Things About Justin And Hailey's 2nd Wedding That Make No Sense

The year 2019 wasn't easy for Justin Bieber, who has been open about his struggles with substance abuse and mental health. At one point, Seventeen even outlined a comprehensive list — for which they should probably be a little ashamed, to be honest — of all the times he was spotted crying in public since shacking up with Hailey Bieber (née Baldwin). And, really, If you haven't cried in public — or at least on public transportation — are you even a functioning adult?

Regardless, it looks like those trying times are behind him. The Canadian singer finally — finally — had a star-studded second wedding with Hailey that was absolutely brimming with national pride for things like Ryan Gosling and Daniel Caesar (and sadly not Tim Hortons). Like you'd expect from a guy who once owned a pet monkey and had a penchant for drag racing his Lamborghini, there were a whole lot of things about his nuptials that just didn't make any sense. These A-listers march to the beat of their own 808, but it still looked like a ton of fun. We're letting it slide that the pair must've forgotten to send us a save the date.

Justin Bieber initially popped the question to Hailey in July 2018. According to TMZ, the singer made his move at a Bahamas resort. Going into their second round of nuptials, the pair's beloved engagement spot had been absolutely leveled by a hurricane. Is it a bad omen? Is it a signal for a fresh start? Is it climate change? It could be a mix of all of the above. 

As previously reported by TMZ, the pair's engagement spot — Nipper's Beach Bar & Grill, a celeb hotspot that's open "from dusk to dawn" year round — was absolutely "wiped out by Hurricane Dorian." According to TIME, the Category 5 storm, which hit the same month as Biebers' nuptials, was one of the worst natural disasters to ever come through the Bahamas. As for Nipper's, the storm ripped up the restaurant's roofs, some of the structures were shredded, a bunch of trees fell, and the "fencing is mangled." Hopefully, this isn't the universe's way of predicting anything about the couple's vows.

Kendall Jenner is arguably one of the most reserved Kardashian sisters. After all, she's not the one who broke the Internet with her butt, nor is she one of the two embroiled in a cheating scandal so insane it seems made for TV. All she's ever really done is accidentally align herself with Fyre Festival and cure racism in an ill-advised Pepsi ad. Despite this, Jenner was reportedly the reigning MVP of Hailey's bridal festivities, and she really let loose during the bachelorette party.

Even though her bestie is already married, Jenner did her best to deliver the most traditional bachelorette party imaginable. According to Page Six, Hailey even wore a $56 white dress from a fast fashion brand (just like us girls who aren't rolling around Justin's $285 million estimated net worth). 

According to People, Jenner delivered all the standard bachelorette goodies. She was reportedly spotted at the Hustler Hollywood store, "laughing as she picked up classic bachelorette suppliers [sic], including phallic-shaped straws and sex toys." TMZ later caught her drinking from a sippy cup shaped like male genitalia while Hailey chuckled in the backseat, veil and all. The party must've been pretty good, because Hailey was spotted looking pretty exhausted the following day (we've been there!). If we ever find someone worthy of putting a ring on it, Kendall, you're so invited.

Hailey and Justin Bieber went far and above hailing an Uber or two for their rehearsal dinner guests. According to TMZ, the guests — which included Justin and Hailey's family, Kendall Jenner, Justine Skye, and Fai Khadra — arrived at the dinner by speedboat. They even got to enjoy some cocktails at sea (or at river, considering the venue was right off the May River). 

The couple seemed to be in a chipper mood prior to the rehearsal — perhaps a bit too chipper? The pair was spotted by a random bystander, who so bravely captured Bieber zipping by on a boat and thrusting his majestic hips towards his wife, who seemed unwittingly tolerant. As the bystander so graciously narrated, "He's humpin' her! He's humpin' her!"

The whole affair ended with Jenner, the veritable wedding MVP, showing off her bowling skills. In an Instagram story (captured by Elle editor Alyssa Bailey), the model was seen throwing a total strike in a dress — emphasis on "in a dress." Girl knows how to rock a wedding weekend.

In the words of Lizzo, blame it on [their] juice. The best weddings have an open bar, but Hailey and Justin Bieber managed to give wedding hydration (or lack of) a brand new twist. Instead of the standard soda pop served at most civilian weddings, the A-listers allegedly shelled out for 20 gallons of organic juice. Either they're anticipating a whole lot of hangovers or the Biebs has taken his healthy lifestyle to a new level.

According to TMZ, the couple's "people" hit up The Juice Hive in Bluffton, South Carolina before their Monday nuptials to order $1,200 of organic juice for their 154 guests. They picked up the three flavors: Orange Bee, a carrot-apple juice; Red Bee, which includes beets; and Green Bee, which has spinach, kale, cucumber, and celery. The Juice Hive reportedly also made a special gallon for the pair that was "a mix of celery, watermelon, lime, mint and cucumber" dubbed the Bieber Bee. Of course, the company plans to add it to future menus, because why not capitalize off young celebrity love?

If Justin's mobile IV drip didn't tip us off, the dude loves vitamins and hydration. Though juice is a bizarre move, it does make sense for the "Sorry" singer. Hopefully, Kendall Jenner won't have the same poor reaction that she had to the IV, and can drink her Bieber Bee in peace — or share it with a police officer.

Hailey Bieber is a model, so she definitely counts fellow A-list models as some of her closest friends. Among this crew are Gigi and Bella Hadid, who were mysteriously missing from the star's Monday nuptials. So, what's the deal?

According to Harper's Bazaar, the Hadid sisters skipped out on their pal's wedding because they were busy working at Paris Fashion Week, where they've made appearances on runways for Isabel Marant, Lanvin, and Balenciaga. France is about an 11 hour flight from South Carolina, so that'd be undoubtedly exhausting for the sisters, but it should be noted that Kendall Jenner, wedding MVP, walked in Milan Fashion Week, and still managed to show up to the bachelorette party that same week. Kylie Jenner, who Page Six claims was hospitalized and deemed too ill to travel to Paris, also reportedly made it to the wedding just five days after announcing that she was too sick to travel. 

To make matters even more heartbreaking, Hailey once told Vogue Australia that she felt "inferior" to Bella, Gigi, and Kendall. Having her pals skip her wedding for Fashion Week probably doesn't help those insecurities. Gigi, your trendy Yankees hat means nothing if you don't hold an allegiance to your friends from New York. You only get married once — or in Hailey's case, twice.

Jalena fans are having it rough at the moment, and JB probably shouldn't have posted a throwback Instagram of him and Hailey as teens ahead of the wedding if he didn't want some backlash. What particularly angered fans was his caption, "My wife and I :) where it all began." As Cosmopolitan pointed out, Jalena shippers fired back with comments like "Where it all began? But wasn't you with [Selena Gomez] at the time?" and "You took one pick and ignored her for years. Who you gonna fool?"

Die-hard Jalena shippers should know the heart wants what it wants, but Selena apparently knows she's better off without her ex. According to an alleged insider who spoke to Us Weekly, the "Wolves" singer is "in a good place" and "has been hanging out with old friends and family and keeping herself out of the limelight." She's been exceedingly open about her struggles with stress and anxiety and has reportedly been working on "getting back to being the Selena that she and all of her close ones knew prior to dating Justin." She also appeared to avoid social media on his wedding day, which was probably a good call. It's never a good feeling when your ex gets married before you do — twice – but hey, Justin's stuck with a tattoo of Selena for life.