The Tragedy Of Food Network Alum Ina Garten Is So Sad

The following article includes mention of child abuse. 

Ina Garten has brought joy to countless Food Network fans over the years, but that's not to say the "Barefoot Contessa" star has always had an easy ride herself. Quite the contrary, she's been very forthcoming about her not-so-great childhood and has even mused over all the ways her upbringing continues to influence her to this day. 

Given Garten's impressive life and career today, one would be forgiven for thinking she grew up in a supportive household, but one surprising thing we've learned about Garten over the years is that that actually couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, some may remember that Garten revealed in a 2021 episode of "Cooking up a Storm with Al Roker" that she wasn't even allowed in her childhood kitchen. Garten explained that her mom wanted the kitchen all to herself and her daughter to study. However, it turns out there was more to it. As Garten explained in a 2024 interview on "Today," there was a general trend of her parents dissuading her from doing ... well, anything she wanted to do. "I was really so restricted as a child. I was always told whatever I wanted to do wasn't a good idea, so I wasn't myself," she explained. 

Of course, Garten eventually did go into the kitchen, and she has established herself as one of the best-known home cooks in the world. That's not to say she doesn't find her success surprising, though, when she thinks back on her formative years. "I just was shocked by how much courage I had, because I did come from a place where people told me I was incapable of doing anything," she mused.

Sadly, being dissuaded from her dreams was far from the worst part of Ina Garten's childhood. As she recounted in her memoir, "Be Ready When the Luck Happens," her father was both mentally and physically abusive. "When he got angry, which was often, anything could happen. He'd hit me or pull me around by my hair. Then, as if shocked by his own behavior, he'd leave the house, or go down to the basement until he could control himself," she recounted in one passage. Speaking to Hoda Kotb on "Today" of those incidents, Ina admitted that she feared for her life. "I was terrified that he was going to kill me," she shared. As a result, she'd spend most of her time in her room, which she hated — but even with the loneliness (and the fact that it had been decorated exclusively by her mother) — Ina felt as though she was protected there.  

As for the mental abuse, Ina also recounted in "Be Ready When the Luck Happens" that when she was just 15, her father told her she'd never get married, and that no one would ever love her. Given just how supportive (and lengthy) Ina's marriage to Jeffrey Garten has been, it's plain to see he was wrong there. That's not all, though. On "Today," Ina joked that having fans tell her they love her has meant more than they may realize. "It's this great cosmic joke to me," she chuckled. 

It bears mentioning that Ina's father eventually apologized to her, which she appreciated. What's more, he even got to see her succeed, and delighted in it, as a viewer of her TV shows. We're glad to hear he made amends before it was too late. 

Heartbreakingly, Ina Garten didn't just have an abusive father. She also had an emotionally unavailable mother, whom she described in her memoir as being icy. Thinking back on her childhood in her interview for "Today," Garten recalled that no one ever asked how her day was, whether she'd sustained any injuries on the playground, or if she got along with her classmates. "It was a very cold, lonely existence," she told Hoda Kotb. In addition to the lack of affection, Garten also noted in "Be Ready When the Luck Happens" that her mom had a penchant for shutting down her plans and ideas. "If I had an idea of my own, my mother's response was, 'You think it's a good idea, but it'll turn out badly,'" she wrote. As a result, Garten began internalizing the idea that her ideas weren't good enough, which in turn robbed her of her motivation. 

Then, there were the rules. Garten wrote that her mother ran a tight ship — something the Food Network star mused may have been her response to her own fear of her husband's volatile behavior. "It was her way of maintaining order and control," Garten shared. For Garten, that meant not going into the kitchen, and for both her and her brother, it meant no toys — unless they were strictly educational.

Sadly, when Kotb asked Garten on "Today" how she knew her mother loved her, she mused, "I'm not sure that I did. I don't know that she was capable." What's more, while Garten ultimately got an apology from her father for his abuse, there was never anything of the like from her mom. In fact, even once Garten had made it big, her mother scarcely acknowledged her success. 

