too late for Justin to say sorry for subjecting his guests to a Nicholas Sparks film.

Though The Notebook might be a mood-killer, TMZ reports the pair managed to liven things up with "a carnival theme," including "a huge spread of ice cream and candy, a giant dance party, bowling and a big game of capture the flag." They even reportedly started a water gun fight at 1 AM. It was basically like the teenage sleepover of our dreams.

Blame it on the juice

In the words of Lizzo, blame it on [their] juice. The best weddings have an open bar, but Hailey and Justin Bieber managed to give wedding hydration (or lack of) a brand new twist. Instead of the standard soda pop served at most civilian weddings, the A-listers allegedly shelled out for 20 gallons of organic juice. Either they're anticipating a whole lot of hangovers or the Biebs has taken his healthy lifestyle to a new level.

According to TMZ, the couple's "people" hit up The Juice Hive in Bluffton, South Carolina before their Monday nuptials to order $1,200 of organic juice for their 154 guests. They picked up the three flavors: Orange Bee, a carrot-apple juice; Red Bee, which includes beets; and Green Bee, which has spinach, kale, cucumber, and celery. The Juice Hive reportedly also made a special gallon for the pair that was "a mix of celery, watermelon, lime, mint and cucumber" dubbed the Bieber Bee. Of course, the company plans to add it to future menus, because why not capitalize off young celebrity love?

If Justin's mobile IV drip didn't tip us off, the dude loves vitamins and hydration. Though juice is a bizarre move, it does make sense for the "Sorry" singer. Hopefully, Kendall Jenner won't have the same poor reaction that she had to the IV, and can drink her Bieber Bee in peace — or share it with a police officer.

Justin and Hailey Bieber apparently annoyed the hotel's non-famous guests

Put down your My World 2.0 CD, and stop crying to "That Should Be Me." Die-hard Beliebers who were hoping for their chance with the superstar aren't the only ones peeved at Justin's second round of "I Dos." Apparently, hotel guests weren't too stoked either. Thankfully, this time around, Biebs wasn't annoying his neighbors by allegedly "hotboxing" the hallways and vandalizing their homes with eggs like it's Mischief Night. 

According to TMZ, the biggest ticket areas at the Montage Palmetto Bluff were closed off from regular hotel guests to allow the Biebers' star-studded wedding party to navigate the hotel in peace. This apparently annoyed some guests because the spa, the pool, and a fancy restaurant on the premises were all reportedly blocked off from Sunday until noon on Tuesday, but the hotel offered refunds, alternate bookings, and upgrades in exchange for the inconvenience. 

Apparently, most of the guests took the Montage up on this offer because TMZ later reported that the Biebers only left about three rooms available to the general public, and those guests were happy. Who wouldn't be, standing in the presence of Travis Scott, Ed Sheeran, Jaden Smith, and Usher? That's some wedding to crash.

Gigi and Bella Hadid skipped Hailey and Justin Bieber's wedding

Hailey Bieber is a model, so she definitely counts fellow A-list models as some of her closest friends. Among this crew are Gigi and Bella Hadid, who were mysteriously missing from the star's Monday nuptials. So, what's the deal?

According to Harper's Bazaar, the Hadid sisters skipped out on their pal's wedding because they were busy working at Paris Fashion Week, where they've made appearances on runways for Isabel Marant, Lanvin, and Balenciaga. France is about an 11 hour flight from South Carolina, so that'd be undoubtedly exhausting for the sisters, but it should be noted that Kendall Jenner, wedding MVP, walked in Milan Fashion Week, and still managed to show up to the bachelorette party that same week. Kylie Jenner, who Page Six claims was hospitalized and deemed too ill to travel to Paris, also reportedly made it to the wedding just five days after announcing that she was too sick to travel. 

To make matters even more heartbreaking, Hailey once told Vogue Australia that she felt "inferior" to Bella, Gigi, and Kendall. Having her pals skip her wedding for Fashion Week probably doesn't help those insecurities. Gigi, your trendy Yankees hat means nothing if you don't hold an allegiance to your friends from New York. You only get married once — or in Hailey's case, twice.

Justin Bieber invited his ex to his wedding

Hailey and Justin Bieber's guest list was ultra impressive, drawing the likes of the richest Kardashian, Jaden Smith, Scooter Braun, and Corey Gamble. Among this star-studded list was one not-so-famous past love. That's right: JB committed the major wedding faux pas of inviting his ex girlfriend. Never say never!

According to People, Justin's first love Caitlin Beadles, who founded Vine of Bravery Dog Rescue, not only attended the wedding, but had a blast. From her Instagram stories, it looked like she was even at the rehearsal dinner "raving over" the gluten free cornbread. She attended the wedding with her brother, Christian Beadles.

Justin's relationship with Caitlin wasn't anywhere near as tumultuous as his on-and-off relationship with Selena Gomez. According to E! News, the pair met in 2008 and dated for about a year. She reportedly ended things as he started to get famous, but they managed to remain friends. Bieber even spent Thanksgiving with the Beadles in 2017. Rumor has it, Biebs wrote his track "Never Let You Go" about his first love — and apparently he meant it. Why else would Caitlin be at his side as he gets married to another woman?

Selena Gomez is feeling 'better off' without Justin Bieber

Jalena fans are having it rough at the moment, and JB probably shouldn't have posted a throwback Instagram of him and Hailey as teens ahead of the wedding if he didn't want some backlash. What particularly angered fans was his caption, "My wife and I :) where it all began." As Cosmopolitan pointed out, Jalena shippers fired back with comments like "Where it all began? But wasn't you with [Selena Gomez] at the time?" and "You took one pick and ignored her for years. Who you gonna fool?"

Die-hard Jalena shippers should know the heart wants what it wants, but Selena apparently knows she's better off without her ex. According to an alleged insider who spoke to Us Weekly, the "Wolves" singer is "in a good place" and "has been hanging out with old friends and family and keeping herself out of the limelight." She's been exceedingly open about her struggles with stress and anxiety and has reportedly been working on "getting back to being the Selena that she and all of her close ones knew prior to dating Justin." She also appeared to avoid social media on his wedding day, which was probably a good call. It's never a good feeling when your ex gets married before you do — twice – but hey, Justin's stuck with a tattoo of Selena for life.