Kristi Noem's Eyebrow Blindness Couldn't Be More Obvious In These Photos

Kristi Noem has come to be known as the mold for "Mar-a-Lago face," and while some of that has to do with Noem's rumored plastic surgery and the secretary of homeland security's spendy hair extensions, a lot of it is thanks to her heavy makeup. Unfortunately, while it sometimes makes her look more youthful, there have also been times when the Trump staffer's quest for thicker brows hasn't exactly panned out for her — and sometimes, these mishaps have bordered on comical. 

For instance, Noem gave us 2017-esque Instagram brows in 2026. Granted, they weren't quite as thick as the ones we saw back then, but they did have those razor-sharp edges and a slight fade. But it didn't seem as though the controversial politician's products were quite the same color as her natural brows, as a closer look at Noem's makeup also made it abundantly clear that she had drawn hers over them (if the aforementioned edges weren't already blinding enough evidence). 

Just a few days before the Instagram brows debacle, Kristi Noem sported a vastly different look, with her eyebrows not quite as heavily drawn on. TBH, the slightly thinner brows made the White House staffer look more like she did before Noem's makeup transformation, and we wouldn't hate it if she returned to that. However — and we can't stress this enough — that brow product-natural color debacle is noticeable, and in the absence of finding the right shade, her naturally much lighter colored brows stuck out like a sore thumb. 

Back to Kristi Noem's more obviously penciled-in brow moments, we present: The time she went full cartoon villain with a particularly sharp pair. The starting points were so boxy it almost looked as though she'd used a ruler to draw them on, while the tails were so razor-edged we were a little frightened. All in all, it was kind of giving Ursula the sea witch turning into Vanessa, if not even more severe. Those poor, unfortunate brows!

Perhaps we have Kristi Noem to thank for all the 2016 throwback enthusiasm, because in 2025 she rocked a lewk that could easily have been seen on the 'gram back then. Thick, sharp brows took center stage during a visit to Ecuador, and she also emphasized her brows even more by outlining them with highlighter. BRB, having flashbacks to IG makeup tutorials. No word on whether Noem used a lip kit for the look, but it certainly would be on theme if she had. We just wish the Trump staffer had applied it better, but that's a gripe for another day. 

Sometimes, cosmetic enhancements are so subtle you're not even sure what's been done. You look at someone and marvel, "They just look so fresh and rested — what could it possibly be?" And then, conversely, there are those times when you can pinpoint it from a mile away. We give you: Kristi Noem's very clearly microbladed brows. Severe enough to be visible even under a cowgirl hat, the secretary of homeland security got rid of any guess work for us mere mortals.

Another headwear moment, another opportunity for that microblading to take center stage. When the former governor of South Dakota swapped out her cowgirl look for an ICE Barbie one, the peaked cap (indoors too, tut tut) shaded her eye area. That, in turn, brought more attention to Noem's brows (and the heavy highlighter underneath them, to really make 'em pop). The cap also emphasized Noem's ubiquitous fake lashes, but as with the lip kit mess, we simply haven't got the time to get into all of Noem's Republican makeup fails right now. 

We know we're not the only ones who've seen jokes online about going back in time to the early 2000s to warn people that the star of "The Apprentice" would become president and that his administration would be filled with other wannabe celebs. It certainly looks as though Kristi Noem has seen them, too. However, rather than taking it as a moment for reflection, she seemingly decided to go all-in, right down to the skinny, super polished brows and hoop earrings. Way to tell us you've been rewatching "Desperate Housewives" without telling us. Hey, from 2006 to 2016, there's no question Noem has range.