Why Selena Gomez And The Weeknd Were Doomed
Selena Gomez and The Weeknd (real name: Abel Tesfaye) made their grand debut as a couple on a highly publicized, PDA-filled dinner date in January 2017.
A witness told E! News: "They were [at the restaurant] for three hours! Just the two of them. They came out and were so happy. They were hugging and kissing. His driver waited for them and her driver pulled up shortly after. They were super affectionate. Selena was all over him. Hugging him, kissing. She looked amazing so incredibly happy and in love." Another spy told People, "It was a romantic dinner date in the rain. They acted like a couple. They ordered pasta and shared the food. She seemed very into him—she was smiling a lot. They left holding hands."
Unfortunately, the love didn't last. On Oct. 30, 2017, sources close to the couple told People that Gomez and Tesfaye had called it quits. Here's why the rest of the world saw this coming.
He was on the rebound
At the beginning of Tesfaye and Gomez's relationship, sources said that he was still hung up on model Bella Hadid, which is very possible, considering they only split in November 2016, a mere two months (if that) before Gomez and Tesfaye began seeing each other.
A source told Hollywood Life, "The Weeknd still has feelings for [Hadid] because she knows him as the performer and as Abel—not many people do. She understood him in a very unique way, and the more popular he becomes, that's something that can't really happen anymore."
More credence was given to Tesfaye's rumored longing for Hadid just days before his split from Gomez was announced. A source told Page Six that Tesfaye was beefing with Hadid's new fling, Drake. "They both hang in the same Toronto crew and now they're having to pick sides. The Weeknd performed and people on Drake's side were like, 'I can't show up to that... Got to have allegiance.'... They aren't getting along right now... The groups are beefing because [Drake] broke the bro code. They 100 percent hooked up."
He might be a player
Tesfaye and Hadid were together for about a year and a half, and that may be his relationship limit at this stage in his life. Though he rebounded quickly with Gomez, Tesfaye talked to GQ about his fear of commitment. "I feel like I'm the kind of guy that would have kids before getting married. The first thing would be kids. Marriage is scary to me, man." Perhaps ten months with Gomez had started to feel too serious.
She has issues with dating
Tesfaye may not have realized what he was getting himself into dating Gomez, who admits to having relationship issues, in general.
"I think people would think it's kind of dumb [to date me]. Nobody would want to throw themselves into that situation where it was so heightened publicly, she told Vogue Australia (via People) in August 2016. "Like, why would they? The guys that do have the confidence to hit on me are not necessarily my type, but they think they are because I'm a pop star, I sing songs, do movies, I like to feel sexy and confident on stage. I'd be so stoked with a writer or producer or actor who is low-key, but those kind of guys are terrified of me!"
He's open about drug use...
Tesfaye admitted to The Guardian in December 2016 that he "dibbles and dabbles and whatnot" in drugs, but "everything in moderation...When I had nothing to do but make music, it was very heavy. Drugs were a crutch for me. There were songs on my first record that were seven minutes long, rambling—whatever thoughts I was having when I was under the influence at the time. I can't see myself doing that now." He said he used cocaine, ketamine, MDMA, mushrooms, and cough syrup, and that he used them not just to have a good time, but in an effort to stay awake to work on music after working retail during the day.
Tesfaye also openly sings about drugs in his songs, including hits "The Hills" (in which he sings, "When I'm f**ked up / That's the real me") and "Can't Feel My Face," which is about cocaine. He told The Guardian that he feels like he has his habits moderated, but admits, "Right now, I feel in control. Where it takes me after, I don't know."
...and she has been in and out of treatment
Gomez has reportedly had her own struggles with substance abuse and left rehab for the third time in November 2016—so hanging out with an open drug user may not bode well for her recovery. Though Gomez and her camp insist she was seeking treatment for emotional and psychological issues stemming from her lupus diagnosis, some insiders claim she had substance abuse problems as well.
A source told Radar Online after her first rehab stint in early 2014, "Her friends and family became increasingly worried that there might be a serious problem...The partying was, at times, wild. They wanted to help her—and they very much encouraged her to go to rehab." Star reported at the time that Gomez often smoked weed with her on-again-off-again ex Justin Bieber. An insider told Radar Online that she was "experimenting with marijuana and prescription drugs, including Xanax and Ambien."
Just before going to rehab again in summer 2016, a source told In Touch Weekly, "Selena's major source of unhappiness right now is twofold. She's realizing that the career she so desperately wanted as a child doesn't fulfill her anymore. And then there's her inability to date a nice, normal guy."
Sources said her most recent rehabilitation seems to be sticking...for now. "Since Selena got out of rehab, she has been cutting out all of the bad influences in her life," a source told Radar Online in December 2016. "Selena is sober now, and she is doing everything right. She is continuing to see a therapist and surround herself with positive influences." Based on his own admissions, was Tesfaye really a positive influence?
She may have been compromising her values
In November 2016, in her first post-rehab public appearance, Gomez lamented that social media was the undoing of a lot of wonderful people, telling the audience at the Billboard Music Awards, "I don't want to see your bodies on Instagram, I want to see what's in [your heart]. I'm not trying to get validation nor do I need it anymore." That's great, right? So why, the day after she went public with Tesfaye, did Gomez appear nearly nude on Instagram? It seems as if she was sacrificing her own principles, which isn't healthy for someone trying to mend personal issues with self-image.
Were they milking it for publicity?
Remember when Gomez had a fling with DJ Zedd right around the time they dropped their collaboration "I Want You To Know" in early 2015? She had no problem selling their romance on Instagram, Twitter, and at public events...even though she was rumored to be privately hanging out with Bieber at the time. Even industry peers called Gomez and Zedd out for the alleged fakery, so there's a strong possibility that happened again. Why? Us Weekly reported that Gomez and Tesfaye were collaborating on music, and, well, history repeats itself.
