Princess Diana's Outspoken Mother Faced A Harsh Reality Trying To Gain Queen Elizabeth's Approval

Princess Diana's mother, Frances Shand Kydd, was connected to the late Queen Elizabeth II, but unfortunately, that didn't make for a great relationship between them, reportedly due to Frances' many comments to the media. Frances' ties to the queen went beyond her being an aristocrat or even Diana's mother. As noted by The Guardian, Frances' own mom was a member of the Queen Mother's inner circle alongside being a woman of the bedchamber too. However, Frances faced a number of scandals in her life (like leaving Diana's father John Spencer for Peter Shand Kydd in the late 1960s, and losing custody of her children in the divorce from Spencer in 1969). 

This, coupled with her willingness to speak to the press to defend either herself or her family, didn't sit well with the long-regining monarch. For instance, there was the time she sent The Times a letter, in 1980, lambasting journalists for following Diana around. Then, in 1982, Frances spoke with Gordon Honeycombe for his book "The Year of the Princess," to discuss herself and Spencer's custody battle. At the time, UPI reported that Diana was mortified by both that and her father's response, which ironically was: "It can only hurt Diana. Why did she do such a thing?"  

Knowing what we know about Her Majesty's strict stance on discretion, we're not surprised she disapproved of Frances' public comments. In fact, Ingrid Seward wrote in "Catherine & Diana" that one of the reasons she liked Carole Middleton when she became a royal mother-in-law was because she held her tongue even when cruelly depicted, or witnessing the mistreatment of her daughter. As such, "The queen liked Carole very much; she didn't like Frances," (via Marie Claire).

Queen Elizabeth II was famed for her stoicism and her love of privacy, so it's not terribly surprising that she reportedly found Frances Shand Kydd's overt emotion exasperating at times. After all, sticking with the Frances-Carole Middleton comparison, as Ingrid Seward noted in "Catherine & Diana," one of the things Her Majesty appreciated most about Princess Catherine's mother was that she, "Used her head, not her heart, when dealing with the phenomenon of becoming mother-in-law to the Prince of Wales," (via Marie Claire). Of course, according to royal experts, the queen was frequently frustrated by Diana's public displays of emotion.

And yet, the People's Princess herself was irritated by her mother's openness — and not just when she spoke about her divorce. In a quote given to Andrew Morton for "Diana: Her True Story — In Her Own Words," she detailed Frances' tears in the lead-up to her 1981 wedding to Prince Charles, complaining, "She kept crying and being all valiant and saying that she couldn't cope with the pressure — I tended to think I was the one under pressure because I was the bride," (via InStyle). Diana also felt "let down terribly" by her mother crying during the ceremony itself. 

Regardless, Frances continued speaking to the press, even after her daughter's untimely passing. In fact, in 2002, she expressed outrage over a water feature erected in her honor, telling French magazine VSD, "No one's ever taken the trouble to ask me my thoughts, either when Diana died or now," (via The Guardian). Clearly, Diana's mother lived her truth, but given just how different she was from the queen, we're not shocked the two women never became bosom buddies.