The shady side of Scott Disick

The so-called "Kardashian Curse" is the idea that any man who becomes romantically involved with a member of reality TV's most enduring fame-seekers will eventually have his life ruined, or at least derailed in a significant way. But in the case of Scott Disick, he's proven that on a long enough timeline, he was going to achieve self-destruction whether he'd ever met on-again-off-again girlfriend Kourtney Kardashian or not. From his questionable treatment of the mother of his three children, to his wildly unfounded vanity, to his pathetic attempts at appearing like some sort of uber-Playboy, there are not a lot of redeemable qualities about this man. And yet, he remains famous, forever lurking in the shadow of the Kardashians. Let's shine a light on the shady side of Disick.

He body-shamed Kourtney

Disick has a huge preoccupation with Kourtney's weight. Using little jokes and snipes—despite the fact that tip No. 4 of his "Six Tips to Living Like a Lord" is "Be Direct"—he constantly mentions her weight, especially when she is pregnant or has recently birthed one of his babies.

One of his worst weight gain-related remarks, of the many, many to choose from: "If I would have fallen in love with you a couple pounds overweight, this would be my ideal weight. But I fell in love with you when you were super skinny, so…"

That right there seems like enough justification to kick him to the curb, even without considering the additional avalanche of shade that is his life. What exactly does that entail? We're glad you asked.

He refuses to stay in rehab

Having a drinking problem is no joke, and being an alcoholic certainly doesn't make you shady. However, if you repeatedly fall off the wagon while promising your long-term girlfriend and mother of your three children that you're getting your act together, only to never really try to commit to it, then guess what? Welcome to Shadesville—Population: You.

In July 2015, Disick reportedly bailed on a third rehab attempt after spending just hours at the facility, according to Us Weekly. That wasn't the first time Disick used rehab like a revolving door. According to E! News, he cut his previous two stints short as well, both of which came after long party binges and outrageous behavior.

In January 2016, Disick entered yet another rehab facility, but less than six months later, he was reportedly out of control again. Sources told TMZ that Disick's house at the time was "a non-stop, alcohol-fueled party for weeks." At this point, if Disick heads back to detox for the fifth, sixth, or even seventh time, is it realistic to hope that he'll be able to stay clean?

His career is super shady

In a 2013 Haute Living interview, Disick described his typical day. He generally wakes at 10 a.m., then takes three hours to shower and select his clothes, shoes, wristwatch, and car for the day. Once properly accessorized, he spends a grueling five hours telecommuting for his "job," which he describes as: "The truth is I work in various industries. I have done a lot of private label manufacturing in the nutrition biz and have raised money for startup companies. I tend to invest money into nightlife businesses the friends of mine that are involved in nightclubs and what not."

In reality, the Disick family fortune was made by Scott's grandfather, David M. Disick, an attorney turned real estate developer who pioneered the development of luxury ski resort communities, according to Wet Paint. So try to guess where Scott's "private label manufacturing" and nightclub investment capital likely came from.

Of course, Disick now makes serious money from KUWTK and its various spin-offs—a reported $4 million per year, according to TMZ, not to mention up to $100,000 a pop for those infamous club appearances. All of this is to say that his entire livelihood depends on keeping his arguably toxic relationship with Kourtney on the air, as well as partying nightly in Vegas clubs, which is not exactly ideal for someone who struggles with substance abuse.

He tried to get $500,000 to be on Dancing With the Stars

This is far from the shadiest thing Scott Disick has ever done, but it's worth mentioning because it speaks to what an inflated sense of self-worth this guy truly has. According to TMZ, Disick demanded a $500,000 fee to appear on Season 22 of Dancing With the Stars. That's far more than what the show was reportedly offering, which was a "$125k guarantee and if he made it to the finals he'd get $345k."

Sure, he could have easily made that money getting hammered in a Las Vegas nightclub over a long weekend, but still, who does this guy think he is? After all, if Billy Dee Williams did a Star Wars themed cha-cha for way under half a mil, there's nothing Disick was going to bring to the table that would even come close to being worth that kind of cheddar.

He refers to himself as Lord Disick

He wears velvet slippers emblazoned with the moniker. His Instagram handle is @letthelordbewithyou. He even had a now-defunct web series called Lifestyles of a Lord, a send-up of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, only instead of profiling many wealthy people, the show was entirely about him. After purchasing a fake title online, he staged a knighting ceremony for himself in London, complete with a roundtable and a little person dressed as a jester. Disick is vainglorious. He's the grossest kind of rich person there is, which would normally be an insult, but that actually seems to be a characterization upon which Disick prides himself, considering his main hobby seems to be reminding everyone how much money he has.

He flaunts his wealth in the grossest possible ways

Disick told Haute Living that "the biggest choice of the day is the wristwatch." He wears lavish fur coats, despite not actually being Cruella De Vil or Conor McGregor. His everyday runaround car is his Bentley Mulsanne, for when he just doesn't feel like getting out the Rolls. His Instagrams are nothing but private jets, luxury cars, and designer clothes. Oh yeah, his kids occasionally make an appearance, too— if they can squeeze into the shot with the Lambo. We get it, Lord, you're doing quite well.

On top of all of that, Disick once flaunted his wealth in the most objectively awful way—by being horrendously rude to a waiter. After getting belligerently drunk, Disick got cut off by a waiter—at Kris Jenner's request, according to People—at which point he became enraged and "attempted to shove a $100 bill in the waiter's mouth." And did Lord Disick feel remorse for his King Joffrey-esque behavior?