"At first, Selena and Abel wanted to keep their relationship a secret," a source told E! News. "But they've decided they really don't care if everyone knows about them."
Maybe the reason they didn't care if everyone knew about them was because that was the point. Gomez and Tesfaye essentially debuted their romance via a very public makeout session at Giorgio Baldi, a notorious paparazzi hotspot. In some of those snaps, Gomez even stares directly at the cameras. When the pair went public, Gomez was teasing a "secret project" on social media, and Tesfaye dropped the single "Party Monster," which contains the lyrics "a** like Selena," on Jan. 12, 2017–two days after their makeout session. If you think that's a coincidence, we have some magic beans to sell you.
The 'squad' was stuck in the middle
Gomez is BFFs with Taylor Swift, who is also BFFs with Hadid's big sister, model Gigi Hadid. As a result of this tangled web of celebrity romances, the dynamics among the members of Swift's squad may have gotten awkward, especially since Gomez and Bella have run in the same circles before. After Gomez hooked up with Tesfaye, Us Weekly reported that Bella unfollowed the singer on Instagram.
"Bella [Hadid] feels like she's been stabbed in the back," a source told Hollywood Life in January 2017. "She just doesn't understand why Selena is flaunting her relationship with The Weeknd. The least she can do is be private about it. Bella never, ever saw this coming and thinks Selena should have called her first out of courtesy, instead of making out with him in public for the whole world to see. She's also surprised how easily The Weeknd has moved on. It's only been two months. This is all very hurtful."
He's private; she isn't
Considering Gomez seems to appreciate PDA with her beaus (and even shows it on her phone screen in public), the fact that Tesfaye is pretty private may have thrown a wrench into their romance.
A source told Hollywood Life, "He wants to shut down all the extra stuff, he doesn't want to be seen out and about everywhere with her and all over the news and social media as a couple. He wants to be known as an artist and the relationship can thrive behind closed doors. He is not in any mood to be the next Bennifer or Brangelina and if it gets to those crazy levels he will shut down the relationship immediately." The source added, "He doesn't want to be a pawn in anyone's game, he doesn't want his relationships to become a Taylor Swift type joke."
Some said she was just using him
Bella reportedly pointed out to her ex that Gomez has an alleged habit of dating collaborators. A source told Us Weekly, "Bella has reached out to Abel a few times and told him Selena is using him. He thinks she's just jealous and isn't listening to her." But Bella wasn't alone in her thinking.
Insiders also told TMZ that Bieber was "rolling his eyes" at the Gomez-Tesfaye pairing because he supposedly thinks she dates famous guys and collaborators whenever she needs a career boost, dating all the way back to Nick Jonas. A source told Hollywood Life, "Not only would [Selena] like to join [Tesfaye] on tour but she would also like to join him on tour to perform with him or even open up for him on some dates."
He may have been using her, too
E! Online reported that during a date night at Dave & Buster's in Los Angeles, Tesfaye and his pals wore really conspicuous, self-promotional outfits. "Several of The Weeknd's friends were also spotted hanging with the hot, new couple, wearing jackets and sweatshirts promoting the Canadian singer's latest album Starboy as well as his record company, XO Records." What's more, Dave & Buster's was a frequent date night spot for Gomez and Bieber, which only adds to the drama (and the publicity).
Any and everyone Gomez dates gets media attention. Are you picking up what we're putting down? It's fair to argue this relationship was mutually beneficial: the same day they were photographed together at D&B's, she dropped a trailer for her Netflix production of 13 Reasons Why. At this point, maybe the pairing has served its purpose.
She had a major health crisis
On Sept. 14, 2017, Gomez revealed that she'd undergone a kidney transplant, which is a major operation and could easily stress even the strongest relationships. Still, sources told People that Tesfaye did his best to support Gomez and even scheduled his Starboy: Legend of the Fall tour dates around her operation.
She's not over Justin Bieber
A source told Radar Online that Gomez's romance with Tesfaye may have served as a way to get back at her infamous ex, especially after their spat over his romance with model Sofia Richie in September 2016. An insider said, "[Gomez and Tesfaye's photos] seemed to be just another sad attempt to make Justin Bieber jealous. Some people close to her think that the only reason she ever really dates anyone is to make Justin care. He might be the only person she has loved and probably ever will love."
In late October 2017, Gomez was spotted traipsing all around town with Biebs. A source dished to Us Weekly, "The ball is in Selena's court right now. She was happy with The Weeknd but Justin always has the biggest piece of her heart. This situation is a heartstring type of thing. She has to figure out what she wants." A second source said, "Justin really wants to get back with Selena. He has been texting her nonstop and hangs out with her whenever he can. Selena insisted that they were just friends and that The Weeknd had nothing to worry about, but she can't deny that she still loves Justin. He had such a big piece of her heart and was such a huge part of her life for so long. She can't just let him go."
They grew apart
Tesfaye and Gomez's hectic schedules ultimately ruined the romance, sources claimed. An insider told E! News, "It's been hard for them to come to the realization that this is the direction things were heading, but it's been hard for months. They have been open and honest about it and where they were going. Distance definitely played a factor."
An insider concurred to People, "She and Abel have been going back and forth for a few months about their relationship. It's been hard with him being on tour and her shooting in New York. That wasn't easy on them." The source added that Gomez "always made an effort" to visit Tesfaye on tour, but when she couldn't because of her own work schedule, "that played a part in them getting distant. It's over for now, but they're still in touch."