Why we're worried about North West's future

North West is the firstborn of Kanye West, the self-proclaimed greatest artist of all time, and Kim Kardashian, the epitome of famous for being famous. With two megalomaniacs as parents, could this little one become the planet's most self-absorbed person, or will she cower in Kimye's selfie-stick shadows? Only time will tell, but there are reasons aplenty to worry about this toddler's future.

Her parents are already tainting her public image

To be fair, millions of parents around the world love showing off their offspring, so Kim and Kanye are not alone on this one. Social media is swamped with compromising photos of kids drooling, crying, and potty training. Babies don't get a vote. The internet knows them before they know themselves. But as the progeny of Kimye, North's photos essentially belong to every interested person on the planet.

Kim's Instagram alone boasts 65 million followers, and she used it in March 2016 to share a voice-manipulated video of her daughter saying, "I don't think you know who I is. My name is North West, and I'm about to run this [expletive] for the rest of my life."

What if North doesn't want to run stuff? What if she aspires to live modestly and devote her time and energy to charity work? By the time she's old enough to make her own decisions, will she still have a choice?

Beauty is on the outside

North is learning early that looks are everything to her family. Kim and her sisters, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian and Kylie and Kendall Jenner, plus mom Kris Jenner, and brother Rob Kardashian, are all immersed in the fashion industry. Kanye led a string of failed fashion projects leading up to his current Yeezy collection. In short, the entire family is obsessed with appearances. North will be hard pressed to find a branch on her family tree that is not rooted in materialistic exhibitionism.

Momma Kim routinely shares soft porn photos of herself on social media. She published a 352-page book of her selfies in 2015, aptly titled Selfish. In March 2016, the 35-year-old posted a naked selfie in front of a bathroom mirror (black censor bars kept it permissible) with the caption, "When you're like I have nothing to wear LOL."

Shocking? Not at all. We think musical icon Bette Midler put it best when she tweeted, "If Kim wants us to see a part of her we've never seen, she's gonna have to swallow the camera."

Parental PDA

Every kid faces at least a few moments in life when their parents' public displays of affection gross them out. Remember the first time you connected the birds-and-the-bees talk to your actual mother and father? Oh, the horror! Now, imagine you're North. At some point you'll realize that a sex tape catapulted your mom's career, and your parents have been bumping and grinding for the cameras since they started dating in 2012.

Remember Kanye's infamous "Bound 2" video in 2013? A naked Kim rode a motorcycle with Kanye through Wile E. Coyote's hood. She rode the bike backward, of course, so she could straddle Kanye's lap and we could watch her body parts vibrate. In addition, the duo clearly wasn't wearing protection (Helmets, people. Helmets!)

Detachment Parenting

We're familiar with the philosophy of attachment parenting, in which moms and dads try to spend every waking (and sleeping) hour physically connected to their offspring, but Kim and Kanye appear to be taking a very different approach, instead spending sizable chunks of time sans North. In 2014, the internet erupted when one-year-old Nori flew parentless from New York to Los Angeles while her legal guardians made their way home from trips to Miami, the French Riviera, and Florence, Italy. Kim and Kanye made it home in time for their daughter's elaborate first birthday party, but social media already had its diapers in a bunch, nicknaming their baby "Ignori" and "Norphan" and accusing Kim and Kanye of treating their kid like a fashion accessory.

Okay, that's harsh. We've no doubt Kim and Kanye love North, and let's face it, if all parents had an entourage of helpers at their beck and call, they'd probably get out more too. Kim defended her itinerary on Twitter, saying "parents are allowed 2 work & support each other and maybe even have fun too."

Now that Kim and Kanye have added another child, Saint West, to their brood, will quality time with North decline? Kim has already admitted it's difficult to juggle two kids, plus the man-child that is their father. "My husband needs a lot of attention," she told Ryan Seacrest in November 2015.

The "B" word

It seems Kim and Kanye have done the impossible. They've managed to turn their daughter into a controversial celebrity by age two. Poor North has been caught in the crossfire of debates about her alleged brattiness and spoiled lifestyle. The kid's couture wardrobe includes $50,000 diamond earrings, fur coats, and sheer outfits to match her mom's skimpy ensembles. The little one's temper tantrums in the front rows of runway shows have even prompted discussions about banning kids from Fashion Week events.

Clearly, North is not to blame for this firestorm. She's just a toddler behaving like a toddler. Some have argued that Kanye and Kim are parenting pioneers, championing equal rights for babies. "Nori is a person, a human being just like everyone else, and she shouldn't be discriminated upon just because she's a baby," said an unnamed source for Hollywood Life. "…everyone has the right to enjoy the runway and so does Nori."

More money, more problems

Sorry about your trust fund, North. Daddy spent it trying to "make the world dope." Too bad Kanye made himself the dope when he took to Twitter to court investors for his global ideas. He sounded downright delusional in a series of rambling tweets directed at Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg in February 2016. Kanye said he was $53 million in debt and wanted Zuckerberg to give him $1 billion ASAP. "Mark, I know it's your bday but can you please call me by 2mrw…You love hip hop, you love my art…I am your favorite artist but you watch me barely breathe and still play my album in your house."

Say what? Oh, there's more: "I'm this generation's Disney," the 38-year-old rapper claimed. "I don't have enough resources to create what I really can…Mark, I am publicly asking you for help…one of the coolest things you could ever do is to help me in my time of need…and the world will love you…" This definitely sounds like a cry for help—the psychological kind.

We're not sure why Kanye didn't just ask the wifey for a handout, considering she soon after tweeted about profits from her self-titled video game. "…busy cashing my 80 million video game check & transferring 53 million into our joint account," she said. According to Forbes, those figures are grossly exaggerated, but the financial publication did estimate her total pretax earnings at around $53 million between June 2014 and June 2015 and Kanye's haul at about $22 million for the same period. Are you shaking your head? So are we. It seems little North is the most mature member of her family.