Princess Diana's Tension With Stepmother Raine Boiled Over In A Violent 1989 Incident

Princess Diana famously didn't get along with her stepmother, Raine, Countess Spencer, and according to her brother, Charles Spencer, things once became so heated that they became physical. As Charles wrote in his book "Swan Song: Diana, My Sister," Diana once pushed Raine down a set of stairs. 

As royal fans will know, Diana's parents got divorced in 1969, though even before then, her mother, Frances Shand Kydd, had fallen in love with her second husband and moved out of the house Diana and Charles grew up in, Althorp. Their father, John Spencer, remarried Raine in 1976, but that certainly didn't make for more harmony in the family unit. In fact, Charles told People that he recalled Diana "slapping my father when he told her he was marrying my stepmother." Fast-forward to 1989 when both Diana and Charles were adults, and Diana was the Princess of Wales. As he wrote in "Swan Song: Diana, My Sister," the family was having tea the day before his first wedding, and naturally, his mother had been invited. However, rather than smile tightly through an awkward family reunion, Shand Kydd had been asked to sit separately from everyone else. 

Charles wrote that Diana had been furious about the slight. "This is Charles's mother, Raine,' [Diana] said, 'and she has to be included with the rest of us — not sent to a separate room like some naughty child! Do you really have no idea how to behave?'" he penned (via InStyle). He added that Raine had retorted, "I have always felt so very sorry for the Prince of Wales, marrying somebody quite as stupid as you." In response, he added that his sister "took a step forward, hooked a long leg round Raine's calves before shoving her down the carpeted staircase." Yikes.

It's worth noting that Charles Spencer wasn't the first insider to talk about Princess Diana pushing their stepmother down the stairs. Far from it, the incident was previously addressed in the documentary "Princess Diana's 'Wicked' Stepmother," with Raine Spencer's personal assistant opening up about it. In Sue Howe's recollection of the incident, she didn't mention Frances Shand Kydd being sent to another room, but said Diana had been upset that Raine wasn't interacting with her mother. Of the aftermath of the incident, Howe shared, "She was badly bruised, and was dreadfully upset. It was not justified at all" (via The Smithsonian). Howe added, "It was a cruel, heartless thing to do, and I think it was Diana's perception of how Raine was treating Mrs. Shand Kydd."

Charles has a somewhat more sympathetic view, though he did clarify in his interview with People that he wouldn't justify his sister's actions. "I'm not saying it's a good thing in any way to be physically violent, but it was the buildup of an enormous amount of really strong feeling and a flashpoint where I think she thought she was standing up for my mother," he said. 

Royal watchers may know that Diana and Raine did ultimately improve their relationship, the former's ex-butler Paul Burrell even telling Entertainment Weekly in 2019, "The last two or three years, the princess did a full 180-degree turn." Burrell said Diana realized as she got older that Raine had truly adored her father, and he even went as far as saying if both women were alive, "I think they would still be best of friends." Diana certainly experienced a lot of family tragedy, so we're glad she and Raine were able to work through their issues.