One might assume that living in such a volatile home would have brought Ina Garten and her brother, Ken Rosenberg, closer together. However, it turns out the opposite was true. 

Garten wasn't exaggerating when she described her upbringing as lonely. In "Be Ready When the Luck Happens," she explained that because there was so much pressure on her and Rosenberg to get good grades, they were hardly ever able to spend time together as siblings normally would. "We were raised as if we were only children, with little interaction between us," she wrote. Even at family meals, she explained, education remained at the forefront. She and Rosenberg would play chess at breakfast, and then at dinner, they'd be quizzed on their general knowledge. Oh, and they'd also be tasked with reporting on their accomplishments for the day, which couldn't be things they enjoyed doing. 

Luckily, Garten and Rosenberg grew a lot closer as they got older, and she even credits him with helping her to make sense of what they had endured as kids. "I'm so grateful to him for helping me understand what happened to both of us," she revealed in her memoir. Garten also shared that thanks to her brother's position as a physician, he's been able to look into the possibility of their mom being "anxious depressive with a spectrum disorder." With their mother now passed away, it's unlikely they'll ever have all the answers, but it's great to know the siblings have been able to bond over their shared childhood trauma. 

What with all the trauma Ina Garten and Ken Rosenberg experienced in their own childhoods, it kind of makes sense that neither one of them felt particularly keen on starting families of their own. 

On "Today," Ina explained that she decided not to have children a few years into her marriage to Jeffrey Garten, despite initially thinking she would. "In my 20s, I kind of resisted having children. I was like, 'Why would I want to recreate that nightmare that I just came from?'" she shared. Turns out Rosenberg felt the same way. As Ina wrote in "Be Ready When the Luck Happens," she and her brother had been having lunch and started talking about the possibility of having kids. "We each said that we didn't want to have children because we were afraid of doing to them what our parents did to us," she shared. 

Though Rosenberg ultimately had a change of heart and adopted a little boy with his wife, Ina has never wavered in her decision — and in an interview with BBC, she explained that writing her memoir had made it clearer than ever that she'd made the right choice. "I'm kind of looking back at my childhood and it was nothing I wanted to recreate," she said. Instead, Ina has put her energy behind her business, and behind healing her own inner child — and the two are often linked. As she told The Nosher back in 2020, "I think a lot of what I do is creating what I always wanted, rather than a memory of something." We love it for her!

Even if Ina Garten's childhood was far from a happy one, her marriage to Jeffrey Garten is typically seen as the ultimate example of a supportive relationship. However, the marriage wasn't always as rosy as it seemed. In fact, after Ina quit her job at the White House to open the Barefoot Contessa store, she and Jeffrey actually separated. 

Speaking to People, Ina revealed that the gender roles in her marriage had made her resentful, and she realized she wanted to put her focus on running her business without being expected to have food on the table at home every night, too. After unsuccessfully trying to get her message across, Ina broached the topic of a potential separation, and she and Jeffrey spent three months thinking about what they wanted. Once the three months were up, Jeffrey was desperate to make things work, and Ina asked him to see a therapist so he'd be able to better understand where she was coming from. He did, it clicked, and they reconciled within weeks. Decades down the line, they're still together.  

One sweet note worth mentioning is that since meeting Ina, Jeffrey has been the one person who has believed in her, no matter what. In fact, in her interview with People, Ina shared that after they were married, he encouraged her to keep looking for whatever made her happy. What's more, even when she asked for a separation, he honored her plans without question. Ina might not have had a great start, early on, but it's safe to say she made it in spite of everything. Ina summed it up best in her "Today" interview: "The story of your childhood doesn't have to be the story of your life." If you need us, we'll be re-watching "Barefoot Contessa" from Season 1. 

If you or someone you know may be the victim of child abuse, please contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453) or contact their live chat services.