The Absolute Worst-Dressed Attendees At Lauren Sanchez & Jeff Bezos' Wedding

Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's wedding invitation was a harbinger of the apparel apocalypse that was about to hit Venice, Italy, where the couple decided to spend three days celebrating their union with an assemblage of celebrity guests. Much like the invite, many of the attendees' outfits didn't exactly look luxurious — they weren't what you'd expect to see at a wedding with an estimated $50 million price tag.

The low-end wedding invitation was something a teen might have made in computer class circa 1999 with its smattering of butterfly, dragonfly, and bird clipart. Bezos and Sánchez ever so graciously asked their guests not to bring gifts, allowing them to spend more of their wedding budgets on their ensembles. Unfortunately, it seemed like said guests took a look at photos of Sánchez's ever-growing collection of inappropriate apparel and decided that the best way to get in her good graces was to garb themselves in similarly gaudy clothing. Meanwhile, many social media users were disgusted with the stars' displays of decadence during a time when so many are struggling to make ends meet. It was also pointed out that the event wasn't a great argument for the rich needing those massive tax breaks that they keep getting. "If Jeff Bezos can afford to rent Venice for a $50 million wedding, he can afford to pay his fair share in taxes," Senator Elizabeth Warren wrote on X.

Bezos, Sánchez, and their deep-pocketed guests might as well send more of their wealth the government's way, as they have definitively proved that their money is going to waste on trying to buy taste.

Kylie Jenner, gurl, you haven't been asked to be Mrs. Chalamet yet, so put that (almost) white dress away. The inappropriate outfit Jenner chose for Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's nuptials got eviscerated online because she appeared to breach wedding etiquette by wearing a color that was too close to bridal white (it certainly didn't help matters that it had a bridal lingerie vibe). With its lace-up front, her corseted Dilara Findikoglu gown also resembled a pair of lace-up football pants, which probably had fellow attendee Tom Brady yearning for the days when he hung his Trump hat in his locker ahead of games.

It was the war of the whittled-down waists in Venice, where Kim Kardashian squeezed hers into an archival Versace gown that clung to her curves like Jeff Bezos clings to his cash. The dark brown dress would have been tolerable if not for the scalloped side panels that resembled a colon on an anatomy chart. We don't even want to imagine what shape Kardashian's own bowels were contorted into underneath her shapewear.

Barbiecore is becoming such a bore, but there was so much pink at Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's wedding. Ivanka Trump, who has worn more outfits that missed the mark than you might think, chose a shade of the color that did not complement her skin tone or her far darker lipstick at all. The beadwork on her prom dress created a large blossom design, bringing to mind those poor flowers in the White House Rose Garden that will now have a gloomy view of a concrete slab, thanks to its Mar-a-Lago makeover.

While many wedding attendees were channeling Glinda the Gaudy Witch in their pink ensembles, Kendall Jenner went for a different Oz color scheme. In her sheer black dress and green jewels, she transformed into the Wicked Witch of the West Hollywood It Girl Urge to Wrestle the Spotlight Away From the Bride on her Wedding Day. Jenner's underwear appeared to be visible in some photos, which will always be tacky for a wedding, no matter how socially acceptable naked dresses have become. And her emerald jewelry looked like it came from a "Wicked" playset on the toy aisle.

"The Great Gatsby" star Leonard DiCaprio showed up to Lauren Sánchez and Jeff Bezos' extravaganza of excess in a baseball cap of shame: a black LA Dodgers hat pulled down low over his eyes. It was not suitable formal apparel, of course, and it was heavily speculated that the environmentalist wore it because he was embarrassed to be seen at an event where the private jet fuel flowed like water. If he were in Jack's position right then, he probably would have gladly let go of that Titanic door.

Jewel's foolish fashion games are tearing us apart. The "You Were Meant for Me" singer was one of the more random celebs on Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's guest list, and she showed up in a look that was not meant for a wedding. The front of her high-low dress was high enough to be a bit tasteless, and the giant rose was perhaps a tacky attempt to coordinate her outfit with that of Ivanka Trump (in case you're unaware, the two women are pals, and Jewel even performed at one of Donald Trump's inauguration events).

Queen Rania of Jordan didn't dust off her best duds for America's own twisted version of a royal wedding. The muted stripes on her multicolored dress were giving cheap hotel shower curtain, while the gown's sheer overlay embellished with sparkly floral details resembled curtains from a tween girl's bedroom. And she covered it all with a bedsheet shawl. Like so many of the wedding guests, she was dressed like a cliché caricature you might see in an indie director's cinematic sneer at the wealthy.

Days before his wedding, Jeff Bezos risked embarrassing Lauren Sánchez on their big day by acquiring some tan lines on his bald head. They seemed to be gone by the time he walked down the aisle, but he had another problem: When combined with his black bowtie and the matching buttons on his tux, the tiny lenses of his sunglasses made him look like a budget Bond villain. He also made a major fashion faux pas. "He's wearing a business vest, which is designed for business suits," so sayeth esteemed menswear expert and X icon Derek Guy.

Before her wedding, Lauren Sánchez's seemingly new face work threatened to ruin her bridal look, but she was all smiles while posing in her Dolce & Gabbana wedding gown on the cover of Vogue. Anna Wintour had announced that she was stepping down from her position as the magazine's editor-in-chief the day before the cover was released, making it seem as though she didn't want to be associated with the fashion disaster. In a seeming attempt to dress conservatively for the first time ever, Sánchez covered her décolletage with lace but pushed her look into tacky territory with a row of front buttons.