Hardly. "Kourtney knew exactly who she was with when she met me," Disick reportedly told Kim Kardashian. "And I will never take back the things that I do, or why I do them. The guy disrespected me."

You know that rule about how you can tell a person's true nature by the way they treat service professionals? Yeah…

He's been accused of cheating on Kourtney

After that arduous, hours-long rehab stint in July 2015, Disick reportedly ran straight into the arms of an ex-girlfriend and chose to party in Monte Carlo instead of spending the Fourth of July with his family, according to TMZ. Though this was the first time real photo evidence of a blatant PDA was available, it was apparently the last straw for Kourtney, who at the time of this writing, has not taken him back.

Prior to getting caught red-handed, reports that Disick cheats have been frequent. Almost every time he goes out of town for a public appearance, sources later claim Disick acted on his wandering eye. Granted, it's not unusual for tabloids to make this kind of thing up, but historically speaking, men who consider themselves "Lords" don't necessarily consider monogamy a virtue.

He allegedly ditches his kids for long stretches of time

Disick has three kids with Kourtney: Mason, Penelope, and Reign. After allegedly ditching them all sometime in late-June 2015 to party in Europe, Disick supposedly still chose to stay away when he returned to the States and instead called for periodic updates. He even missed Penelope's birthday, but no biggie, because he fired off this since-deleted message to her on Instagram: "1 of the only things I'm proud off about myself. Happybdayp"

Three-year-olds are on Instagram and have the mental capacity to read, right? Eh, whatever. And then there's this tidbit: one of the only things he's proud of? He has two other children. Not that he's made a colossal effort to see them, either. According to People, Disick duplicated his 2015 disappearing act again in the summer of 2017 with sources telling the magazine, "The kids hadn't seen him for weeks and really missed him."

Supposedly, Disick is now keeping a low profile and "spends his nights at home," but even Kourtney is dubious of the supposedly turned-over leaf. "Kourtney is still not happy with Scott, but that's not the focus for her," a source told People, adding, "She wants the kids to have the best relationship with their dad so that's her focus."

Good luck with that.

He had an unwelcome guest in his hotel room during Kim's Dubai trip

What's the worst possible way to get back into the good graces of your estranged ex-girlfriend? If you guessed "by going on vacation with her sister then inviting some random girl back to your hotel room," you win! That's exactly what Disick did during Kim's Dubai trip (which he tagged along on for some strange reason.)

According to E! News, Kim acted in surrogate outrage for her sister when she confronted Disick's mystery lady, who had locked herself in the bathroom. "What the f**k are you doing here?" Kim reportedly said, before politely suggesting the young lady exit the premises. "Seriously? You're just like a f**king whore. Such a tramp. Get your s**t and get the f**k out of here. F**king groupie. Get your s**t and security will escort you the f**k out of here!"

Kourtney responded by allegedly disinviting then reinviting Disick to the family's upcoming Costa Rica trip, and you'll never guess what happened next…

He repeated his antics during the family's Costa Rica trip

Yes, that's right, Disick apparently doubled-down when he showed up for the Kardashian family's January 2017 Costa Rica trip with an uninvited plus one. The needle on the shade-o-meter started moving when Disick chose to stay at a different hotel than the rest of the Kardashian crew because he couldn't "handle staying under the same roof as the love of his life when he can't sleep with her," according to The Cut. The shade darkened after Kim's assistant reported that a woman named "Chelsea" was staying at Disick's place, which the sisters dealt with by throwing water in his face, then continuing to hang out with him the entire trip.

In fairness, a later scene portrayed Kourtney coolly informing Disick that she'd reached her limit with his shenanigans and there would be no reconciliation. Disick, who had previously and repeatedly professed that Kourtney was still the love of his life, reacted accordingly, which is to say he acted like he was perfectly fine with it. His actions a few months after the Costa Rica trip, however, spoke much louder than words.

His awkward Cannes model-a-day display

After several months of understandable estrangement following the Costa Rica trip, Disick jetted off to the Cannes Film Festival with then-19-year-old former Disney starlet Bella Thorne on his arm. After a few days, she reportedly got burned out on his hardcore partying and split, at which point Disick paraded a steady string of blogger/model/social media stars in front of the paparazzi. According to E! News, this list included Chloe Bartoli, thes ex from his 2015 European romp that effectively ended his relationship with Kourtney for good. Nope, this doesn't sound like petty revenge at all.

Keep in mind this isn't the first time Disick's done the model shuffle for the paps. Back in February 2017, hot off the heels of his Costa Rica performance, Disick was spotted in Miami partying with multiple young "mystery ladies," according to E! News.

But back to Cannes, where Disick's string of day dates ended with 18-year-old Sofia Richie, who partied with him on a yacht but denied any romance by tweeting: "Just so everyone can get their panties out of their a**es, Scott and I are just homies #relax." But it would seem the lady has protested too much, because…

He's now dating Sofia Richie

As of this writing, Scott Disick and Sofia Richie are officially a couple in spite of their 15-year age difference and the fact that he can't seem to walk outside without tripping over several random women in bikinis who are dying to "party" with him. But we're not here to judge.

It wouldn't necessarily be all that shady for Disick to be hooking up with Richie if it wasn't for the fact that she dated Justin Bieber, who's been previously linked to Kourtney, making this whole thing once again seem like a revenge-fueled plot by the Lord of the Shade.

Of course, that's all pure speculation. We hope, for Richie's sake, that Disick has finally gotten his act together and will do right by her. However, we have to say that we share the sentiment held by her famous dad, Lionel Richie, who told Us Weekly of his daughter's new beau: "I'm scared to death, are you kidding me?"